Should I go back to work?

Anna - posted on 06/17/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I have been a sahm for over 3 years now. My kids are 3 1/2yo and 21 months. Now that my youngest is getting older my husband wants me to go back to work. He's becoming very unpatient with me to find a job but I am TERRIFED of the idea of going back to work! I think that my youngest would benifit with one more year atleast with me.

Money isn't an issue just my husband thinks that the extra money would be nice. I love my babies and don't feel I can just drop them off at daycare and go on with my day, not after being home with them so long. Not sure what I should do.



Do any of you have this problem?

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Debi - posted on 06/17/2010

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Call up a few day cares close to you get the prices for part time and full time for two... Its not cheap show him how much it will cost to send them to a daycare and then show him how much you would make going back to work. Plus if you work full time you might need help with stuff around the house that you normally do he might change his mind till at least the oldest is old enough to go to school good luck.

Rachel - posted on 06/17/2010

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I'm bringing in extra money by being a nanny to an 18 month old boy and get to bring my own son with me who is 14 months. It's great because it's only 4 days a week and I also get paid for holidays and when the parents are on vacation. Now I still get to spend every day with my son and my husband is happy for the extra income!! I found the job in this site: http://www.care.com/

Cyndi - posted on 06/17/2010

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I don't know what you do, but would it be possible for you to work in the evenings when your spouse/partner might be able to watch the kids? That's what we do... my husband feels like I am contributing and yet i still get to be home with them during the day and avoid daycare.

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Melany - posted on 06/24/2010

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I think there is some great advice here already. Going back to work is not just paying for childcare. You have to have 'work' clothes, you will have more doctor's visits because your child will be around more children and will get sick more often. Who is going to take off to take the child to the doctor? Definitely sit down and look at the financial side completely and stress your case. It definitely would not be very much 'extra' money with two in daycare.

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being a sahm is a blessing.. for all of you.. trust me.. if going back to work just to have some extra, is not worth it.. plus like some others have said it cost a lot anyways.. sahm is a lost recognized blessing now a days, it all about money now.. which is not the most important.. sacrifice may be necessary but still important.. you need to seriously talk about whats more imp with your husband.. personally i wouldnt want someone else raising my kids all day esp if its not worth the so called extra money

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i would look at daycare prices in your area, compare to what you would make going back to work and sit down with your husband. If you go back to work you have ALOT of cost. Would it be worth it. daycare, clothes, food, travel. For me it wouldnt pay to go back because what I would make would barely cover daycare. That maybe a winning point for you if you dont really want to go back.

[deleted account]

I'm not facing this problem but I have decided that when we've ha dour second child and he/she is also in school I will find a part-time job. We think it's important for me to be home with our children through their early years rather than putting them in daycare. It's the way we were brought up and our view is that if you have children you should look after them yourself rather than stick them in daycare. I'm glad we can afford for me not to work as I'd hate missing out on my son developing and learning new things.

You could negotiate with your husband the possiblity of returning to work when they are both in nursery/school maybe.

Alice - posted on 06/19/2010

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Anna,
When I went back to work my 3rd was just 5 wks old. To do just daycare, I would have to have made $15/hr (after counting taxes, b/c the govt takes a lot). I counted up daycare cost (at a decent place, not the most expensive), extra "convienence" food (b/c we wouldn't be able to cook in bulk from scratch), extra gas, extra wear & tear on vehicle, and the spike in insurance cost (it doubled when we changed the vehicle use from "occasional" since I only used it Sundays to visit grandparents to "work"). The only way we could afford for me to go back to work was if I worked early mornings (he already worked 4 to midnight+ and couldn't change his schedule). We did that for 17months, but after the first month he didn't like it because we had no time as a couple! lol! So I found a stay-at-home job that wasn't a scam and came back home full time.
I'd suggest you write up all the costs for you going back to work such as daycare, work clothes, etc.(if he doesn't know how/like to cook, be sure to include increased convience food - that's a huge expense!) and total it, then talk to him about it with the real numbers. If you would be shelling out extra money just to go to work... he may realize that and see that it's financially better for you to stay home.
Have you thought about a stay-at-home job? Though most are scams there are some good jobs that aren't scams and offer at least a decent income.
Hope this helps!

Ashley - posted on 06/17/2010

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I am not facing that problem yet but i will soon and I do not even feel close to being ready to let them not be with me all day ... so if you figure it out let me know

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