Potty Training.. Dicipline.. Keeping calm. I'm going CRAZY!!

Thewhodatchick - posted on 04/28/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I am at my wits end. A EXTREMELY brief && VAGUE discription of my life since I'm new here. I'm 24 years old && have a almost 3 yr old son. I do not work. My husband works on a rig 14 days home 14 days gone. My mother even at this age tries to run my life & everyone elses around her (meaning if I go to town I must tell her for how long & why & when I'll be back etc.). I'll probably post another subject about that part.

My real problem is my son lol. He used to listen to my every word. I completely understand about the 'terrible twos' as I have been told about them multible times. He now defies my EVERY WORD. There is nothing that he will listen to anymore. He is the sweetest child to everybody else. Babysitters, my parents, my husband && even me when he's sleepy. During the day (which he is only with me every day all day).... It's a constant power struggle. It's gotten to the point I have to holler almost everything to make him listen && he still wont do it. He is speech delayed && I've been attempting potty training as well. He will sneak in his room... Pee on the floor && come to me && say 'PP' wanting to go to the potty after hes already pee'd. This has went on for months.

My husband (when he is home) for 14 days is ZERO help at all. He watches him. Thats it. My son gets NO discipline from him unless I make him. I have to tell him (in front of my son) "Jeremy you need to get on to him for that". When I talk to him & tell him this he says things like 'Whatever' or 'I do discipline him'. Even pediatritions have told my husband we need to have a solide consistant set of rules.

I guess I'm asking is there a way to help my son transition the 14-14 work schedule of my husbands? Is there a way I can give an example to my husband to make him see my son is confused & out of control && needs his participation? Is it too early to potty train just yet because he isnt having it at ALL. Is there ANY advice whatso ever to stop these power struggles && relax my anger?
Thank you all so much for your replies in advance!!!

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Lia - posted on 04/29/2015

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It sounds to me that you guys can go to family counseling. Your kid is trying to tell you something with his behavior. He feels your stress and your husband stress and the marriage stress. I have been there and it helps when there's a third person who will not favorite an opinion to help you understand the root of the issue. Believe me it helps.

I advise you to think like a two year old for a second. Be your son for a day. What he sees, what he hears, what is his happiness or sadness every day? He is a person who needs respect and love and have no idea what adults want or why they want him to do something. Love him, talk to him calm, research ways to reward him or motivate him. The kids wont follow orders if the adults are not consistent and that is not only with potty training. They grow to see your example and when they are older they wont listen if you guys do not practice consequence after action constant. Also take time for yourself even if is just to watch a show for an hour by yourself. We can't be good mother if we are always stress when we talk to the kids, it affects them.

I use to have an alarm so my kid knew when we had to go to the potty and I took some of his toys away, clean them, fix them nice.. they look like new and align them somewhere visible but not reachable and every time he went to the potty he won a toy (his own toys).

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