potty training???

Emily - posted on 11/07/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

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My son turned 3 october 12th and still isnt potty trained, ive tried EVERYTHING!!! I feel like im a bad mum as when people realise he still wears nappys 'THE LOOK' spreads across there face as if to say what are you playing at woman! He is a clever boy and has hit all his other milestones, he was born at 29 weeks so was really small and was in hospital for 6 weeks. I dont think this is a factor but my husband says it might be. Any ideas or advice would be gratefully received as i feel like ive hit a wall xx :(

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Billie Jo - posted on 11/09/2009

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my daughter was potty trained at 3 1/2 when she new the difference between the 2 so it was pretty easy now that i have a son he is being slow im hopin to get him done soon but don t think he is ready yet but who knows he is talkin to much eith so its hard to explain to him what is what but he know what number 2 is

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Mary - posted on 11/10/2009

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Quoting Caryn:
Your child not only has to have the ability to do things like Mary suggested but also needs the muscle development to be able to hold it if/when needed. This is what causes kids to take a long time to train, parents push their child to learn before they have this muscle development. If a child can't hold it they aren't ready to train.


Thanks Caryn, I should have mentioned that too, and thanks for adding it, as it is very important!

Holly - posted on 11/09/2009

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every child is different and you cant make these things happen. they all do it in their own time when THEY are ready! the bigger deal you make out of it, the more difficult is becomes for them i think:)

Caryn - posted on 11/09/2009

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There is no "right" time to start potty training. I personally think around age 2is a good time to start introducing the potty but not actually training. Your child will let you know when s/he is ready to learn. Pushing them before they are ready only causes frustration and a lack of trust between you and your child.

Your child not only has to have the ability to do things like Mary suggested but also needs the muscle development to be able to hold it if/when needed. This is what causes kids to take a long time to train, parents push their child to learn before they have this muscle development. If a child can't hold it they aren't ready to train.

Mary - posted on 11/09/2009

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Oh it varies from child to child. I first started with DS at 2 yr 3 month, with the idea that if he did not take to it we would try again in a month. Some may start earlier, some later. They need to be able to understand words such as poo, pee pee etc, have some ability to pull pants up/down (although they need help at first), recongise when they are wet/dirty, perhaps taking nappy off etc. We had potty around for ages before starting and also DS witnessed the adults using the toilet too.

Mary - posted on 11/09/2009

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Just to say we used a sticker chart for DS and it worked well. He was trained at 2 and 3 months ish, now dry day time and although he is also mainly dry at night he wears a nappy to bed for now (stopping soon though!). Your child will do it in their time, and if a preemie then of course the milestones may be different. Encourage, encourage, encourage combined with putting on potty every twenty mins, runing around naked and then straight to pants (pull ups cause confusion imho).
Good luck.

Amy - posted on 11/08/2009

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Every child is different. Some take longer than others. With my stepson we put cheerios in the potty for number 1 and he got a matchbox car everytime he went. that got expensive quick but you live and learn. With my daughter she gets an M&M everytime for #1 and a snack size candy bar or sucker for # 2. We are still working on it with her but she's getting it. The only time she pees now is overnight or if she's too busy playing (i think she forgets to tell me or just doesn't want to take time to go). We did have some issues getting my stepson to quit going #2 in his underwear until one day he went in them and decided to kick them off (fully loaded). We gave him a roll of tp and had him pick it all up. He didn't like that so he never did it again.

Also another issue after potty training is bed wetting. This may take a lot longer. From what my hubby says its genetic. He had problems with that when he was younger and his mother tried every contraption out there to get him to stop but he just had to out grow it. My stepson is 7 going on 8 and still has occasional accidents but take heart they are getting fewer.

Sorry for the long post. Hope this helps.

Caryn - posted on 11/08/2009

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Your welcome! I'm a big believer in letting kids learn on their own time. Just because a child has a birthday doesn't mean the HAVE to start doing things, it annoys me quite a bit when people say they should be doing something because they are a certain age.
I hope the sticker chart helps! Remember to keep making a big deal about it without pushing, get him excited and he will hopefully want to train sooner rather than later!
Let us know what the dr says this week!

Emily - posted on 11/07/2009

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Quoting Caryn:

It probably is a factor. He is only as old as his due date. My step-daughter was born at 26weeks and at almost 4yrs old is still quite behind other kids her due-date age.
Some kids train later than others and there is nothing wrong with that. Make a big deal about the potty but don't push him to use it. When he is ready he will train.
I don't agree with forcing him by taking him every so often or letting him run around with undie's on. IMO this is just pushing a child to do something they aren't ready to do and only leads to frustration and a lack of trust between you and your child.
If he hits about 3 1/2 and still shows no signs of wanting to train you may want to talk to his dr since he was so early there could possibly be a reason for it. Hopefully not but you never know!
Good luck to you!



Thank you for your advice Caryn it was lovely to here someone say not to worry and not to push him. Everyone else seems to think he is behind and i get the impression they think im not doing enough. Ive made a little sticker chart for him today because he loves stickers and im hoping it will encourage him. Im going to see his health visitor next week for some more tips so fingers crossed we will see some headway. Thank you again for your advice. I will post progress on here so keep you fingers crossed for me!!

Caryn - posted on 11/07/2009

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It probably is a factor. He is only as old as his due date. My step-daughter was born at 26weeks and at almost 4yrs old is still quite behind other kids her due-date age.
Some kids train later than others and there is nothing wrong with that. Make a big deal about the potty but don't push him to use it. When he is ready he will train.
I don't agree with forcing him by taking him every so often or letting him run around with undie's on. IMO this is just pushing a child to do something they aren't ready to do and only leads to frustration and a lack of trust between you and your child.
If he hits about 3 1/2 and still shows no signs of wanting to train you may want to talk to his dr since he was so early there could possibly be a reason for it. Hopefully not but you never know!
Good luck to you!

Danielle - posted on 11/07/2009

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What I did to potty train my daughter may be a little inconventional but it worked and she was in panties by 27 months and panties full time even at night by 2 1/2. My house is all tile so I let her run around naked and told her not to pee on mommies floor. If you have to potty use your big girl potty. Which I brought in the living room. It is central area of my home until she got the hang of it. The first time she had an accident and peed on my floor (which was expected) I said, "oohh you peed on mommies floor". and she felt soo bad about making a mess and having pee all over her legs it only happened twice before she had no more accidents. Then we went to Wal Mart and she picked out big girl panties and I told her if she pees in them we would throw them away. (not that i would). She was so afraid to lose her new princess panties she NEVER had an accident after that. I dont know if it will be that easy with my second daughter or with yours. She's 3 1/2 now and has still never wet the bed or anywhere else! My youngest daughter turned 2 last week and I am waiting for her to show a sign of wanting to not have a diaper anymore before I start with her. She is defintly still in baby mode so I dunno if I should start with her yet. Hope this will work for you! Give it a shot!

Iris - posted on 11/07/2009

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Have u tried putting him on the potty every 20 minutes or so? Or put cheerios or something like that in the potty and when he goes, he can try to sink them or hit them in the potty.. U can make it a game... I don't know what kind of potty u have.. But they have the singing potty, when he goes pee or does the other, it sings to him...When my son was younger he was easy to potty train because he did not like being wet...

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