Severe separation anxiety

Mel - posted on 07/31/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My 9 month old has severe separation anxiety. He is my 3rd child and the only one I breastfed. I'm wondering if breastfeeding has something to do with it. For the most part I'm a stay at home mom. I worked for a bit when he was 2 months old and my mother in law watched him. We didn't have much problems then, as he was so young. There would be days where he slept all day with her or cried all day. But he mostly slept. He eats every two hours. Even during the night. I have introduced solid food but he still prefers breast milk. I do not bottle feed. I pretty much have to hold him all day long. I can't set him down for a second or he screams. I've tried letting him cry it out but he will literally cry until I pick him up. Be it 10 mins or half an hour. He will cry non stop. I feel terrible when he cries and won't let him cry longer than half an hour. Even that is too long. I can sometimes sit him with his siblings and they can hold his attention for as long as it takes me to go to the bathroom or shower but that's it. Same goes for sitting him with his dad. I love the bond that we have but it's getting kind of ridiculous. I clean while holding him. Cook while holding him. Brush my teeth. Everything. I've started to let the cleaning slack as it is overwhelming to hold him and do it all or sit him down and hear him cry. I have one of those baby gate play pens or whatever you want to call it that he sits in but I have to sit with him or he cries. I haven't sat on a couch in months! It gets so bad sometimes that even when I'm in there with him he has to be in my lap or he cries. Please help! Anyone going through or have gone through the same thing? Any suggestions?

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Tanya - posted on 07/31/2015

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My daughter was exactly like that...no one was able to hold her only me-NOT EVEN DADDY. I kinda just toughed it out and slowly let others hold her for a few minutes. I never let my daughter cry...ever...so I don't think you should, I agree that it's extremely heart breaking hearing them cry. I think I wanted it to be the way it was when I look back (my daughter is 2 and 2 months) although I was complaining non-stop about it. The reason I'm saying I wanted it that way is because I didn't trust anyone but myself.

Eating every 2 hours at 9 months seems a bit odd to me. I think he just likes to use you as a pacifier...try prolonging the hours slowly during the day. You can try the MUM-MUM crackers.

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Tanya - posted on 08/01/2015

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She actually grew out of it when I started being comfortable with letting other people hold her... It was extremely hard for me...I started with dad..lol...I'm not divorced and happily married but she is my world.

Mel - posted on 07/31/2015

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Thanx Tanya. I have major trust issues and don't really trust anyone either. With the exception of my mother in law. He won't even go to her anymore though. I think he uses me as a pacifier too. When did your daughter grow out of it?

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