quick questions for stay at home mommys

Wendy - posted on 11/08/2010 ( 131 moms have responded )

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First off I'm a stay at home mom or two with one due in march I love my kiddos vary much and i want whats best for them and me being there primary caregiver is the best in our family. My questions are do anyone of you other stay at home moms feel like you lose motivation to clean the house or like maybe that's all you do. My other question is do any of you feel like maybe you husband our life partner that works outside of the home just dosent understand that you need to be away from the home once in a while with out kids.
Thank you for taking you time to read this

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Erin - posted on 11/08/2010

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Hi, I have 2, 5 and 15 months. Motivation to clean has always been an issue for me. I posted a similar post the other week on this subject. The best responses I got were
1. I am a Stay at Home Mom, not a Stay at Home MAID.
2. My house is clean enough to be healthy and dirty enough to be happy.
Best advice I got. My husband helps out which I do really apprieciate, but then I almost feel bad for him doing it. He like to though, but there are days when he gets home too and just leaves everything everywhere. Drives me nuts.Picking up after my own children and the children I babysitt part time is enough, then to pick up after a grown man can just throw me into a really bad mood. Good luck!

Sally - posted on 09/20/2013

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Actually, I'm more motivated to clean the house now because I don't want the kids picking up something yucky, I want them to learn to clean, and I'm home to actually do it.
If he's never done it, your husband cannot possibly understand what your life is like. It can be a very big problem for SAHMs because if you worked before having kids, you understand what his day was like, but he can't begin to understand yours. Some partners will get it if you tell them and some will get it if you show them, but those are very rare. Often, if you want him to understand. you have to actually leave him with the kids for 8-10 hours and be unavailable during that time. When he complains about how hard it was, remind him that he expects you to do it 24/7 for years without a break.

Melysa - posted on 11/21/2010

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i thought the feeling of constantly having to do the same mundane tasks was part of being a sahm you have to wash up 3-5 times a day washing i do 3 - 6 loads a day vacuum sweep pick up toys(like a thousand times a day) cook and clean cook and clean it is a constant cycle and when they get home it still looks like you have sat on your backside all day watching tv! i have however found a small solution to the overwhelming feeling of a mothers list of daily chores, pick one day a week where chores are not allowed(except maybe the dishes and cooking dinner) and for the other 6 days select a 1-2 hour window to do your chores if you spend the rest of the day on picnics in the back yard with the kids or playing with the blocks or cars or what ever you actually find it a lot easier and a lot cleaner they have had their time with mummy the most important thing to them anyway, so when you do get that hour or 2 to clean they don't feel the urge to come around after you destroying everything you just cleaned/put away, makes for a happier mum and a happy mum means happy dad and happy children!

Dena - posted on 11/21/2010

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I lose motovation to clean all the time. I feel like when I clean the house, it gets destroyed in two seconds, my husband works in the oilfield so it is not a shock if he works up to 90 hours a week, but before he had this job he did not do ANYTHING around the house, I have always done the yard work and the house work and tended to the kiddos, sometimes I need a break for myself, I feel very overwhelmed sometimes, when my husband has a "day off" thats exactly what it is, is a day off, I have ask him before "when is my day off" LOL, moms dont get "days off" we are constatley working all the time even when all the kids are asleep we are still working weather it be picking up stuff, doing dishes, or working out stuff in our minds:)) Dont get me wrong I love being a mom and a wife, but like any job you do need a "day off":)))))

Lydia - posted on 11/18/2010

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I think there should be parenting classes especially for fathers where they give them a good brainwash and teach them to help out! why in the world do men think they need a break after work and don't want to take care of the kids because they bother them but think that a mom who is all day long non stop surrounded by kids doesn't need a break. I don't get why it's even a question... Oh yeah and stupidest comment ever "mom gets to do what she wants all day long" HAHA Yes I do want to be a mom and I do love it. But no, I do not WANT to clean poo, I do not WANT to watch baby TV, I do not WANT to clean and do laundry. I do it because I HAVE to and it comes in the package with being a SAHM.

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Lillian - posted on 09/22/2013

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Hey I'm 32 I have 8 childeren for boys and four girls I'm a full time sham and all I do is clean cook do lundery. My husbend gos to school works and he's a football player
I want to go back to shcool but my husbend don't want our youngest kids in day care
He thinks I should gust be a sham and sometimes I gust want to pull my hair out cuse I gust need some me time and bye the time the day is done all the kids ar in bed its like 9-10 at night and then I get a little time for me keep ur head up saty strong and be u :)

Julie A - posted on 09/21/2013

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Men! Yes, a mothers work is NEVER done ! Get used to it ;) working out(I have double jogging stroller) and having a productive routine gets me through. Also, taking vitamins, eating right and taking care of myself is KEY!

Kayla - posted on 03/05/2013

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So glad to read that I'm not alone in this! Lol-- aside from lack of motivation, I Also run out of ideas to keep my busy 4 year old boy entertained. I feel like I'm a waste and like I'm not going any where in my life haha but for now it's more affordable for me to be home and most days I enjoy being home with my boy :)
I do find it challenging when the weather sucks- regardless of my rambling, it's very encouraging to know that I'm not alone LOL

Suzanne - posted on 11/20/2010

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I am not a neat freak, and having twins that are now 2 does not help. Wish I was more inclined to have all things in the rightful place and neat and tidy. Not dirty just a bit messy. Also does not help when we are in a small house with no storage.

I feel that there are so many better things to do other than housework. Currently I am doing a Post grad degree in Project Management, attempting to launch an online business but need to find time to make the product, and have successfully gained a work from home job. So I feel that one day I might be able to have a cleaner maybe come once a fortnight to do the major things, kitchen, bathroom, floors, vaccuming and dusting. This has not happened yet as it is early days and not earning much at all, but I live in hope.

Currently I need to clean up as my mum is going to come and stay and we are having renovations done, so need the house to be in some sort of order. At least these times gives me a deadline to work towards to have the house in order and will try and maintain it for longer than usual.

I just find it incredible that most men and my husband as well unless I say that I really need his help, does help. It is his home as well and with just a little help will remain ship shape. I don't think that just due to the fact that I now stay at home with the twins and am not working that everything is my responsiblity. When I had a full time job I still did all the same things without the help. Now I am doing the kids and a lot more and still not getting help so maybe the sexism is still there. Maybe if I had a penis too that I would not have to housework and be able to sit on my bum and do important things on the computer or watch tv.

I agree with the time out with the kids, it really never happens. We only did something recently, went to see Robin Williams and it was a great night. Hired a babysitter and had dinner and a show it was a wonderful night. Felt great. Just a pity that they are so few and hard to do, expensive as well.

It is hard and as my husband earns more than i do I think the value of what I and many others do as stay at home mums is not seen or valued. If I were to become ill and not be able to care for the kids, house and stuff, I think he would be in a bit of a state. Finding a replacement to do everything would be expensive to say the least.

More appreciation and thanks would be something and a start. Even just a housekeeper once a fortnight, or a night out, or just a thankyou dinner that he cooked would be nice. Does not need to be expensive.

Oh well, he did help clean part of the house today, however a good mate dropped in and we ended up having drinks with him. So cannot say that he was not helping, but most of the time I get it is my job not his. Not very helpful.

Heidi - posted on 11/18/2010

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I am a stay at home mom of a 2 y/o boy and a 14 m/o boy. If my man didn’t understand why I needed time out and time for myself, or if he felt he needed an explanation why, well he wouldn’t be my man anymore.

Verity - posted on 11/18/2010

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i know what you mean! my partner gets crabby if he gets home from work and the house isnt clean, men dont understand that taking care of children is a full-time job in itself n yeah i feel that cleaning is all i ever do sometimes, i hate being in the house all day doing nothing even if i jst go to the park 4 a couple of hrs its better than being at home 4 me, im pregnant and have a 2 yr old and am also due in march whilst studying cert 3 in childcare so i have a lot on my plate as well.

Berjoh - posted on 11/18/2010

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Yes I do have those days where I don't want to do anything. My one and only daughter is going through a spell where she wants mommy all the time and not daddy. It frustrates me sometime, but I just chalk it up and do what I have to. But when I do want to get out the house its always a question of why and I get so mad and I don't think he understands or doesn't want to.

Gina - posted on 11/18/2010

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This is so my problem right now! I have OCD so I am constantly cleaning, organizing, re arranging things etc. However, lately I am to the point where I ask myself "why even bother, it'll be dirty and unorganized in less than 10 min anyways." But then when I dont, I start getting anxious, and I feel quilty than my hubby is at work and I didnt even clean the house, and I end up cleaning it anyways. But its an all day everyday thing. By bedtime I am exhausted mentally and emotionally.

Liz - posted on 11/18/2010

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I completely know what you're going through. I feel like that sometimes too. I'm a stay at home mommy to a set of two year old b/g twins and a four month old son.

Brandi Nicole - posted on 11/18/2010

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I'm also a mom of 2 with a new one due in march I will have 3 kids under 5 WTF was I thinking! anyway I lose motivation pretty soon after I wake up. I'm aslo a stay at home mom and I feel my husband doesn't understand what I go through, he always tells me "you get to do what ever you want to" yes maybe I do get to go to the zoo or story time etc. but I also have to do everything else with a 3 and 2 year old. I never get a break I have house work and tons of laundry and when he is off he is "off" and feels he shouldn't have to help with the kids. It make me crazy! But I wouldn't trade it. I feel your pain and all I can say is hang in there.

Tracy - posted on 11/18/2010

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I am by far not a neat freak and lose motivation to clean all the time! I'm actually being induced tomorrow with baby #2 so for a while I have been on a cleaning frenzy. This week I am just so tired and don't feel like doing a thing. My house is not dirty and I always try to keep up with vacuuming and what not, but the clutter can get to be an issue for me. My husband doesn't help out a whole lot with the house work, but he works 10 hours a day and commutes for about 3 hours. So I don't really expect him to do much when he gets home. His job then is to play with our 2 year old and keep him out of my hair. I do expect he clean up after himself, I am not his maid! And if he has any complaints about my housekeeping, then I simply show him where I keep all my cleaning supplies :)
As far as getting out of the house...In the beginning it was a huge struggle. He didn't see why I needed a break, I don't work, right??? WRONG! I would go out anyhow because I knew that I needed time away and that would make me a better mommy and wife and then just deal with the fighting when I got home. He finally realized that while I don't go out to work, I do work a lot! While I don't go out much, I do take time to go out with friends every once in a while, just to be a silly girl. I also make sure that I find sitters now and again so that my hubby and I can go on a date. Maybe find a sitter and plan a surprise date for just the two of you or go out with another couple. Include him in a night out (if you can) so he knows that you just need a break from the kids. Then maybe he'll understand in the future when you want to go out with just the girls. Good luck!

Sarah - posted on 11/18/2010

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YES. YES. YES!!! I'm actually going through this right now and it took a special experience to change my mindset. Of course you love your kids, but adult interaction is always a necessity!
I think its difficult for the significant other to understand that once they get home from work, they LEAVE their work at the office! Us moms... well our work is never finished. Literally! So you could approach it in a business manner: I don't get lunch breaks, alone time, etc. and I need that! Maybe that will help him understand a bit more. And remember, you can't complain if he comes home to a thrashed house (out of control), because this is our job! If he's not doing his then we can't complain if we aren't doing ours. Does that make sense? I totally get it; I have a 4yo, 2yo, and 9mo. The house is never clean!!! But I try to keep on top of stuff and that's what matters

Cat - posted on 11/18/2010

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I never have the motivation to clean ever! LOL Especially when I worked outside the home. But if I don't do it, it never gets done, so I have to force myself. I get the kids to help and reward them if they do (not for their rooms though, because it's their responsibility).

As far as my husband, I always talk to him and tell him about my day no matter how busy or boring it may be, so he always understands.

I think it's really important for SAHMs to have a life outside the home - hobbies, friends etc. As a SAHM, it's so easy to become a hermit and lose yourself. A happier mom is a better mom and should have experiences to share with her family other than what was on TV that day or what cleaning she did. I have a playgroup with a group of moms and kids and once a month we have a "Mom's Only" date where we leave the kids with the dads and us moms go out to a movie and lunch, or go to someone's house to play cards or something. It's so great to get together with other moms for fun and also have friends who you have the "mom thing" in common with. :)

Christi - posted on 11/18/2010

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LOL! Are you kidding!? I have a 3, 2 and 8 month old, all girls and I can't believe how much less I clean house but fee like I work all day long non-stop. Sometimes I just say "That___ is not getting done today" and just do crafts with my girls all day long.
When I was pregnant with #3 I had a 2 year old and 1 year old and 3 months later gave birth again. My husband sometimes gets offended when I take them to my parents or inlaws when I need to run into town. He thinks I am just kicking them to the curb and says I should WANT to take them out. Point he doesn't get is I NEED some time alone too. And he gets a 30 min drive to and from work, plus he works when hardly anyone else is there on 2nd shift! So he gets alone time.
He is learning that but I have to do it slowly.
Don't ever feel bad for taking a nap or playing with the kids all day and mopping the floor later :)

Megan - posted on 11/18/2010

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Wendy I totally understand how you feel! I love being home with my kids they are my everything and 4 years ago when our youngest was born I stayed home as long as i could and then it hit me that I needed a little bit more so I went out and got a job at night waitressing not exactly what I always wanted to be but there was something about knowing i was getting out and my kids were home safe with their dad. It also gives my husband a chance to see that I do a lot all day and he really started to appreciate me more! Granted I go to work at 5 when he gets home and Im home usually by 10 so the kids go to bed at 8! Im home a lot longer with them but still I feel good making extra money and getting out and he gets quality time with the kids too!! Now I am pregnant (on bedrest sigh...) and I know I would love to stay home all the time but I have to go back to work for my own sanity! As much as I love my children and wouldnt trade my quality time I have with them every day all day I know for me its important to get out whether thats grocery shopping alone, walking to a neighbors house for a chat alone, or working a few nights a week we all need that break! I hope this helps just remember your not the only one that feels this way!!!! We ALL get sick of cleaning all day every day!!!

Alison - posted on 11/18/2010

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yes on some day's i dont have the motivation to clean i feel like its a never ending job just to keep the house cleaned lol but and my boyfriend he is the one who works and yea i let him know that its my time to get out and do something but on the other hand he doesnt know how hard are days are we stay home clean house when we can and take care of little ones they think they have it easy but truth be told we have it harder

Shemeka - posted on 11/18/2010

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I have stayed home with my two children for about 3 years now, and yes you are right, you do get tried of cleaning because it is a constant thing,remember it is ok just to straighten up a couple days a week and deep clean the others. you also do need a break once a week , a chance to relax and miss the kids. Men don't usually understand, let him keep the children when you take your break and then he will be a little more understanding.

Charity - posted on 11/17/2010

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Oh and did i mention that my husband don't drive and he works at the casino which is almost an hour away so from 12:30 a.m. - 2:30 am or 3 im picking him up from work and my 2 yr old wakes up at 6 or 7

Charity - posted on 11/17/2010

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Yes. I feel the same way. I have a two yr old and 1 one on the way. Somethings im so tired at the end of the day all i want is peace and quiet but by the time i sit down i get sleepy and right back up in a few hours. It like we're always on the move and there's no time for slowing down or something won't get done.

Jessica - posted on 11/17/2010

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Omg yes i get lazy cleaning my house only because i clean it and it is back to the way it was the next day floor especally. And my partner doesnt know what it is like to be a stay at home mother sometimes i say to him do u want to swap and he says yes straight away and i laugh at it couse he just doesnt realise it isnt as easy as it looks and i tell him that, and he thinks it would be easy hahaha. One day i will swap with him just so he knows what it is like as he doesnt see all the temper tanties she throws through the day.

Karen - posted on 11/17/2010

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I'm a sahm of 3 kids. They are 4,6, & 8. All of them are in school. I still lack motivation to do anything. When they are home they don't do any thing. I think by 8.5 and almost 7 and almost 5 that they should be able to clean up after themselves. My husband is not encouraging or supportive in anything. After more than 11 years of marriage I tired of being a maid.

I have a license but I don't have a car. So therefore I don't drive. So I'm stuck home alot. It sucks sometimes. Sometimes I get the impression that my husbands likes me being stuck at home all the time.

Maria - posted on 11/17/2010

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btw, my personal experience, 2 is the best number to have kids i think, and 3 - well, is a BIG jump from 2... get yourself prepared for total chaos! (sorry, don't mean to scare you or anything)

Maria - posted on 11/17/2010

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yes, i understand how you feel as i am going thru the same things/feelings... i clean all the time, my husband thinks i am addicted to the vaccum cleaner :o)

Amy - posted on 11/17/2010

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I lose motivation to clean the house, and I have no license so I just stay home. My hubby is in school or doing homework so I hardly ever get out. I know he doesn't understand what it's like to be home with the boys almost 24/7. He can go and do what he wants when he wants. Most of the time we go with him, but it's not by myself.

TRUDY - posted on 11/17/2010

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Hi there,i totally see where you're coming from,I just wanted to run away from my messy house today after school run as i just couldn't bear the thought never mind the energy of tidying up for the 3rd time in the day,the saying 'tied to the kitchen sink' actually sprung to my mind this morning.I think all us stay at home mums feel the same often!! The men just don't know what it's like as they just breeze in and out,don't they!! We really have to stand our ground for our sanity and get into the habit of getting out without kids,time to ourselves is really precious for a healthy state of mind!! so if you have something on a couple of times a week ie walk with a friend,a class and stick to days and times,your husband/partner will soon get used to it,you need it!!good luck

Toni - posted on 11/17/2010

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I have three children also. My youngest was born in march 2010. I also have a 7yr old and 4yr old. All boys. I, too, lose motivation. I feel like everytime I finish one thing, look back at what I done right before, and the boys have already destroyed it. It is very frustrating. And for your own sanity, you do need time away WITHOUT the kids. If your significant other loves and respects you, he will oblige. We had a few very long and rough years here, because I was never ever without at least 1 child. I love my children very much, but needed a break that I wasn't getting. I finally told my husband about it, and we worked something out. It doesn't happen often, but that is alright. As long as it happens when I NEED it. I hope that you get some time to yourself.

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I have been home with our youngest one for 4 years now. Before her I always worked, even with our first child who is 13 almost 14. I know exactly what you mean, because I also watch other children in our home. So I do literally clean my house 24/7. It totally sucks and I have found that I do not and cannot really seperate home life from my work. I do two things to get myself out every now and then. I do parties with Gold Canyon Candles and It Works! So basically I run 3 businesses. Hang in there, my husband is the same way and has learned that sometimes he needs to help out or the house starts looking like crap, because I go on strike....lol. Unfortunately, your husband will figure out that he still has to help and give you your time, because that is something that we all need. And maybe you should just ask him and explain that you need time to yourself.

Rachel - posted on 11/17/2010

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A stay at home mom I am, but not by choice. My son has refused a bottle and now a sippy cup and is a terrible eater and while at daycare refused to eat all together. When at home all day I clean, but only as much as I need to. somedays more than others. My husband is a full time students and works part time and I know he knows I need a break, but cant always give it tome. You are not alone as you'll notice from all the other moms posting, advice is much easier given than taken. Take a deep breathe, tryto log off the computer, and get down on those hands and knees and play with the kids

Alice - posted on 11/17/2010

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Wow! I love my kids too (I have 4) and I occasionally babysit / tutor too (I homeschool my oldest & my two youngest sisters). Cleaning is always on the "back burner" for me. My house is neat, but I don't use a white glove test anywhere... my house would probably fail that lol! Cleaning is easy... it takes about an hour for my girls and I to clean the whole house... problem is, it takes the kids about 10 minutes to wreck it again lol! So I clean at night in the 30 minutes or so after the three youngest go to bed (my oldest has just started "earning" 30 minutes of extra "stay-up" time by helping me do the nightly clean. So, usually we conquer the house cleaning in about 20-30 mintues and then she can have 30 minutes beading, crafting, or playing a game before bed (her fav is boggle with me, something that's tough when the others are awake).
My husband used to be a bit naggy about cleaning... but then for 17months before I found my work-from-home job we both worked in switching shifts (couldn't afford daycare) so after the first 3 days of that, he never complains about the house being dirty!! lol! His priorities when he was home were safety & health of the kids instead of clean the house (as it should be) and when he could never keep the house clean (I always came home to a trashy mess) he quit his "well if I were at home... (whatever) would be spotless" boasts!! :) I hated being away from home, but LOVED the growth in my husband from those 17months of him being "Mr. Mom" for half the day! :)
I don't need to go out (I never have) but I do undestand that some do, so I try to help them by offering to watch their kiddos for them (even if all they want is an hour to clean the house & take a shower) lol!

Michelle - posted on 11/16/2010

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I sometimes feel lazy to clean the house but I make it sure that I accomplish something that makes me feel good later. Like spending more time with my daughter, cooking, rearranging stuff, grocery shopping and etc. My husband doesn't care if I don't clean the house as long as I can relax and spend time with our daughter so I'm lucky on that part. But there are times when I get mad and needs to go out with friends or invite friends over for dinner and chitchats. I'm sure it's the hormones that made me do that and my husband is already aware of it coz my practitioner and my daughters pediatrician mentioned it to him. So almost every week I go out with friends for dinner once a week. It's nice to know that my friends husbands also agreed that we need to go out sometimes. I become a happy wife and mom after spending time with friends. It's just very relaxing and I miss my husband and daughter when I'm with my friends. It's not always happy and sweet but I make it sure to let my husband know if I need my ME time to relax and be away with them for a while. :)

Shirena - posted on 11/16/2010

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I totally know how you feel. It seems all I ever do is cook and clean and drive the kids around. And I clean the same messes over and over and over and over.... it gets old fast.
My husband works ungodly hours as a paramedic. For example, he works 24 hour shifts, he worked friday and someone called in sick on saturday so he stayed and was on the schedule for sunday so, he worked for 72 hours straight. During that time our son was sick so I was completely secluded to the house by myself with no one to talk to but the kids. When he finally got home he wanted down time and I wanted out of the house without kids. Needless to say, since I'm the mommy, I didn't get it. It's rough, you are not alone. If it weren't for the support of other moms I would go completely nutso!

A - posted on 11/16/2010

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First off- yes I find it terribly hard to stay motivated to do the housework somedays. Honestly, I really want to do the housework but my son is so needy its hard to get things done. And then when we've finally had a good day I just want to relax and enjoy it.

My husband is very understanding of my needs to get out of the house sometimes. All I have to say is "I'm getting cabin fever" and he'll offer to let me go shopping or all of us go do something together (since we don't see a lot of each other since he works 2 jobs). Usually its just something simple like going to walmart to look around or walk to the bank (we live in a small town) but its amazing what going to walmart can do for you when you've been stuck inside the house all week. My husband is very understanding but sometimes its hard on me because I may want to get out but since he works all the time I sometimes feel like I shouldn't do anything because he should just be able to relax (but he likes to do things together so and he's very selfless so I usually win). lol

Stephanie - posted on 11/16/2010

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Oh girl I am so with you!! Haha!! I feel like all that quite often, you are not alone :)

Annette - posted on 11/16/2010

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I'm sorry were you in my head when you wrote this:) LOL I too am a stay at home mom and when I only had the 2 and the third on the way much like you I felt that I was so overwhelmed that I didnt know where to start so the motivation was not there and til this day I am still not always motivated to do house work but it needs done so I do what absolutely needs done ... Clothes dishes etc. And yes I too was one hat didnt get out much but I then put my foot down and told my hubby if you want a happy mommy and or wife I have to get out once in a while and do something for me . It is not wrong to want some ME time. So go for it that also gives them daddy time alone with the kidoswithout us telling them they are doing it wrong :) Hope this helps???

Traci - posted on 11/16/2010

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I know exactly how you feel. After changing diapers and breastfeeding, when it is time for my son's nap, I find it very hard to keep up with the laundry and the cleaning. My energy is low, but I feel like since I do stay at home all day, I should be cleaning up the house a bit as well (since they are my dirty dishes in the sink, etc. etc.) My husband helps out when he gets home sometimes too -- he sometimes cleans the kitchen or make dinner. It is really helpful. I sometimes feel like when I clean up, the next day it gets to be a mess again. My husband is pretty understanding when it comes to my need to get away. He lets me go out for a run a few times a week or just hop to the grocery store when we need some things. My family is also really helpful. My parents watch Skylar one night each week, so that my husband and I can do whatever we want (catch up on cleaning, go for a hike, have dinner, etc.)

Tracy - posted on 11/16/2010

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I know how you feel! You HAVE to find things that you do just for you...working out, spending 1 night a week with friends...SOMETHING, just so you don't lose who YOU are.

Kristianne - posted on 11/16/2010

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most days i feel that is all i do is clean and as far as the hubby thing dont get me started there he feels like since i do not work i should have nothing to complain about but i do get sick of being in the house all day long with kids i do take them to do things but it is still always for the kids

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Absolutey feel that way. With one kid, I could keep the house clean and work full time. With 2 kids, and not working, I can't keep it clean, and I'm also due #3 in march. My husband thinks all I do is sit around and twiddle my thumbs all day. I also homeschool my oldest daughter, and run countless errands for everyone else b/c 'you don't do anything during the day.' I don't cook very much though, is where I let things slide. My kids eat yogurt or cereal for breakfast, and leftovers for lunch. I've been cooking more here lately, though, b/c I've been craving food that my hubby won't cook- his idea of cooking is frozen pizza or going out, so....
One of my good friends doesn't clean unless she said 'it gets ridiculus to walk thru that room'- her kids are 3 & 10 mos. It does just get dirty again, but I'm a neat freak and can't take it. You're normal. Doesn't make it easier, but normal :-)

Nicole - posted on 11/16/2010

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Some days I have to look back and be like... what did I actually do today. Then I realize I changed 8 diapers and fed the baby 5 times and tried to get her to nap and this and that. A lot of times I feel my husband doesn't understand that. He is a pilot so he is gone A LOT and never gets a day alone with her so he ALWAYS has a second person there so he doesn't get it. My baby is only 5 months old and from what I've been told or seen, they never understand. When I tell mine I need a break... he tells me he does too. I'm like ARGH. I feel ya fully!

Michelle - posted on 11/16/2010

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def.... I do what I gotta do ..but feel that I wake up and do the same thing everyday:) Try to get a social circle of moms for you tomeet with to have playdates:) .. As for the hubby.. its hard.. I have my days.. But I have to stop and think.. how hard is for hiim to have to be aaway from the family all day.. worry about bringing in the salary!! I try and say thank you to my husband as often as possible.. and he thanks me as well!! having that appreciation boost your motiviation!

Candyce - posted on 11/16/2010

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Yes and yes, lol. I've already resigned myself to the fact that dh isn't going to understand a thing about it, nor is he going to realize exactly how much I do around here. I hate cleaning, and there are days when I'm so fed up with it all, I just refuse to do any more than the minumum required. I need a smoke now, lol.

Blessed Be

Wendy - posted on 11/16/2010

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I usually try to go to the mall with the kids or play places. There are other moms that feel that way, so if you are begging for adult conversation or just to socialize...Go out and talk to other moms that are around. Some can be rude, but there is always more than enough SAHM that feel the same way. I have met some of my best friends at places like that....and exchanged numbers and I have adult interactions and my kids will play with thier kid. I know it is not easy....It does take time....but it will get better. Esp if you sign your kids up for sports or other activities. You will meet other mom that way too.

Tracy - posted on 11/16/2010

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I have to clean the house today and instead I am reading this ;) Everyone needs a break sometimes, something else to focus on. That's why I started a blog too - it's my outlet. Chcek it out at: www.havingfunsaving.blogspot.com - It's all about saving $, there's deals for everyone in the family!

Aline - posted on 11/16/2010

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I always have no motivation to clean the house but I have to do it..Otherwise no one will do for me! My husband helps me very much but i feel like it's not his obligation. He provide us the money to buy what we need and I provide the house organized at least.
About the other question, he understands that I need to be away from home sometimes, he often takes me out but we always take our little girl with us..I feel that I'm not prepared to leave her with someone else..

Diane - posted on 11/16/2010

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Hi Wendy: many times throughout each day I lose that motivation still I make myself do it because the clutter stresses me out..my sensory moment. Also my husband says he understands, and maybe on some level he does..yet my question is "if he hasn't really spent days in and out and then at times nights too with the kiddos "how can he truely understand the depth of it all"..and when I need to get out then if he truely understand then there shouldn't be an issue about me questioning that..he just needs to say..I'll hole the door for you and kiss me goodbye. :)

Teri - posted on 11/16/2010

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oh gosh, I totally understand. don't know how old your kids are, but I find that with two 4 yr olds and a 2 yr old the messes have gotten worse and harder to clean.

I have a sitter during the week, it's so worth it. just know that expenses early on are not for ever... but they do wonders for your sanity. If I was with my kdis every day, I'd be a basket case!

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