Should I call CPS??

Brandi - posted on 09/18/2015 ( 6 moms have responded )

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So I have posted here before about my neighbor.. And things just keep getting worse. Her daughter just turned 3. What I mean by getting worse is her little one has now been developing seizures. A little info: she gives her 3 year old Benadryl daily, sometimes more then once a day. She says she does this when her daughter acts out and she needs a break. I have told her that is not good for her but she refuses to listen and even said her doctor told her she could (I don't believe it at all! No doctor would tell a mother to drug her child daily so she can get a break!)

So the problem I'm having is this. She already has a CPS case open on her. She came to my house last night at 11:00 pm with her daughter, yes I asked why she wasn't at home and in bed and was also aggravated that she would ring my doorbell at such a late time. Her excuse was she missed me because I wasn't texting her back or answering her calls. I haven't been talking to her because when she though I was a free babysitter since I also have a three year old and I put a quick stop to that. Then she proceeded to inform me about how her daughter had a seizure the night before while she was in the car. She said that it only lasted a couple minutes but she has no idea why she had this seizure because she wasn't running a fever. She has seizures when her fever is high occasionally, I knew this. But what I'm thinking is maybe she overdoses her daughter on this Benadryl so much that it is causing this. Also, I do believe a seizure shouldn't last a "couple minutes" and the mother not take her baby to the hospital? I honestly think this woman is ignorant. And she is weaning off of chemo and radiation therapy from what she told me and she is constantly shoving pain pills in her mouth. So I know her judgment must be affected by this, but to have a child have a seizure in the car and not even take them to the hospital? I'm really thinking about calling CPS. I never thought I would have to do this in my life and I'm having a hard time with the guilt that I'm having of possibly separating a mother and child. She also has a newborn boy. Who she says she gives him rice in his bottles so he doesn't eat as much, this baby throws up non stop and she just keeps doing this. I just want to cry. I don't think she knows how to properly care for children. Her three year old walks around in the same saggy diaper all day long until she takes it off and throws it. When she was at my house she used the potty and when I told her mother she laughed and said she doesn't have time to potty train her.. I think I should call. But is what I have a really good reason to call? I've only ever heard of drug addicts that leave their children or people who abuse them physically having CPS in their lives. But I think this is a big thing that I know I can't ignore and I have tried very hard to tell her but she blows me off and says she knows what she's doing... Ugh

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Michelle - posted on 09/19/2015

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I think you already know what you should do. Like Jodi said, you don't want to not call and something happens to those poor children.
You also don't need to "wean off" chemo and radiation therapy. You don't need to take painkillers when you have finished the treatment unless it didn't work. In that case she would be terminal. That part doesn't add up. I have had family members go through chemo and radiation therapy.

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Michelle - posted on 01/07/2017

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Locking due to this being a very old thread.
You are more than welcome to start your own.
Michelle,
SAHM Admin.

Taneisha - posted on 01/07/2017

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I can relate to that woman on so may levels. 5 years ago CPS came into my life I was in a very fragile pregnancy, extremely high risk! The stress of possible miscarriage because of their involvement came just after my 2nd trimester started. I was already very ill from having severely high blood pressure prior to my pregnancy, but was pregnant (had five miscarriages prior to this pregnancy) and trying to juggle the lengthy list of medical needs that my oldest has (she has Lupus) on top of her going to school. I could barely walk, lived in a second floor apartment, my house was a wreck because I could barely move....never mind climbing 2 flights of stairs everyday to get my daughter to and from school. Once I would get to my door I could barely breathe....everything from grocery shopping to cleaning seriously was physically impossible. On top of that I fell down the apartment stairs(prior to my pregnancy) which left me with herniated discs and permanent injuries to my leg and spine. Making being pregnant and moving (for any reason) severely painful! CPS was called because the property mananger said I had environmental neglected my home. My daughter was clean, had clean clothes, well fed, medically needy due to having Lupus, but overall beautiful and well balanced kid. CPS was unfortunately in my family's life for 3 years. My family and I fought to stay together in spite of the difficulties we were facing.

She is raising two kids close in age and recovering from chemo! She is dealing with a lot and yes may need family services for some resources to help her manage her life, but talk to her first! See if there is any reasoning with her before calling the government. Things may not be as cut and dry for her as you are seeing. She could be stressed from illness and managing a new baby and a toddler. Postpartum and cancer fighter. She has a lot going on amd definitely needs help for she and her babies. There is always a bigger picture to consider. In the long run these kids and their family could either saved or damaged for a long time as a result of CPS taking them away. You don't always get rational minded CPS workers investigating claims of neglect or abuse. Some really make it hard for the families to reunite or to stay together once they are involved wth a family. There are other avenues of resources to consider to get this family help....every dr has a social worker that can talk with the family and get them couseling....outside of CPS. I hope whatever you choose to do does in fact help this poor woman.....I know her pain all too well. Good luck and God bless you!

Ana - posted on 10/16/2015

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Grown people overdose on Benadryl. It's really strong stuff that should only be taken 1 time per 24 hrs.

That little girl is in danger and so is her brother.

Sounds like the mom is postpartum too.

Does this lady have family?

I have a wacky mom neighbor myself. I'm keeping my eye on her. She left her 18 month old son on his bike in the drive way while she went around the corner to get the mail. I drove up in my Van past her and around the corner to see him alone. She also lifts weights constantly in the hot sun with her new born in his seat screaming and she just keeps lifting. It's too hot for him. She carries him in her arms like a sack of potatoes almost like he's not even there. Just scary looking.

I'd say help the kids first by calling and this will also help the mom. I'm sure they are tired of the crazy behavior too.

Jodi - posted on 09/18/2015

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If you are even asking this question, you are best to err on the side of caution and make the call. If nothing comes of it, then so be it, but you would never forgive yourself if something bad were to happen and you didn't call them.

Ask yourself this:

What's the worst that can happen if I do call?
What's the worst that can happen if I don't call?

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