SAHM: how often do you get out of the house?

Renae - posted on 07/14/2013 ( 51 moms have responded )

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1. How often do you get out alone?
2. How often do you get out with kiddos?
3. How often with hubby (dates)?

4. How often do you get fully ready: make up done, hair done & dressed cute?
Lastly, how many times per week do you & hubby have sex?

Thanks in advance :)

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Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 07/18/2013

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Renae, I wanted to add that I see a lot of moms need for alone time. I do agree that every mom needs some time alone , but peoples attitudes can make things more stressful then needed. Enjoy your kids!! I take my kids to parks, zoos, swimming , museums almost daily. I find that being organized as a mom makes everything so much more manageable. I prepare clothes, diaper bags, snacks I'm bringing along the night before and we eat breakfast and are ready to go. I come home and have down time for the kids where the do a quiet activity such as arts and crafts or let them watch a movie while I prepare dinner and get a few household chores done . We then take baths and it's lights out. Me and hunny always shower together at night to reconnect after a long day!! Motherhood can be stressful but a lot of it can be prevented by a fun positive attitude and organization ! I save Sunday's to get the bulk of chores done and I turn up the music real loud and dance around with the kids and get them involved so or seems less like housework and more like fun

Shonda - posted on 07/22/2013

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1. Maybe twice a month on a Fri or Sat
2.Twice a week maybe more depending on what there is to do
3. Really Never (He works 2 jobs )
4. I always dress nice , don't use much make-up and Sex 4-5 times a week can't get it everyday lol

Ann - posted on 07/22/2013

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1. Maybe once a month (if I'm lucky)
2. Daily, i try and go for a walk everyday or to the park to get some fresh air, maybe some social interaction so I don't die from anxiety or cabin fever. haha
3. RARE occasions.
4. I try to do it daily, It feels nice to pamper yourself when the kids are having a nap or take a nice bath then get all dolled up and dress cute just to make yourself feel better instead of looking in the mirror looking like a hobo. haha
and probably 2-4 times a week.

Lauren - posted on 07/21/2013

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1. Once, whenever Husband is home and I get groceries.
2. Four times a week...maybe. When we go swimming or park.
3. Once or twice, every two weeks (due to his job).
4.On the date nights or if we go out as a family. If its just the kids and I leaving the house while daddys at work. There's not enough time to do all that.
5. 3-4x's a week if no one in the house is sick. :)

Sally - posted on 07/19/2013

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We're comfortable enough with each other and like each other enough that we don't need special activities to enjoy ourselves. We're perfectly happy just living our lives with each other. there was plenty of time for us to be alone together before we had kids and god willing there'll be plenty more when the grow up and move away.

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Sara - posted on 07/19/2014

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1) rare blue moon. 2) 1-2 time a week at best 3) 1-2 Times a year at best.. I rarely get ready to my liking and have sex not enough times to even mention. I'm exhausted and broken. A slave to motherhood.

Michelle - posted on 01/12/2014

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what do you ladies feed your husband to have such a drive may i ask!! mine is so tired from working nights that he's forgotten he and I both have needs lol!!

Michelle - posted on 01/12/2014

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Ok I have 3 Kids ages 4-7-9,
1. How often do I get out of the house alone? Every other day, to pay bills or go to the store and do things like that for the house, very seldom is it for anything to pamper myself..
2. How often do I get out with the kids? At least twice a week, we go to church on sundays and we have a family dinner out once a week as well! Both my boys play basketball so whenever they have games as well.
3.How often with the hubby? Hmm gosh thats so hard bc everyone we know has a life and busy so its usally every 3 to 6 months! :(
4. How often do I get fully ready: the whole 9 yards? 3 to 4 times a week, if im gooing to be home all day doing house work I don't but if im going to be out all daay doing things then I take the time to get ready after i send them off to school...

5. How often do I get to have intamcy with my husband? No where near enough, he is working 3rd shift now so its not regular but I would on good weeks once a week to every two weeks.. He's been working 3rd for 4 months now so its still not what it use to be which was roughly 2 times a week at least..

An there is the story of my life ladies lol!!

Kayla - posted on 08/13/2013

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1. I get out alone a couple times a year that are not dates, although I do go to the gym twice a week where I leave my kids in childwatch for two hours.
2. I go out with my kids several times a week I am including grocery shopping, bill paying, and other errands.
3. I get half a dozen dates a year if I'm lucky.
4. I get dressed up completely very seldom but I almost always have mascara and eyeliner when I go to town.
5. I have sex several times a week when he is home.
Also just let people know I have 3 kids ages 1, 4, and 6.

Michele - posted on 08/09/2013

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1- I get out @ least once a week alone or to meet a friend for a mani/pedi, the gym or to go shopping for me. It's usually just about 2hrs though, not a whole day.

2- We (the kids & I) go out, as in malls, restaurants, aquarium, zoo, playground or beach a few times a week. We always play in the backyard everyday but we live just a few minutes from the beach so it's easy enough to get there @ least once a week. We also live conveniently close to some farms and petting zoos and the aquarium is about a 40 minute drive so again, not very difficult to get to.

3- Hubby and I go out on a date night like every 2-3 weeks, my mom sleeps over and babysits on a Saturday night and we usually stay pretty local.

4- I take a shower every night after the kids go to bed. We have twin 2 1/2yr old boys so they go to sleep pretty early around 8:00pm. I get dressed every morning, while some days the outfits are cuter than others, it depends on where we (or I) am going, I never just hang out in pj's or old sweats. I have some very nice yoga type pants/capris, they fit well and are nice fabric that I will pair with a v neck slightly fitted t shirt, or a skinny pant/Capri with a tunic type slightly fitted t shirt, flat sandles or cute flip flops. I like comfort but that doesn't have to mean sloppy.
I always wear makeup, even if its just a little bit just to look a little more polished and I will do something with my hair, even if its as simple as putting in a headband or a quick up do with a claw clip so it's not just pulled back out of the way.
We don't have sex nearly as much as we used to before the boys were born, having twins can leave you feeling really tired by the end of the day, especially in the toddler stage! But I would say @ least 1 a week, or once every other week! Hubby also works a lot, he is a CPA/CFP, commutes by railroad to manhattan everyday so he is usually tired by the days end too!

Katie - posted on 08/05/2013

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1. How often do you get out alone? 2. How often do you get out with kiddos? 3. How often with hubby (dates)? 4. How often do you get fully ready: make up done, hair done & dressed cute? Lastly, how many times per week do you & hubby have sex? Thanks in advance :)

1. Go out alone maybe once a week but not like a night out. More like to get a pedicure, go to the gym or shop alone for an hour or so.

2. Take my kid out to do activity every other day. Usually at least a walk/playground every day.

3. Date night with hubby usually every other weekend, sometimes a day date.

4. Have makeup on/ hair done everyday but that doesn't necessarily mean I showered ;) almost always not dressed unless its the weekend

5. Sex is pretty rare haha. Our son is 9 months and I breastfeed so my libido is way low. I think my husband is insanely attractive though :)

Melynda - posted on 08/04/2013

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I have four kids but sometimes feels like fourteen. I go shopping every thurs sometimes with one or two of the children. I perfer not to take anyone with me cause it seems i end up buying more junk food when i do. I try to leave the house and get out and about everyday but that doesnt happen every day. I get "cute" almost everyday. Me and my hubby get a date night at least once a month and have sex as much as possible.

Rochelle - posted on 08/02/2013

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I take kids everywhere. ...I get out a line maybe a few times a yr and maybe a half a dozen times with hubby. Sex some weeks we could do it 3 to 4 times but mostly just a couple times wkly lately :( 33 michigan been married 7 years 3 kids.

Tina - posted on 08/01/2013

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Hello I nover get out the house like I use too since I had my two childern /but now my darther is 3 years old and she is teething soo bed where she just loose contel I got even take care the iusse I need help what I should do.

Bobbie - posted on 08/01/2013

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1. Never, as a mom of 7 kids I always take my 2 youngest with wherever I go, while the rest are at school. Now it's summer time, all the kids come with me.

2. Every time I leave the house.I try to arrange a family outing for us (aside from going to Church) once every weekend.

3. Never. We don't have time and I hate the idea of leaving my kids without their parents.

4. I can't even remember the last time, but it must have been more than 6 years ago.

5. 1/4 times a week.

Lindsey - posted on 07/23/2013

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1. Once every 6 months, maybe
2. Daily
3. Our son is 12 months and we've been on 1 date
4. Haha
5. What is sex?

Gena - posted on 07/23/2013

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1 almost never
2 around 4 times a week
3 once a week
4 everyday just not on sunday cuz its our "lazy" day
Sex 4-6 times a week

Jamie - posted on 07/22/2013

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1: Once a month
2: Once every 2 weeks
3: Every Friday night (sometimes I make a really great dinner at home though)
4: I get dressed and put on make up and fix my hair everyday except "Sunday Funday" We stay in our P.j.'s and watch great movies and play games all day!!
5: On average 3-4 times a week

Dana - posted on 07/22/2013

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Alone, one or twice a month, out with kids 2-3 times a week, dates with hubby never, fully ready 2-3 times a week, sex with my husband every other day

Rachel - posted on 07/22/2013

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Out alone, bout three times a month
out with kids three times a week
out with Hubby, twice a month
get dress/dolled up^^^ only when I go out.
Sex 3-4 times a week.

Laura - posted on 07/21/2013

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1) Barely ever. I lost my lisence because of my Epilepsy
2) Try to head out at least every second day with kiddo, she's a handful
3) Once a month or so. He has a rotating night shift schedule, so there's rarely any free weekend nights
4) Erm, not very. Make up sure, it's never been super important to me to look a certain way.

Sex wise, again his schedule sucks a bit. So once or twice a month when we have a night free from kiddo

Joanna - posted on 07/21/2013

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1. Only during the semester while I'm driving to and from school.

2. Always.

3. I can't even remember the last time we went on a date without the kids.

4. Once a year, at my husband's work Christmas party.

5. Twice a month. Sometimes 3 times a month if I'm feeling up to it.

You are welcome =)

Dehra - posted on 07/21/2013

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My Husband is a trucker so he is gone 3-4 weeks at a time so I don't get out very often on my own with my kids being 14,4,3,3. But when the hubby is home for a week or two at a time. I get out as often as I need to because if I'm relaxed and happy my husband knows he'll get some sex. When my husband is home as long as he doesn't piss me off he gets sex everyday and night. My husband and I go out for dinner alone at least once or twice a month because he's never home. So the first night he's home its family night and then the next night or so we will have our time at a nice restaurant and a movie. As far as the kids and I go we go out and do something sometimes 2-3 times a week (If money permits) if it's a low week on money we stay home watch a movie together or the kids enjoy their out door water toys (summer time) winter nothing is going on with us we are home or the kids are participating in their activities (dance classes ect) I know this is a lot I hope this helps

Charity_knox - posted on 07/21/2013

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We get out alone about once a week for something fun. My kids are 19 month old twins and my 5 year old. We have visitors over about once a week. Maybe once a month or so we go to the zoo or water park or something. I may get out alone with friends every other month or so. I work part time so I get some time being away from my kids at work. I live in a rural community so the pool, and store are about 90 miles round trip. The zoo or water park about 3 hours drive away. Rural life is a bit different that if all activities are down the road a few miles.

Dionne - posted on 07/21/2013

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Hi there i was wondering if anyone can help I have been told 2 due dates from the hospital 14-09 and 17-08 what one will i go with I don't even know when I am due thanks xx

Michelle - posted on 07/19/2013

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I have six kids aged 1 to 11 years.

1. Getting out alone depends on the season and amount of activities going on. In the busy season, going grocery shopping alone is about it for me time. I escape for a scrapbook weekend twice a year and usually take 1 or 2 couple hour stretches a month to hang out with the girls. I also do a Mom's group during the school year one morning a week with childcare provided. Sometimes it is about being creative.
2. The kids and I go out several times a week. Sometimes playground, museum, or something fun, sometimes errands.
3. Husband and I guarantee ourselves a date night once a month by trading childcare with another family, (also with six kids) which means only paying for our activity and not a sitter.
4. Full hair, make-up and clothing is usually reserved for church or date nights. As for sex, it totally depends on our schedules and energy level. We aim for several times a week.

[deleted account]

"3. We don't waste the time and money. "Dating" is to get to know each other well enough to decide if you want to get married. We figured that out almost 20 years ago."

That is a very interesting interpretation of that word! I've never heard of "dating" referring only to the "getting to know you" stage. Do you no longer spend recreational time with your husband now that you know you love him? I guess, with my husband, realizing that I loved him enough to spend my life with him just made me want to spend more time with him. We've only been married for 10 years though, we only dated for about 3 years before we wed though, and I was sick for a good chunk of it, so maybe we just haven't reached that stage quite yet.
Do you ever go to dinner and a concert or performance? My husband & I love the symphony, but not so much my son yet, so we wouldn't ever get to see them if we didn't still "date." What do you call excursions like that, if not dates?

Sally - posted on 07/19/2013

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Our girls are just turned 9 and almost 4. I'd like 2 more, but at my age, I'll be lucky to get one.
1. Every Wednesday, I have dance rehearsal.
2. Whenever we get tired of being in the house.
3. We don't waste the time and money. "Dating" is to get to know each other well enough to decide if you want to get married. We figured that out almost 20 years ago.
4. Our annual family portrait and every dance show I perform in.
Lastly, when we both feel like it and the kids are asleep, elsewhere, or distracted enough. Sometimes it's every day for a couple weeks and sometimes it doesn't happen for a month or two.

Christy - posted on 07/18/2013

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I have two kids 10yr and 6yr.
1. I don't get out very much with out them in less they are in school.
2. Me and the kids are out and about doing something all most everyday. We like to stay busy weather it be sports, the park, the pool, or the zoo.
3.Dates are few and far in between my husband works long hours and we go out when we have family in town or when we go to visit family.
4. It depends on my mood, some days I will spend the time to get all dolled up other days it is a pony tail and call it good. I am not really a make up kind of person though. With how much my husband works and is out of town some times it is twice a week some times it is once every two weeks just depends on how much he is home. But we have all so been together for 16yrs LOL.

[deleted account]

"Traumatized" was mostly a figure of speech, but J was a difficult baby....well, WE thought he was, he could be a normalish baby and we were just totally unprepared for parenthood. Don't get me wrong, I prepared, I read all the books--by the time he was born, I'd read 22 books on pregnancy, parenthood, infant care, child development, child psychology, nutrition, and discipline practices--you name it, I read it! By the time he was 3 years old, my collection had grown to over 100 parenting books.....none of them had the answers I was looking for, but they did give me a lot of valuable information and ideas.

With all the cool travel baby stuff on the market, we mistakenly figured we could go on living our lives pretty much the same as we always did, just with a baby in tow. I had planned to continue working, NEVER thought I'd be a SAHM (but I love it now), we were used to heading out of town whenever we liked. I didn't travel much for work, but my husband did, and I usually tagged along.
In reality, my work suffered to the point of almost losing both of my companies to bankruptcy (I was able to save them once I found balance). My emotional state was a disaster--I rarely wanted to leave the house, the house was a mess, even with the help of a housekeeper and a full time nanny. We had sex MAYBE twice a week, if that. I stopped tagging along for business trips because flying and staying in a hotel with J was just so stressful, even if we brought our nanny (which was too expensive to do often). We yelled at each other a lot--neither one of us thought the other was "doing enough..."
We were indescribably exhausted. I remember heading out for a date one evening, a symphony and ballet, and we fell asleep in our seats before the show started! We were awaken by ushers during the intermission!!!

Life felt like a big disaster. Maybe I'm just not a baby/toddler person. I don't know. I flipped and flopped between working, working part time, and staying home several times before J was 4 years old, just trying to find a balance that worked for us. Eventually, about the time J was 3, I started to find myself again. I stopped working and found ways that J & I could volunteer together to get the fulfillment I got from working while still bonding and spending time with J. I learned to see the beauty in his eyes when he discovered something new, when he was learning, so I started to seek out opportunities to show him new things. I learned to appreciate details of the world I was in, things I'd never noticed or taken the time to look at before because I was too focused on seeing the whole world, like the historic homes in our town, the funky beetles that come out in the spring here, the way the fish and turtles follow us around the lake hoping we'll drop scraps of bread in the water.
As he grew, he started to develop ideas of his own, interpretations of history and art in ways that I had never considered. I can have a more interesting conversation with him about a recent symphony or history exhibit than I could have with a true connoisseur! We travel less often now, but I don't crave travel the way I used to, I am content with everything there is to see here. I love the person he is growing into.

I don't know if I am afraid to have another baby because I don't want to divide my attentions, or because I am afraid of reliving those early years. I supposed knowing the reality would help us adjust faster, possibly make those years easier, but I can't be sure, and I'm just not ready to risk it....does that make any sense at all? I feel like I've rambled, but it sure feels nice to have it all out there!

Nicola - posted on 07/18/2013

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1. Never
2. Never
3. Never
4. Never
5. Twice a week if we are really lucky

I have twins...

Rhiannon - posted on 07/17/2013

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Chelsey Wock,
I just really wanted to tell you what you wrote made me and my Husband laugh because we fit everything you wrote the only difference is our children ages! We should talk tons more!! We may have many more things in common.

Chelsey - posted on 07/17/2013

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Right now I am 8 1/2 months pregnant and have a 6 year old, 4 year old and 17 month old so numbers 1, 3, and 4 hasn't really happened in months lol

When not pregnant though...

1. About 2 times a week. Winter I play volleyball one night a week and curl one night a week. Summer I usually play ball twice a week and some weekends. Occasionally I'll catch a moviewith friends because hubby and I don't like the same ones

2. Anywhere between 2-5 times a week. We live out of town so it's nice to get the kids away from the house.

3. Couple times a month. Hard with kids activities and he works long hours. A couple times a year we will leave the kids with either his parents or my mom for a quick weekend getaway :)

4. Honestly don't get dressed up very often because I generally don't care but if I've had a couple bad days in a row with the kids I'll put makeup on just to make me feel like a woman and not just a mommy lol.

Sex is sometimes a couple times a week and sometimes we don't for a couple weeks because of scheduling and lack of energy.

Danielle Elizabeth - posted on 07/17/2013

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I get out of the house about once a month for a few hours without any kids. I get out with the kids almost daily. I find taking them to explore new things and get their bodies and minds stimulated is much healthier for all of us ( kiddos being cooped up equals crazy kids and crazy momma!). It's tough sometimes to be out all day and then come home to cook and chores and bath time but I set aside Sundays to "relax" and get the majority of housework done such as scrubbing floors and doing the bulk of the weeks laundry. Me and hubby go out alone on dates probably once every 2 months and some of the time just choose to sit and do nothing if we have no kids!!! I probably get all dressed up 3 or 4 times a month and very rarely put on makeup in between those times. Me and hubby still manage to have a very active sex life and probably are intimate at least 5 times a week!!

Amber - posted on 07/17/2013

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1.Almost never 2. Maybe once a week.3. Not often 4. Maybe once a week. 5. 3-5 times a week.

[deleted account]

ALONE TIME
I get out once in a while when I know I need. it. like if i have moved to a different place. I dont have girlfriends around me like most of us do. I used to when I lived in VA. but military moves us so its totally different. if alone time I would go tot he mall and shop and spoil myself with manicure n pedicure and buy something yummy for my kiddos and my hubsy as they wait for my lovely return.

GET OUTTA WITH KIDDOS
EVERYDAY !!! BUT NOT HOT AS A HATTIE WEATHER. if weather is not mine I stay home n educate my kids, take a catnap watch movies clean n organize.

GO OUT WITH HUBBY
never! I know most people have said to me its not good for ya marriage but i dont believe that. we go on family dates and do everything together as a family. I love my two munchkins, cant let them outta my sight. only time when they are alone when i do "religious stuffs" but I need to have a trusted babysitter.

FULLY GET READY
depends but Sunday its a must i am all about getting beautiful cos its a church day. woohhooo

SEX
I harass my hubby for attention everyday. lol and I get it........

Renae - posted on 07/16/2013

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@kelly my kids are just turned 3 and about to be 6 months. Both are in diapers and in the process of weaning 3 year old. So diaper changing and nursing both prob contributes to it feeling overwhelming/ so hard.
Would you mind elaborating on why you said traumatized the first few years? I think I just like hearing other moms vent and to know that all of these challenges are totally normal and most of all...... will get better! :)

Ambur - posted on 07/16/2013

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I don't get out alone. But I never really got out alone before having a baby. I would occasionally spend time with friends. Now I bring baby along.
I have had an outing with Just hubby. But it's a little hard because my baby is breastfed. A long outing leaves my breasts engorged and so I would have to pump. And my son doesnt really like the bottle so he will eat just barely enough to get by till I get back.
as far as intamacy goes, I think we are together about as much as before baby. We just have to be more creative in finding time for eachother.
My baby is 8 and a half months old.

Rhiannon - posted on 07/16/2013

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We have three kids, a 5 year old Daughter, a 4 year old Son ( who has similar Symptoms of Autism), and our youngest is our 2 year old Son. Rarely do I have "alone" time I can't even go to the bathroom without a child being in there with me. My Hubby is rarely home and when he gets home the kids are in bed or an hour out from bedtime, so I do it all alone. I dislike that my only outing consists of going to the grocery store a couple times a week for 15-20 minutes, but I chose to have My Children so I make sacrifices. I wish at times that his family or mine were more helpful, or even just in our Children's lives. I feel horrible that our Kiddos are growing up without Aunts, Uncles and Grandparents. If our families were good people they would have 7 aunts and uncles and all four grandparents, but they are not good people.

Rhiannon - posted on 07/16/2013

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1.As far as going out alone the most I go out is to the grocery store and that's maybe two to three times a week.
2. With the kids other then going outside to play daily we don't leave our neighborhood much. Maybe once a week or so to go out to a baseball game or the zoo or a farm.
3. The Hubby and I have not had a date night since February. We maybe have a date night once a year twice a year if we are lucky. We have no help from family at all so it's difficult. 4. Fully ready maybe 3 times a week, make up on maybe 4-5 times a week. 5. As long as I don't have my friend, we go 2-4 times a week.

Leanne - posted on 07/16/2013

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I don't get out of the house - I have goals to , but they are yet unfulfilled. I don't get out much with the kids either , unless my husband is home to help wrangle them. Date nights with my husband usually consist of a rented movie and some snacks ... if we don't forget. Sometimes my mom baby sits for us and we go out for dinner. I don't get dressed up (I don't have that many clothes that fit) and I have little time for my hair. I have four kids under four with a three week old baby girl as the youngest - life is crazy right now , but it can only get better :)

User - posted on 07/16/2013

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I just got laid off from my job and have been staying home with my son for about a month and a half, I'm a single mom my son is 16 months. Since he was born I've gotten out alone for "me" time maybe 4 times and it's only an hour or 2, it's very rare I get my hair and make up done and I haven't been on one date since he was born.

[deleted account]

One is right for us. We were never sure how many children we wanted, so after J was born, we decided to play it by ear; if one of us got the baby itch again, we'd discuss a second, and so on for a third or fourth. Years passed, and neither of us really felt a second child would improve or bring more fulfillment into our lives. At this point, I'm pretty sure we're not going to change our minds. Occasionally, I have fleeting daydreams about having a little girl, then almost immediately, I remember those difficult baby/toddler years and decide to just be thankful my friends are having babies for me to enjoy. I think those years played a pretty big part in our decision to stop at one--we were both traumatized!

The answer never really just came to us, but rather, life started to take it's course and become happier and healthier, and we just decided we liked the path we were on and didn't want to deviate from it, but all the while, we know that one day we might. You don't have to decide right now if you want the third baby, so just put it in the back of your mind and let life take it's course. If a year from now you are still craving another baby, consider it then.

Also, here is a tip for picking up. Keep a large, pretty basket in your living room. Don't bother picking up until right before you vacuum and at the end of the day, and just toss the toys in the basket. It will take much less time than continuously running them back to her room, or organizing them on a shelf, or into several bins. When the basket starts to get too full (about twice a month) take it to her room and put the toys up. J usually played with the toys already in the basket most days rather than bringing new ones out, so it took forever for the basket to fill up. If she is 2years old or so, she can start helping you pick up. Set a timer, make it a game: Pick up all the GREEN toys! Pick up all the toys with eyes! and so on. J loved that, plus it builds a foundation that helps them clean their rooms independently when they are older. J cleans his room on his own now, and I see him categorize the mess, then pick up accordingly--laundry first, then he'll sort his shoes, then he'll look for nerf gun pellets, and so on until it's clean. The sorting pick up game gave him the mental foundation to do that on his own.

How old are your children?

Renae - posted on 07/15/2013

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Sounds like you really have a great balance going on & are a great mom! Everything you said, I needed to hear, so thank you. Great ideas for outings too!! So you said you do remember the baby/ toddler years? Man, it's wonderful but you're right so hard! I'm just ready to be past the point of being thrown up on every half hour, hair & earrings pulled out, and it would also be nice to be able to eat a hot meal every now and then :)
I keep going back and forth, torn on whether we want more kiddos. I really, really do but I just think of how tough it is and think I couldn't possibly add more to my plate! BUT..... I guess my oldest child would be 5/6 by then and so she would be pretty independent and helpful by that point.
May I ask if you'd like more children? Or does one seem right for you? I keep WISHING the answer would just come to me, but as of now I'm SO torn! Which or driving me nuts because I like to have all my ducks in a row :)

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The toddler years were SO hard! It does get easier, especially once they start school. J is 8 years old now, so we are far past the toddler years, but I remember them! There is a lot I miss about that stage, but also a lot I am SO glad to be past!!! Don't let people make you feel guilty about not enjoying every moment with them--there are lots of good moments, but it's okay to take a break and be away from them too.

I am very lucky that my parents live close by and watch J on occasion so hubby & I can go for a day hike or bike ride. For evenings out, I have a circle of girlfriends--I watch their kids one night, they watch mine another.

I have never felt guilty about leaving J to have time for myself. Some people snubbed their nose--J was born at the height of the "attachment parenting" trend, when mothers rarely put their babies down, much less left them with a sitter--but I am a better mother for it. I am more relaxed, and the time I spend with J is of a higher quality--I am more focused on him, more able to truly enjoy playing games that would annoy or bore me if I were stressed out or never got away from him.

When J was a toddler, I started a book club for moms at our local library that coincided with the toddler music and story time. We took our kids to the tot room & met next door to discuss a grown-up book. I created good friendships that led to playdates at home where we could chat on the porch over mimosas and fruit while our kids played in the grass. It was just as nice as brunch in a cafe to me.

I don't know if it will help, but these are some of the ways I got J out of the house when he was little. Part of getting J out of the house every day was probably as much for me as it was for him.

We delivered Meals-on-Wheels together once a week from the time he was one year old. We learned SO MUCH!!! That is a great charity if you are craving conversation because those housebound people are craving it just as much, and they LOVE babies.

You can also find a storytime at your local bookstores or library at least once a week--I used to keep a list on my fridge of the different places that offered them and the times.

Also, I never shied away from places that were not considered "kid friendly". If I thought a local gallery was having a good exhibit, I took him. Sometimes it was a bust and we left immediately, but more often than not, he offered insight that I would have missed without him.
I take him to all of our museums when the exhibits change (unless I know the content is inappropriate--History museum has been tackling some of the darker moments in history lately that I'm not quite ready to tackle with J, so we've been avoiding it for now--still great place for date night with hubby though!). Even if they are too young to understand the content, they can see the beauty in the Art, look at the colors, experience the shapes and develop an appreciation for the fact that a person created these works to express themselves, their ideas. Art plays a huge role in the way J expresses his anger and happiness now. Also, they will remember the images, even if they don't remember the info that goes along with them, then when they are older, they will learn the info and already have the image, so it will mean more to them and allow them to think more deeply on it.

I took him for walks through our historic district to talk about the beautiful houses. Now that he is older, I google a house or two before our walk to talk about specifically in relationship to our town's history, and the home's part in it.

Renae - posted on 07/15/2013

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Thank you for your response Kelly. Wow, your life sounds pretTy good :)
I bet one child & being past the baby toddler years makes it all much more manageable? Right now I feel like I'm always juggling: holding baby while trying to cook, tend to toddler and most of all CONSTANTLY picking up the house/ after her!
I can't wear earrings because they'll likely just get yanked out by baby. Had half my hair pulled out lol and can't wear nice clothes because I'm sure to be thrown up on every half hour or so.
Does any of this sound familiar? I keep reassuring myself that one day this previous, fun but hard stage will be over and I will be able to load them up in 5 mins. and have fun outings we can all three do!

Do you mind me asking who keeps your son when you get out with friends or for date night? And well, I guess you don't feel guilty about leaving him then since you get him out everyday anyway, right?
How old is he???
Thanks so much :)

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1. How often do you get out alone?
This depends on what you define as "getting out". I get out just for fun with girlfriends about twice a week. In addition to that, I volunteer and work out at the gym everyday, but some people don't count that as "getting out." Very occasionally, if I need true "ALONE" time beyond a glass of wine in the hottub, I'll go see a movie by myself.

2. How often do you get out with the kiddos?
Everyday. My son is an only child, so socialization has always been very important to us. We also skipped pre-school, so educational outings were a must.

3. How often do you get out with the hubby?
We usually have at least one date a week, but we make time for each other every evening after J is in bed.

4. How often do you get fully ready?
Everyday. I leave the house everyday, and I like to be cute. I don't wear much makeup--It takes less than a minute to apply it all--and my hair is very simple. My clothes are usually very casual, but they're a step up from jeans and a tee. I shower and get dressed as soon as I get out of bed every morning.

5. Sex? Everyday. Sometimes we miss a day if things are crazy and we are so tired by the time we get a moment together that we just cuddle up and fall asleep, but usually we find the energy because it keeps us connected. Also when hubby is working out of town :(

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