should i get divorced or seperate

Tanya - posted on 01/28/2013 ( 6 moms have responded )

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my husband was very loving and attentive right through pregnancy and first 9 months of our sons life, but since then hes not really useful or interested .
hes very controlling, refuses to let me have a say in financial matters, also hes lately started invaiding my privacy. over last few days hes logged into my facebook and read all the messages from my friends and family which were personal, also logged into and changed the passwords to several other sites, has linked his email account to mine.
hardly helps out with housework, or willingly takes our son out. To get him to do this it takes about an hour fight .
Most days he refuses to move out of bed til on a good day 1pm on bad day 6pm.
we are fighting almost everyday over pretty much everything from if i should get a job to who should change the next nappy .
our son is now 2 and he knows how much daddys mean words hurt me and has started telling him he is naughty.
really not sure what to do . open to any and all suggestions

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Tamika - posted on 01/31/2013

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On that note-ask yourself-would you want your son treating a woman this way? If you had a daughter--would you want her treated this way? Kids often grow up to repeat what they see...keep that in mind. It was my motivator!

Tamika - posted on 01/31/2013

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Sounds to me like you have your answer-i moved in w/ my mom when my point wasn't taken seriously...i was lucky that it made my hubby work harder...but in reality-you want to be happy...even if that means not married...

Tanya - posted on 01/30/2013

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I have tried many time talking to him, each time i get accused of whining or making a big issue out of nothing.
Also keeps saying im stupid for even thinking about leaving in any way

Tamika - posted on 01/30/2013

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I do not agree with staying together for your children...I just don't...a happy home is more important than 2 unhappy parents. My husband and I separated-it sucked for my kids-we did end up getting back together after a couple months-but it was very much needed.
FIRST-if he is invading your privacy-you need to find out WHY-most people that accuse are guilty-so what is he doing that he is guilty about? If you DO separate and get back together-or if you DO try to stick it out-he needs RULES! Tell him you are his partner not his child. He is to trust you until you do not deserve that trust. Let him know just how serious you are about wanting a happy life more than a miserable marriage! My husband now cherishes me! He knows I am not going to stay in a miserable marriage-and that I want my kids to grow up knowing how a woman should be treated. (Though my kids will probably demand a husband that does more than most men-as my husband really does do anything I ask now...) I am not saying you should be in control-BUT you fell in love with this man for a reason-and that reason appears to be gone??

Lakota - posted on 01/28/2013

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I agree with Wilmarie. Also, something must have happened to make him all of a sudden act like this. People don't just changed drastically like this for no reason. Try to find out what happened.

Wilmarie - posted on 01/28/2013

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Tanya, I am so sorry to hear that. I would suggest actually having a talk with your husband about how you feel. Sit down with him and explain to him what is bothering you in a nice clam matter. And see how he responds. If that doesn't work and things still don't change you may want to look into going to couples counseling together to help your relationship. I wouldn't suggest a divorce or separation especially when you both have an innocent child involved. Your son needs both you and your husband. My parents divorced after 20 years of marriage and it devastated me and my sisters. Try and work things out first for your son's sake....hope this helps :-) I wish you the best of luck! God bless!!!

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