Seperation Anxiety

Krista - posted on 01/10/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My son is 14 months old. My daughter is 2 months old. It is a busy house and most days the entire day is blur of diapers and feedings. lol My question is this as a new mom.... When my daughter was born my son was left here for 3 nights with a nanny that he had known for some time. I had to be rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night to have a c-section that we did not really plan for. I had put my son to bed and when he woke I was not there. I think this started his seperation anxiety. Poop little guy. Now he wakes up to 4 times a night. I have tired to stick to a routine with him to help with bed times. At least now I can get him to understand that it is time for bed. He just cries out for me all night long. I feel so bad that I go to him and he just hugs on to me so tight. What can I do to help him understand that I a mnot leaving hom and get him to sleep though the night. He is so tired. He is not a great napper either. Any help would be great. I am lost and confused.

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Bonnie - posted on 01/11/2012

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Don't feel bad about leaving him for a few days. That does not bring on separation anxiety. Separation anxiety is normal at this age. It will pass eventually. Sometimes you may need to let him cry for a little bit, but if you haven't already, try sitting by his bed while he is trying to fall asleep. Caress his face or rub his back and keep telling him it is okay and that you are here for him.

Kay - posted on 01/10/2012

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Please don't feel bad about leaving him with a nanny that he has known for some time while you were in the hospital for an emergency c section! It might not be this at all. You have a new baby and everything has changed. This can be a difficult transition for any two year old. It is hard to be two! He was used to being the center of attention and now he has to share you with this new little thing. There are lots of things that can cause his sleep disruption. Maybe the baby's crying wakes him up. It does set off a vicious cycle...he wake and cries for you and you go and comfort him. Two year olds are smart. He learns that when he wakes and calls for you then you will come.Just try to think of ways that you can get him back to his normal sleep pattern . There are lots of suggestions on this site. But don' t put a lot of pressure on yourself right now. The whole family will be exhausted for awhile! Soon things will settle down. He will realize he will still get lots of attention and you can deal with the night time waking problem. Sometimes it does involve letting him cry for 20 min. Before going in to comfort him by just patting him but not picking him up until he gets back to self soothing.it might be necessary . It is important to realize that you are doing the best you can and don't feel bad about having to leave in the middle of the night for all the fun at the hospital! All Moms feel guilty but that is also a vicious cycle. Just take one day at a time and soon all of you will be sleeping soundly! Best wishes

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