Should a Mother Go Back to Work Once Her Children Are Big Enough

Autumn - posted on 07/20/2014 ( 9 moms have responded )




Ideally, I want to stay home until my children go to kindergarten, but my mother believes that a woman should work full time whether she has a small child or not. What is your opinion?


Marlene - posted on 07/23/2014




If you can stay home until your kids go to kindergarten then go for it. I would love to be able to stay home with my kids until they are all in school but unfortunatley I can't. If u are willing and able to, I think its a great decision. Not only are you saving a ton of money on daycare cost, you are being a part of your children's childhood through and through...something both u and ur kids will be thankful for in the long run. I know mothers mean well and perhaps your mom is thinking of your financial benefit by telling you to work but at the end of the day its your life and your choice, do what makes you happy. Being able to stay home and raise your kids is a blessing...and a luxury not all moms can afford...if you can do it, all the power to you mama.

Chet - posted on 07/21/2014




This is the sort of thing each family has to decide for itself. There are so many different factors to consider you can't say every mom should work. or every mom should be at home.

Right now, our kids are 10, 8.5, 6 and 4.5. Our four year old won't start school until next fall. Even when he does though, I won't go looking for full time work.

Our kids come home from school for lunch, and after school they get home before 3pm. I volunteer in the school a lot. My husband has a fair amount of short notice travel for his work, and also works very long and erratic hours. Our kids are involved in a lot of activities which require a significant time investment from myself and their father. Also, as our kids get older, I really value being around and being able to know their friends.

Two parents with full time jobs just would not fit into our lives very well.


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Leslie - posted on 07/27/2014




It's really a personal decision, it doesnt matter what your mom thinks. Women tend to be exceptionally hard on each other, we're constantly defending our choices by being agressive with our convictions.

Personally I will be staying home for now, we just had a second baby and are looking at two more, im also not doing traditional kindergarten and may just go the homeschooling route altogether, but we shall see how things go. What works for me and my family is not in any way a reflection of how every family should do things and I think thats something many of us forget.

Your mom likely had to work by the sounds of it and your choice is making her feel insecure in her own choices. Rather then taking the time to think about how staying home might work for you, she's thinking about her own negative perceptions. She might feel you're selling yourself short, she might be jealous you have the choice,she might think you're being lazy, she might think a number of things, but none of them are right. You know what feels right for you and your family, dont let your mom get under your skin, and dont allow her to disrespect you if you do stay home after all, we all need positive support not criticism.

Teresa - posted on 07/24/2014




I was all Molly McButter with my first and stayed home a total 6 months! Then I went stir crazy. I am NOT a stay-at-home mom. and that's OK. It's all how YOU feel. I found a wonderful daycare (My MOm and Grandma) until he was 16 months and then I put him in daycare and he flourished. He stayed in the same facility through pre-school. I have my second son (2 1/2) there since he was 9 months. He loves it. DOn't stress yourself out about ideals. It's what's best for you and your family. WHat was best for mine was me working and them in daycare. They are now 10 and 2 1/2 and happy, healthy kids.

Mariela - posted on 07/21/2014




when the child is small staying at home is fine but even pre-K can help you get back with grown ups, and unless you have a big family or neighbors your children will make friends their own age.

Mariela - posted on 07/20/2014




I think mom should get to work when possible, the kids can socialize better with other kids, and moms need intellectual and emotional stimulation of work if possible.

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