Raising grandkids

Sunsine - posted on 04/26/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Please help me I have my granddaughter shes 14 mons now Ive had her sence she was 4 mons my son and his girl friend wont do what they have to do to get the baby back Well Im 60 and my husband is 65 we dont know what to do to get them to get the baby back. Please advice me, I dont want to send her to foster care but what else can I do?

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Ashley - posted on 04/29/2010

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I'm sorry I have no advice to offer, just a kudos. I've seen first hadn how hard it can be to balance being a grandparents while acting as a parent. My mother has helped my sister raise her 3 children and my aunt took custody of her daughters children. It was and still is hard to watch the stress involved because you figure that you've given so much of yourself to your children that now should be your time to yourself and it's not. I think what you and your husband (as many other grandparents have done) is harder than being a parent and while I can't help you decide what's right for your family I can say that I have the utmost respect for you and what you are doing and giving up to give that beautiful little girl a stable and loving enviornment. If I knew you, I would hug you. =] Good luck and I hope that everything works out wonderfully for you and your family.

Louise - posted on 04/29/2010

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It sounds to me that your son is not interested in the child at all do you reall want him to take on full care of her if this is his attitude. If you can not cope then it seems like your only option is to let the child go to be adopted. She will then be adopted by parents who want her and who want to look after her. I knowhow tiring it is to look after a child full time. My mother in law raised two children at your age after there mother died and it is only now that she is 74 that she has any time to herself. The eldest child is in uni and unfortuantely the teenage girl had gone into full time foster care because she was just to much for my poor mother in law to handle. This has been a blesing actually as my mother in law has a great realtionship with the girl now and they spend a lot of quality time together but without the every day stress that a teenager has. My opinion is contact your local government and see where you stand and make a decision from there.

Gina - posted on 04/28/2010

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I'm not sure there is much that you can do about makeing your son man up and be the dad. But at least that precious baby girl has Grama and Grampa to look after her for the time being.
My question is what made you and your husband get custody of your g-daughter in the first place? Like Renee said, advise a lawyer about your situation and if at all possible,ask a responsable,younger family member to be the adoptive family for her. That way you can go back to being the g-parents and not the full time parents.(If it comes to that point) GOOD LUCK TO YOU BOTH and GOD BLESS YOU for taking on this responsability.

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From how you are mentioning the parents, it sounds like she is better off not in their care. Many young parents that do keep the child but don't put effort into raising them, they only basicly make sure the child doesn't die, other than that they don't behave like parents. I have a nephew that has a learning disorder from being ignored so much, that he is now behind in his development. And all his parents can talk about is getting away from him and going some where. You should contact a lawyer and find out what needs to be done to put her into a loving home that can take care of her. It can be an open adoption to maintain a relationship with you, but unless I have misunderstood your son and his girlfriend they don't seem fit to be parents right now.

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