SAHM does NOT = babysitter!! :(

Montana - posted on 10/18/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I live close to my hubby's family. Everyone has kids. Im the only stay at home mom out of the group that lives on the block. WHY do people think that JUST because I'm home all day that I will babysit their kids?? Its not that I dont want to help them out or whatever but I NEVER (even when I DID have a full time job) asked them to watch my kids. I can honestly say that I genuinely do not like to babysit. I have 2 kids and for me thats more than enough responsibility. Heres an example of what I deal with; Last weekend my brother inlaw just showed up n asked me if I would watch my niece so he could ride his 4 wheeler. HUH? Why do I have to watch his kid while he pisses around for hours? The thing is my hubby n I have asked him repeatedly NOT to ride his quad by our house after 7pm and he does every weekend til about about 10. NOT helping him there! But my sis inlaw makes a point to tell me he wasnt happy with me about it. Oh well! Thats what u give up when u have kids. The ability to do what u want when u wanna do it. Think he would watch my kids so I could hit the mall? No! Why make me feel like crap or make me explain my decision? Then I get told "I was gonna ask u to watch her Saturday but I didnt think u would want to so we could go out for our anniversary." I get it... u want date night. But I want MY Saturday night, too! Even if that means sitting at home. Ive told her I would babysit in a bind but thats about it. We can never find a sitter in our area so I certainly dont wanna BE the sitter. But WHY put me on the spot about it? Its not my job to always be there. No one has watched my kids for me when I needed it so why do I get expected to help out? I feel bad cuz her and I are kinda close but I know they would never return the favor. They would pay me but not babysit back. Cant let go. Stress is eating at me. Advice?

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Jenna - posted on 10/18/2011

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Maybe you need to start making yourself unavailable. Stay-at-home moms are busy too. My two older boys (school-age) are in flag football and basketball and I'm always carting them places. My daughter (3) is in dance classes and I have to take her there. My other kids are involved in preschools and playgroups as well. Then there's doctor's visits and other errands. People think that because I stay home that means I'm always home, but I'm not. I've often had friends call me and ask if I can watch their kid while they run to the store. I usually tell them no because I don't have time to do it. Besides, I take my kids to the store if I have to run there and never think of asking someone else to watch them so I can go alone. That's why I usually plan trips to the store when my husband is around, so I don't have to take them.

I think you might also just need to say, "I'm happy to help you out with certain things (maybe interject here with what you'd be willing to do) but baby-sitting is not my thing. I don't want to do it." Sometimes being upfront and frank is the only way to go.

I had this problem when we lived close to my husband's family. I just made myself unavailable to them. They would call and ask if they could drop off their kids and I'd say, "I don't think I can, sorry." even if I was doing nothing but sitting at home all day!

Stifler's - posted on 10/18/2011

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I don't mind babysitting but not all the time with zero notice like that

Stifler's - posted on 10/18/2011

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Tell them to fuck off lol or pretend you aren't home. Or always be out or busy or "just about to go out ssee yabye "

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