Seperation Anxiety

Trich - posted on 10/12/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My little man seems to suffer a lot from Seperation. it got so bad at one stage that when anyone else held him he would hold his breath till he went blue.

i am unsure what the best way to help/stop this is any ideas???

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Trich - posted on 10/13/2009

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Thanks for the advice guys. its not that he needs bonding time with me i spend all day and night with him, its more when he sees other people and even to the extent sometimes he wont even go to his dad.

I have tried all sorts of things, he used to sleep with me on the lounge for his day sleeps, but has always slept in his crib at night, i have recently got him sleeping back in his crib during the day but this is not the problem

i was hoping it was a fase he was just going through but its been happening since he was 5 months old and he is now 11 months

i would love to leave him with Family for a few hours so he gets used to being with other people but as mentioned before i dont have anyone close to me to help out.

since he has learnt to crawl he isnt so bad with me leaving the room at home as he now just follows me around or happily plays in his Lounge( we have a very big open plan house)

i attend playgroup, and kindygym for him to socialise with other children his own age and he is fine playing with them, but if i was to leave his sight he gets all upset even if he can still hear me.

I am really hoping that i can get him into day care soon, but we are on waiting lists as we live in a smallish community and they only have limited places.

Sarah - posted on 10/12/2009

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Hi Trich
I don't have my children sleep with me because I would never get any sleep myself but do agree that bonding with your children (which can be by sleeping with them) and letting them know that you are always there for them (and will always come back) will help with confidence. My son went through this for a little while - it didn't last long and I hope it is the same with you. Don't worry too much because most little ones go through it at some stage but if you are still concerned try short separations. Leave the room for a min when you come back grab her and give her huge cuddles and make her feel loved and show that you missed her and would never leave her. Good luck with it :)

Brandy - posted on 10/12/2009

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I would do what Tanya suggested but also I would suggest sleeping with him. The bonding time he gets with you at night will make him less needy during the day. I know everybody says that sleeping with your baby will make them more dependant but it's sooo not true and more doctors are pointing in that direction lately because of recent research. Actually, it used to be the only way to raise a baby before somebody decided we should put them in cribs. My daughter is 17 months old and very confident in social situations, she doesn't need up all the time, she doesn't whine. But when she was born she wouldn't even sleep without touching me and the second I put her down she would scream bloody murder. I believe that when babies are like that, it's because they really do need you and sleeping with her really helped her get through whatever it was she was going through. Good luck.

Trich - posted on 10/12/2009

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thanks, its made harder by the fact i dont really have family around i can do that with, we have just recently moved beacuse of my partners work and i dont have any family that are close enough to help :(

i am thinking about putting him in day care to see if this will help

Tanya - posted on 10/12/2009

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My baby girl is he same way. So my attack plan was to take her to someone else's house aka Grandma's and let them watch her for a hour, then next time longer, and so forth. This also helped her bond with my mom. Before if I was even in her sight or she knew I was there she would cry until I came and got her. This is hard on me because I have very little time to myself. plus, it drives my husband crazy. Since taking her out of the house without mommy for outings she has been slowly bonding with her family around her and I get a break.

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