SAHM Depression

Kayla - posted on 02/15/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I'm a mother of two boys ages 2 and 3! I love them dearly they are my world! I've been married to my husband for 5 years now and he has been the bread winner since the birth of my oldest! It kind of eats me up inside that I can't help financially. I feel useless at times. Maybe it's the fact that I'm always at home and I rarely get out! The only time I go out is either for an appointment for my boys or grocery shopping. I find myself really frustrated and sad majority of the day! my husband always tells me "I wish I could stay at home and you work, you've got it easy!" If only he knew..... I do not have social life and maybe that's what I'm missing?! Not quite sure! I was wondering if any other SAHM felt this way too or is something wrong with me????

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Raye - posted on 02/15/2016

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There's nothing wrong with you. It's a common thing to feel this way. You maybe need to look at things a different way, though. You managing the kids and the house is a JOB. Your husband gets the weekends as a break from his job, so it's understandable that you would want a break from yours. It doesn't mean you love your kids any less to want a break. You should talk to your husband about what you're feeling, and see if he could watch the kids for an hour or two during an evening or on a weekend to let you get out. Maybe you can get another family member to babysit or hire a sitter and have a date night with your hubby once in a while. Maybe you could enroll in a "mommy and me" group with your kids to get some other human social interaction. There's many things you can try. Just don't despair. You do need to take care of yourself, too, so you can be at your best to take care of your little ones.

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Joan - posted on 02/17/2016

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Why don't you get a part-time job? The feeling you are feeling is that you are not financially contributing, which technically is true. You likely feel like a babysitter, which in some ways you are.

When my mom stayed at home with me, I found it annoying. Now as a mom, my kids can't wait to get rid of me. The idea that kids want their mom at home is not real. They enjoy daycare where they can play with their peers.

Get empowered, put your kids in part-time daycare (or full-time) and work part-time (or full-time). I have a friend that does this. It is a reason to get dressed up and make friends with co-workers.

It will save you from hanging out on mom-blogs justifying not working when what you really want to do is get out of the house like most other adults. And your husband will probably appreciate it (even though he will tell you he is neutral, no guy actually likes paying for a SAHM in 2016)

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