Pot and tobacco addicted partner, and grumpy when not smoking, what should I do?

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Kay - posted on 02/06/2012

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Your 5 mo. old daughter is being exposed to second hand smoke which can damage her lungs. Your boyfriend doesn't 't care about this. He doesn't care about being addicted to pot. He doesn't care enough about his baby to help with her care. He doesn't care about making enough money to pay the bills. He doesn't care about spending time with you or the baby . Sorry, but he is a loser and he will never change. Run, don't walk, away from this man. See what support system you have to help with the transition. If you have no one, contact a public or private organization for help. You and your baby deserve better. Best wishes

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Seirra - posted on 02/08/2012

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forget waiting i doubt he will change LEAVE HIS ASS!!! if he aint doin f*ck all then leave him i kno someone like that and ur child is number one think of ur kid not him or u think of her!!! is it ok to be with a father like that? no he just hides and i can just imagine how "grumpy" he get wen he has nothing i say leave him and dont look beck ull be doin better if u do!!

Satu - posted on 02/07/2012

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Thanks Emma, Yes, I know I ask myself that, why have him watch me do everything, may aswell be on my own with my baby, save on some jobs like cooking and cleaning for him too, and cheaper food bill too. He has been better last few days, but will that last? Wait and see for a little while only!

Stifler's - posted on 02/07/2012

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Is he really BEING a father if he's constantly high or grumpy and doesn't help anyway or get a job?

Satu - posted on 02/06/2012

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Thanks Kay, he does now have it in his shed after a few big fights, I do feel like running sometimes, but sometimes I feel sorry for him and the baby needs a father, but then again, it if continues forever, ?????

Satu - posted on 02/06/2012

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Thanks Karen, don't know what to do with family sometimes I guess, see how it pans out for now.

Karen - posted on 02/06/2012

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I have some experience with this. I have learned that trying to force someone to quit just makes them resent you for not letting them have "fun". I remember when pot was more important than anything.



He has to have a reason to quit and he has to want to. Putting pressure on him to quit cold turkey will most likely cause him to hide it from you.



Your man has an addictive personality if hes making coffee and smoking as soon as he gets home. That's something he has to change on his own. Does he realize hes got an addictive personality? Knowing you do sometimes helps you not even attempt to do something you know you will get hooked on.



I grew up with a party dad. We always had people over and the smell of pot was always in the air. The loud laughter and the sound of glass being tossed into the garbage was constant. My mom probably would of loved to have a site like this at her fingertips back in those days lol.



FYI, my dad never changed. He just got too old to keep partying. Now he spends his days retired, but still socializing on the phone to his old retired party buddies. Even now, If my dad gets hold of a few beers, hes dialing every young member of my family to try and score a bag of pot.

Satu - posted on 02/05/2012

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What should I do? I have a five month old girl, partner never helps with baby, like 99percent of the time. He likes rum, but is addicted to pot and tobacco everyday, and is grumpy or depressed when he doesn't smoke, promised to give up when baby came, and now says that is what he does and always will. He doesn't even earn enough money to cover costs and bills, doesn't want to go for a higher paying job because he likes his easy job, and the mortgage could be on the line soon? And he likes to visit or have his buddys around to hang out in his shed.He isn't much fun to anywhere with because when his high wears off, he gets grumpy and wants to go home, to have another smoke. It's the first thing he does when he comes home from work, and make a coffee. He also has 2 other girls to a previous marriage, we are only de-facto. I can't see him giving up.

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