Seriously need advise on my childrens behaviors

Samantha - posted on 05/21/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I am about ready to seriously break. I'm aware that negative replies will will come of this but I need to get it out for real!
I have 3 daughters 10, 4, and 2. I am a stay at home mom but not by choice. I have Hodgkin's Lymphoma and am receiving treatment for it. None of children are aware of this yet and my 10 year old thinks I am losing my hair and losing weight because I am stressed out.
They all feed off each other and throw huge tantrums, fight, scream and so on. I have joint custody with my 10 year old and all they do is spoil her and it makes it very hard when she comes back to my home. My husband had to take on more hours at work to pay for medical bills and to pay the normal bills. He has one day off and that's all. Even with being ill i still do what i need to do for the cleaning feeding laundry shopping sports events etc. I do not have any family because I was in the foster care system and just really have nobody. I am affiliated with my church but they go above and beyond to help when i do my treatments.
The situation has escalated to extremes where I will try and miss my treatment appointments because all i want is peace. The only time they are not screaming and yelling at each other is when they go to sleep which thankfully they don't have an issue falling asleep or bedtime routines.
I have tried schedules and they work for a bit and then it doesnt work. My two year old is stressed from all the fighting and she is always exhausted like I am.
Hitting my children is just not an option. I don't see them learning anything if they hit and I go tell them not to hit then spank or slap their hand. Time outs reward charts etc work for a little while maybe the first 2 hours of the day but then it turns into a constant time out day. I put together learning activities to keep them busy and they still find something to fight about. Playing with them is hard because they all fight for attention even with board games. I try spending equal amounts of time alone with them and during those times they are well behaved.
I love my kids more than anything and I don't want to leave them without a mother but clearly I am not being a good mother at all.
I just need some serious help and i don't know where to turn

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Fergusonbev40 - posted on 05/21/2015

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i know what your going through i had lym cancer also and fought it i have a adhd child 8yrs old shes been on vivanse now shes on concerta, i hope this one works been on every med out there, she has been mad all the time, has behavior problems

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