SAHM with no friends and no one to lean on

Christie - posted on 08/28/2013 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I have 2 schoolagers and a 12 month old. We moved here to Florida a yr ago and I've yet to have just 1 friend. The only person that I have a chance to hang out with is my "self-elected master of parenting" SIL. Oh and she has no kids btw. I have times where I am fine and dandy but then there are the other times when I don't do so good. Both of my parents passed away 4 months apart this year. I know my hubby loves me but he is not the one you run to when you need a shoulder to cry on or a pick me up. On top of it all, I am aging and tired and hurting everywhere. Is there anyone out there in the same boat?

9 Comments

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Karman - posted on 09/03/2013

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Hi Christie, I am a SAHM, and I know all too well what you are feeling. I have lost touch with all of my former friends. I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your parents. I can only imagine what this grief must have added to your mounting stress. I also have a husband that is not the shoulder to cry on type. If you do not already have someone to be friends with online or if you would like to have another, I would love to be your pen pal! (btw- I had a good laugh about your SIL- I know what that is like as well- if you ever need advice about children just ask someone who doesn't have any! lol)

Erin - posted on 09/03/2013

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I feel like that a lot! I just had a baby girl on July 5 and my oldest just turned 7 in the same month. Its very isolating to stay home so much. I have a car and take my (just to het out of the house)kids to the park or now that school has started, it's just us girls. I'm constantly struggling with money so I need to save where I can, so driving around all day isn't an option. I guess it's completely normal and mo you're not alone.

Misty - posted on 09/02/2013

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Unfortunately, I think this is all too common! I was just telling my husband that I feel like I give off this "I don't have time for you" vibe after not recognizing 2 moms from my kids school last week, and my child was in class with them all last year! I have 5 kids all 10 and under, and I am too preoccupied with them to notice anyone else. When I do have a minute and talk with someone (over a sandbox or something), I freeze and don't know what to say. My mind is going 100 MPH with kid stuff, and I feel like I have forgotten how to be an adult!

I have joined groups on Meet up and met some nice moms. I also have my online friends that are my shoulder and sounding board!

Rachael - posted on 09/02/2013

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heck yea, i signed up to volunteer by teaching an adult class just to get out of the house and plan to go to a free tax class just to have something to do away from the house . but when im down i dont get out of bed, dont even brush my hair. i didnt know being a full time mom would be like this either. i have diabetes and hurt all the time too. find a reason to get up in the morning. maybe volunteer at a hospital or retirement center, theyll for sure make u feel needed.

Ashley - posted on 08/29/2013

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I hear that! Becoming a mom sure sent some of my "friends" running for the fences. It's better to have an Internet friend than none at all :)

Christie - posted on 08/29/2013

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I moved from Texas a year ago to be with my husband. The friends I had in Texas I guess are too busy for me now that I'm so far away. Whatever. I suppose they weren't that good of friends anyway. I have no idea of how to make friends anymore.
Well, I will be your friend : )

Christie - posted on 08/29/2013

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I suppose you can't level with someone who just doesn't get it. I feel your pain. Where are you from if you don't mind me asking?

Ashley - posted on 08/29/2013

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Hi Christie, I too am a stay at home mom. I'm married to an army officer, and I have had a similar problem as you. I have met some women here but none I would call a friend. It can absolutely be draining when you just need to blow off some steam with a like minded individual. I feel like I can talk to my husband about anything, but it's not the same. He isn't in my position, he doesn't know my daily frustrations and struggles. I too would kill for a friend who is in a similar place and that I could level with. I'm in NC, far from what I used to call "home." I have had friends I'm losing touch with because we just aren't on the same playing field anymore. They haven't known the struggles I have and their daily lives are lacking any sense of meaning or responsibility, so how do you level with someone like that?

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