Really need any tips from SAHM moms with 2+ kids close in age...

Amy - posted on 05/08/2012 ( 9 moms have responded )

12

4

0

I just found I'm 8 weeks along, and my baby is barely 8 months old. I also have a 7 year old that has Autism and have had both my pregnancies be pretty rough and nauseating so far.
Needless to say I'm struggling to not feel overwhelmed about how to survive the pregnancy let alone having a newborn, 18 month old and older child with special needs as well.
I would really appreciate any feedback and tips on how you survived and what you learned to make things easier.
Thanks, much appreciated! :)

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Kate - posted on 05/10/2012

17

16

2

When my daughter was born my boys were 14 months old and my autistic son was 3 1/2. While I was pregnant with her I became a single mom living alone for the first time. It was overwhelming. What I learned was , first and foremost, to breathe ! :)
I staggered bath-then- bed times so that I had at least a few minutes alone with each child at the end of the day, I did laundry while watching a movie when the kids were in bed, I took 10 minutes twice a day to have a HOT cup of tea and tuned out the noise and mess, and I also came to grips with the fact that my house was going to be far from Martha Stewart until the kids were older. They are now 6,7 and 9 and all three are special needs. We have a basic daily routine which I hung up with pictures on the wall so all of them know whats coming next ( meals, night stories, bedtime, etc). I also labeled the kids dresser drawers with pictures and words so that even my autistic boy can feel like a big boy and put away his clean clothes.Each child has a hamper of their own so I can wash them separately then I don't have to figure out what belongs to who.
I do a 5 minutes clean up right after they go to bed. I don't get it all done but it's sure easier to face in the morning! Functional storage, labels and phoning my best friend when I needed to saved my sanity lol
There are days that just fall apart and it happens. Just look at your babies after they go to sleep for the night and you'll remember why everything really WILL be ok.You don't have to be supermom to be a super mom !

Stifler's - posted on 05/09/2012

15,141

154

604

my kids are 16 months part. i just made sure they napped at the same time so i could mop/have a rest while they were asleep. with having an older child this would be a great time to spend time/give extra attention to them. i just wrote a list of everything that needed to be done and did 2 or 3 of the things a day like changing beds or cleaning the bathroom and toilet one day, scrubbing the sink and wiping out the fridge one day, windows etc. I put door knob covers on places I didn't want my oldest getting into while I was busy feeding a spewy baby or trying to settle them. every kid can be like that too there will be days where things go to shit and you feel like a shitty parent and want to turn on the tv and hide with a cuppa. no one blames you or is evaluating your performance.

Sal - posted on 05/09/2012

1,816

16

34

and i do get the girls who are big fans of scheduals, and routines but remember they aren't set in stone, they have to work for you, i have a freind at the moment with a 12 month old and a 3 yr old and while she is a big fan of routine she is getting very frustrated as she has little room for "life" between naps and baths and meals, her kids are really great as long as the routine is followed to the letter, mess it around a little and her day falls apart....at the moment her baby is getting up at 6.30 sleeps at 10till 11.30 then again from 3- about 4, her son is up at 5.30 sleeps at about 12 till 2 so she is finding it difficult to get anything done as she was such a stickler for routine and bed at home that they won;t nap any where but home in bed...

Sal - posted on 05/09/2012

1,816

16

34

my last 2 are 14 months apart and we lived rural with a teen and a hubby on night shift and on call 7 days a week, as well when they were born it was just so difficult, i would have to drive hundreds of km a week just for the school run (if the bus was missed as it was often due to being up all night with babies ) and all i can tell you is accept help if it is offered, don;t take advantage of people but people don;t usual offer if they don't mean it...and don;t beat yourself up if things are picture perfect all the time, happy, cared for well fed kids are the only thing that really matters at the end of the day, if the house slips a little or you miss an appointment every now and then it isn;t the end of the world...no one expects you do be super woman, just the best mum you can be

9 Comments

View replies by

Amy - posted on 05/10/2012

12

4

0

Thanks for the new comments ladies. All very kind, helpful and encouraging. I really like that most of them were very realistic, and had a good reminder to keep priorities and that the little things dont matter and things do go to hell somedays even if you are martha stewart. Thanks again, best to you all :)

Amy - posted on 05/09/2012

12

4

0

Thank you so much for all your tips and input already! I definitely agree with being as prepared as possible, and organized and planned ahead.
I have had to homeschool my son the last couple months which has needless to say added a PT Job to my already FT job, and will probably have to continue to do so up to the next couple months.
As far as being prepared and organized, that is what can be so hard with special needs children. No matter how set up your are, you never can quite know what to expect from one day to the next, or how much or how extreme it will go with my sons Autism and ADHD. The ADHD is actually more trying than anything we've experienced from Autism. I try to remember my saying I've coined for myself to keep 'rigid flexibility' to our lives.
Thats honestly the biggest challenge. You can have a good few days, that went somewhat close to what was planned, and even if you get that lucky, there never goes a week withot some size road bump thrown in to throw things out of wack, or off the plan.
As far as pregnancy nausea, I already have a RX for anti-nausea meds, and sadly sometimes thats not even enough.
I know eventually I'll make it through the pregnancy, (somehow), but I know even after I manage that, the real challenge comes after topping that first mountain. :p
Thanks for all the advice, I would continue to love anything else anyone has to offer! :)

Janetia - posted on 05/09/2012

1

0

0

I agree with Jodi you have to organize. I keep sticky notes everywhere! Its the only way to keep track because you won't remember everything. I am a single mother of a 5 year old, 2 and 1 year old, and a 8 month old. It's hard as hell so I wont dare tell you it's easy and everything will be fine. I get help from their grandparents every now and then. I TRY to be prepared for anything possible that could happen to children such as for emergencies. If you have friends/babysitters/grandparents that help try not to over use them because you never know when you'll really need them. As far as appointments/shopping/pickups try to keep everything scheduled together or just close. My appointment schedule is coming together now since i dont have to take one to the doctor and find someone to keep the other three. Its more convenient to make one trip. Set business days like Mon/Tues or Mon/Wed, and set hours for the kids to see when you will have free time. TRY not to encourage the kids with bad habits because they become annoying when you have to stop what you're doing to calm a tantrum. When they get to the age to distinguish right from wrong then it will be easier!

Liz - posted on 05/08/2012

189

0

59

Schedules are my best friend! I could not survive without a schedule! I know this isn't for everyone, but I just cannot manage chaos. I have 4 kids, ages 5, 3, 2 and 10 months. They ALL take naps at the same time during the day. I have a monthly chart on my fridge with each day filled in with the chores I need to do. I also have a dry erase calendar on my fridge for everyone's appointments. Everybody is assigned their own color to help with my organization. I agree with Jodi: do everything you can the night before for the next day. Clothes out, breakfast as much ready as possible, coffee pot ready to go (I can't survive without my coffee!) None of my kids are special needs, or even in school yet, but they are all close in age. Others have done what you are doing, and you can do it too!
To help with your nausea, try eating sour things, or sucking on sour candies. If it gets too bad, talk to your doc and you might be able to get a prescription. Sometimes certain prenatal vitamins can enhance nausea, so talk to your doc about those too and make sure you're taking one that won't make you feel worse. Try to relax when you can. Rest when your kids do. Get to bed at a decent time. Book a baby sitter once a week or every other week so you can go out, or so that they can take care of the kids while you do things around the house without being interrupted. Good luck and you CAN do it!

Jodi - posted on 05/08/2012

2,694

52

175

Organize organize organize!!! lol None of my children are special needs, but I have a 3 year old and 1 year old twins. I make all the snacks the night before and I cook all my meals for the week on the weekends while hubby si home to watch the kids. I set out my 3 year olds clothes, and she can dress herself, but I also get my twins' clothes out the night before too, we get up, eat breakfast and all their clothes are ready and waiting. When it's snack time, I just open the fridge and pull out the snack I need.

Also, I know this sounds weird, but I got rid of a ton of toys and now we only have some basics. Building blocks, instruments, kitchen set with dolls too, a few books and farm toys. In my 3 year olds room she has Mr. Potato head and a felt board. When I got rid of toys, my kids instantly calmed down (have a child that's autistic, I'm sure you're familiar with sensory overload) and actually PLAY with their toys now, instead of just pulling them out and throwin them on the floor. Good luck, you'll be fine and do great! As for the pregnancy, take as much help as you can get and rest often.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms