should I confront my husband?

Joyanne - posted on 07/11/2011 ( 29 moms have responded )

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My daughter brought me two condom wrappers (My husband and I dont use them) wondering if I should confront my husband or just act like nothing happened, I have had trust issues in the past for forgave him for not being honest and unfaithful, now that I have seen these- not sure what to think. please help me!!!

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[deleted account]

If your going to marriage counciling I would bring it up while there. Its a safe neutral enviroment and he will be incouraged to say the truth. Dont let this go. If you do it will only eat you up inside.

Tamara - posted on 07/11/2011

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I would talk to him about them but not in a confronting way, More of a Oh My look what your daughter found, I wonder where they could have come from? in a light tone, Coming at him with an accusing tone guilty or not he is going to toss his defenses up and all hell can break loose.

Mabel - posted on 07/11/2011

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Well be sure before you do.If they weren't there the last time you used the case then they came from somewhere.

Marcia - posted on 07/13/2011

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Just wanted to say I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you and I hope he's not cheating!

Nayuribe - posted on 07/13/2011

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oh wow! well, if he ain't using condoms with you, then who is he using them with?? thing is, if he is cheating, and didn't want u to find out, then he wouldn't have left the condom wrappers in a place where your daughter could find them. so, deep DEEP down, he wanted you to find out. if u let this one slide, you'll find yourself do it for the rest of your life!!!! GOOD LUCK!!

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Amanda - posted on 07/26/2011

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Its worth discussing. If they werent in there the last time you used the case, and he didnt let anyone else borrow it, then he has some explaining to do. Cheating is the ultimate insult to your spouse. Whats worse, is that he didnt have enough respect for you and your child to put them somewhere his daughter wouldnt find them. Hang in there!

Amanda - posted on 07/25/2011

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Now you are free to meet Mr. Right for you! Good luck to you hun! I've been a single mom of 3 boys since January of 07. I caught my ex husband constantly lying. I couldn't take it anymore. I went back to school, almost have my degree and I wouldn't have been able to do that had I stayed. Just remember it takes time to find yourself again...even when you think you are ready, take your time getting with someone new. I thought I was ready last year and got with an emotionally abusive man. Only lasted 8 months because I finally got to a point where I was able to stand up and call BS...but not quite ready and open for the right man to be let in. I still felt like I needed to be someones savior. GOOD LUCK and remember, you are not alone! Virtual HUGS!

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Sorry to hear Joyanne! I know it might not seem like it now, but its for the best. I'm sure there is something that is going to come of this that never would have happened if this didnt!

Joyanne - posted on 07/18/2011

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well my husband and I spit up not due to the condom wrappers but I caught him telling his cousin that he was just "sticking it out for our daughter" so while he is not sticking it out he also doesn't have our daughter. thanks everyone who tried to help me!

Stifler's - posted on 07/14/2011

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But on the other hand I found condom wrappers from 4 years ago in my husband's old bedside table.

Louise - posted on 07/13/2011

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Where did she find them. I don't think I could let this one slide. I would confront him and see what he says. Just be prepared for a truthful answer from him good or bad.

[deleted account]

I would do what I said before, because he needs to know he has been caught. Then I would seriously ask for a divorce and child support. I really feel sorry for you. No matter what you need to do what you feel is best for your child(ren) and not have any regrets or questions. The choice is yours and only yours. Good luck and lots of love and prayers!

Joyanne - posted on 07/12/2011

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well I asked him if he cheated on me would he wear a condom he said no- I don't like condoms. well I already knew that hints us having a child...but what got to me is "he wouldn't wear a condom if he cheated on me"...which is just BS and gross as HE**.

Allison - posted on 07/12/2011

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I agree with Tasha, with your councilor would be the best place to bring it up, and if your lucky you could get it all over and done with at once.

Kimber - posted on 07/12/2011

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NOOOOOOO don't just throw them away!!!!!!!! That way when you do confront him about it. He want beable to get out of it b/c you have it right in your little hands!!!! If you have had to deal with him and him being unfaithful befor,and now your own daughter brought you some opend comdom wrappers whow i know i would be one mad wife. I think that you sooooooo need to find out for sure if he is being unfaithful to you again,so you can get the hell out of that marriage,or he can live,but you just never know what kind of std he can bring back to you!! But iam not sure how you are sopose to go about confronting him about this,other than if it were me i would just say something like oh well look what ever your daughter's name is brought to me today!!! And the both of you already know that yall don't use condom's,so see how he reacts to all of that,and then i would just go from there girl! Well anyway good luck to you on this subject,and i hope the best for you,and for your daughter. I also hope that you find the answers that you need to know,or want to know! Good Luck Girl!!!
All my best to you,and yours- Kim

Natasha - posted on 07/11/2011

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I think you have every right to assume if it happened before and no one pack a suitcase that has things already in it, confront him about it in a friendly manner they might be from the past who knows but if you dont find out you will let it eat you up, or ignore it and go on with life. I would confront him though.

Joyanne - posted on 07/11/2011

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@BRANDY- wouldn't say I am anxious to hear the answer, but I m not gonna stay with someone who obviously doesn't love me or our family-we have had previous problems that included other girls and we have been doing marriage counseling...not sure if this is helping our cause ill just have to see what our counselor thinks before I do anything too...thanks everyone!

Brandy - posted on 07/11/2011

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I say only confront him if your ready to hear the answer. Even if he tries to lie you might still see trough him and then you have to make decisions.

Brianna - posted on 07/11/2011

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if u dont use condoms and u found wrappers then he must be cheating! you have to say something! you deserve answers! by not confronting him you might as well say its ok to sleep with other woman! be strong and im sorry ur in this situation..

[deleted account]

If you want an honest faithful relationship, confront him but without getting crazy:). If you want a relationship that you pretend and ignore problems, dont say anything.

Kristin - posted on 07/11/2011

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Definitely confront him! 1. if somethings going on you need to know and 2. if nothings going on with him then its even more important to find out where she got them!!

Joyanne - posted on 07/11/2011

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well the wrappers where empty and exprie in 2012, she (my daughter) was playing in a suitcase that I have used mulitple times and haven't came arcross them which makes me think they weren't in there.But I don't want to jump on him out of assumption.

Mabel - posted on 07/11/2011

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Honey I hate to even think of how this is making you feel.I would be furious!I would say something but make it to were he can't lie and get out of it.Make sure you know he is doing something and then ask him about the condoms.

Oh and don't let him try to blame it on a friend or someone else.He can't tell you he is "just holing those for a friend".

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