Remorse? Anyone?

Brittany - posted on 10/13/2014 ( 6 moms have responded )

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Hi im Brittany, and for the past 3 1/2 years ive have name remorse about my sons names. Well I've talked to my husband about it and the worst part is he doesn't care. I've tried begging him to let me give him different middle name so we can call my son C. J. his name starts with a c. but the middle name is Seth which is his name. He said no.

I then said can we add a name so I can call him by his two middle names he said no. So I figured id get used to my sons name, well guess what im not! I love the first and middle name but not together bc they're are no nicknames for my sons first name. which I LOVE the name but I don't think I love it combined with Seth bc no one uses it even my husband never calls him this? At his preschool they have no nickname for him and we don't use his middline name. My husband doesn't have to deal with the social outings bc hes always at work, and ive told him what I go through he just doesn't care.

So when we had our daughter I had a name picked out! guess what he HATED it so I couldn't call her it! It was Alexis,he said theyd call her sexi lexi, so I decided not to name her that. We decided on a different name, keep in mind I was very ill in hospital with my daughter and could barely think with horrid headaches. EVERYONE CALLS HER GABBY! I didn't even think they would I thought Gabrielle is Gabby Gabriella is Ella. No one calls her that so it stuck and im sad bc I liked either Ella or Bella or something else. So now I have a 3 1/2 year old and a 14 month old whose names I honestly can't get used to. I'm on medicine for depression but I still feel this way. I live with it, and im grateful for my kids, and if I never change their names fine. What should I do, live with it, or change it on my own : [ My one friend told me she doesn't like the nn Gabby she likes Ella but other than that Everyone calls her Gabby! Which is frustrating : [ I don't hate the name, but I def hear others that I would love.

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Jodi - posted on 10/16/2014

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Quite honestly, when you name a child, you have to consider ALL of the possible ways people may shorten it. However, you ALSO need to call your child by the preferred name.

My brother's name is Daniel. My mother WAS concerned that he would get called Danny, and she didn't want that. However, because both of my parents called him Daniel ALL of the time, while his mates may have shortened it, family never did. We still call him Daniel.

At the end of the day, your kids will decide which they prefer and you won't have any say over it anyway. So even if you decide on something in particular, your children will ultimately be the ones to decide as they get older. So yes, you do kind of need to get over it.

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Chet - posted on 10/16/2014

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Sometimes names just don't turn out the way you expect, even with a lot of careful consideration when you're choosing them..

The spelling we picked for one of our son's names was common where we used to live, but a different spelling is preferred where we live now. One of our kids has a name that sounds fine in English, but we moved to a place where most people speak French and the French pronunciation of her name is horrible. And it's a long story, but another one of our kids uses a completely different name in French than in English, so she known by two different names, which is just bizarre.

Anyway, none of this bothers the kids, and I don't see any of it as causing a long term problem, so I'm not worrying about it. I agree with Jodi that kids ultimately decide what they want to be called. I know a lot of people where their mom uses one name and the rest of the world uses the name the child prefers.

I don't know what would be better Gabby or Ella. Girls who go by Gabby can suffer with a lot of "talks a lot" comments, but Ella is a really common name in some places. A lot of Ella's need to use their last initial to not be confused with the other Ella's.

I'm completely unclear on the problem with your son's first name. I think that three and a half is really old to make a big name change though unless there is a huge problem with the name (like your son hates it, or there is some huge cultural issue with the name like you moved to place where it sounds like a curse word).

Brittany - posted on 10/14/2014

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His middle name is Seth, so I think im just going to start calling him Seth, because my sosaid he like that name. which is his dads name. He can keep his firt name but il just call him by his middle I guess.

For my daughter, ive tried calling her Ella but its overshadowed by Gabby! I don't hate Gabby, I just was thrown off I think. The worst part is I donteven love the name Ella, it's okay. I have a huge list of names id call her if my husband agrees, so im gonna sit down with him and have him write a few other names he likes and see if we have any the same, if we do, we'll call her that. Gabby is a cute name to me now that I think about it, I just was thrown off, so im gonna talk it over again with the husband.

What do you think about calling my son Seth and maybe adding Seth Thomas? Its my dads name and my bio dads last name.

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