Really Bad Terrible 2's

Kelly - posted on 06/28/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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So my daughter is 2 1/2 years old and boy does she drive me insane. She is very smart and picks up on everything. One day i was at my Grandparents and she was in the other room and I told the dog to "shut up" and she heard me and now she tells me to shut up all the time. Ive told her that was a no no word and ive put her in time out and i have spanked her bottom but none of that seems to help. She just yells and screams at me and puts her hands on her hips and gets into it. She hits me and kicks. She is always crying fake and real its like shes never happy. I am guilty for yelling from time to time but only when I just couldnt take it anymore but even that hasnt helped. When I put her in time out she acts like the world is ending. I just dont know what to do anymore. Advise please. Should I talk to her doctor about this?

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Nadia - posted on 06/29/2011

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i agree with the other ladies too. time-outs are great! i put my 5yr old facing a wall, with her hands on the wall. and if she starts talking/fidgeting i start over. i went through a lot of disipline methods too and found this the most effective. when i yelled and got angry, it just fuels her completely sassy attitude... just stay calm (i know you want to tear your hair out lol!) and speak quietly to her. My hubby has yet to master this.... he can't understand why our daughter will listen to me (well 9 times out of 10 anyway) when i threaten or count to 3 or just ask her to go wash up before dinner. she rarely listens to him and it's because he doesn't have the patience i have... if she starts to get sassy, he gets upset right away and speaks very sternly to her, thinking that he's showing her authority and she'll listen. but as i say, you catch more bees with honey. so patience! and just be consistant.... if my daughter starts acting out she gets one warning (when she was younger i gave her 3) and then a time out, and i also explain at the end of the time out why she got one and why it makes mommy upset when she acts like that. good luck! oh and pick your battles! sometimes a stomping screaming fit over wearing a skirt vs. pants (or whatever else) is just not worth the attention!

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Leonie - posted on 06/28/2011

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I'm with both ladies on this one. Time out works wonders! Pick a boring corner of the room to sit them in when they're naughty. You're only supposed to leave them in there for the amount of time that they are in age so 2 mins for your daughter would suffice. If she leaves, like Katherine said, no eye contact or talk and put her back. Eventually she will learn that she must stay there until you say it's ok to go.
Also talking calmly instead of raising your voice will help. Kids tend to respond better to calm talk rather than aggressive which makes sense as we also prefer it. I know this because I started to yell quite a bit because I wasn't being listened to but oneday I lost my voice lol. I could only managed a very quiet, almost whisper and they were perfect angels that whole time!
And yeah with any swear words you're better off ignoring them. If you don't show any response to it then she will stop saying it as it's more an attention thing than anything else. Goodluck! :)

Sarah - posted on 06/28/2011

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It is very common for kids this age to start testing their limits ten times as hard as they ever have before. The key, as with anything else involving children, is patience and consistency. I don't support spanking, but whatever you choose to discipline your child, you must follow through. I do the same as Katherine, below. I put my kids in time out for one minute per year of their age. The time starts over if they get up, but I do not reward them with conversation. They get out of time out, I put them back in. The first week you implement this, expect her to fight back with everything she has. It can take an hour or more before she stays. But the calmer and firmer you are, the quicker it will go. After that week, she will begin to truly understand that she is to stay, and you will not give in. My kids are now 4, 2 1/2, and 16 months. The older two rarely fight time-out, and though the youngest doesn't get time outs yet (2 is really the youngest it is effective for) she understands what it is about and will try to put the boys back in when they get up! lol. Just remember, losing your temper and patience, while natural, is also counter-productive to your cause. Behave in the way you want your children to imitate. If you yell, scream, hit, and slam things around, you can expect them to do the same. If you stay composed, use kind words, and express your wants and expectations calmly, they will learn that this is the way to behave. And don't be afraid to ask for help when you find yourself run ragged. If you have a parent, in-law, girlfriend, or just a babysitter available, give yourself some time to unwind! I know I am much more likely to snap if I've been home alone with the kids for a week without time to shower, nap, or just sit and do nothing for a minute!

Katherine - posted on 06/28/2011

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My daughter is the same age. When she does these things you need to ignore them. You are just reinforcing the behavior by reacting to it.

Like when she says, "Shut up." Ignore her. When she hits and kicks you, walk away. Don't resort to spanking either because that's just out of anger and frustration.

My daughter throws tantrums a lot and I just walk away and she stops. I count to 3 and she listens. I put her in time out and if she gets up I just keep putting her back without saying a word or making eye contact.

She is sassy and I ignore it. They are only 2 and testing their limits. At this age they aren't exactly going to listen too well.

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