Should I have a baby now or wait?

Carole - posted on 01/02/2012 ( 10 moms have responded )

45

0

2

I just turned 33 and was planning with my husband to start trying to get pregnant shortly after my birthday. Things are going really well with our business, though, and we're thinking about pushing that back until I turn 34. I feel like the extra time would really solidify some things and make our lives (and those of my step-daughters) much more secure, but I'm afraid of being almost 35 when my baby is born (assuming it all goes according to plan!) That will make my step-daughters 12 and 15 when the baby is born, which also makes me sad bc they will be wonderful older sisters but I'm afraid as teens they'll enjoy the little one less. In terms of family relationships, everything is solid; it's purely financial but that's a big deal when you have two heading off to college in a few years. Thoughts? If you are an "older" mom would you do it again or should I kick things into gear? If you are "younger" would you have waited or are you glad you did things the way you did?
Also, I already work from home and care for my stepdaughters the majority of the time when they're here (almost every day). I would have the option to go full-time mom when the baby is born or continue in our business in a limited capacity. Thoughts on this?
Thanks!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Brianna - posted on 01/05/2012

1,915

22

352

i dont think u should wait any longer. i have a 2 year old daughter and then i had 2 miscarriages and im now 5 weeks pregnant.. because u are older the chances of miscarriages are greater and it can also take longer for older woman to get pregnant so i mean so many things can happen so who knows maybe if u start trying now u wont even get pregnant until a year from now. i think that if u wait a year to start trying and then end up having troubles getting pregnant u will regret not trying soon. best wishes

Chrystal - posted on 01/04/2012

431

2

76

I'm a young mom (26 with 2 kids) I knew I didn't want a career so after college there wasn't the personal goal of having a career to keep me from starting a family so I never had a desire to wait. We wanted to be young enough to really enjoy ourselves after our kids were grown and to enjoy being grandparents too. As far as the money is concerned it is important but if you really think about it you'll never have a kid they are expensive and anything thing can go wrong at anytime leaving you broke. I don't regret my choice at all we were ready and we make the money work. When it comes to being a stay at home mom I always tell people if you can financially then give it a try if in 6 months you hate it you go back to work. I got a degree even though I never wanted a career because I wanted to know I had options, you've got options so take advantage of it.

10 Comments

View replies by

Deonna - posted on 01/12/2012

40

33

6

Carloe,



i am 27 and pregnant with my third child who will be born in June. I had a plan that i stuck too and that was to have all my children before i was 30. And i have to its a choice that has its ups and its downs because when your young you have that chance of exploring life and meeting new people and having fun while your young, but being older your settled and comfortable and established. there are a lot of women that prefer to wait until their older and that's fine for me i am glad that i did it because when i get your age i want to enjoy my time with my husband like i want too and do the things that i wasn't able to do when i first started having kids.

Aimee-Grace - posted on 01/06/2012

102

37

28

I am an "older" mom, I had my daughter at 36 (she is almost 3) and my son at 38 (he is almost 1). I did have a miscarriage before them at 34. I say go with your gut,either way will be fine. I had great pregnancies and healthy kids. Whatever you do, just know that "plans" don't always work the way we want them too. :) Once we quit "planning", after our miscarriage, we got pregnant. I think we put too much pressure on ourselves trying to get pregnant.
Good Luck!!!

Kay - posted on 01/06/2012

102

0

22

Go for it ! You sound like a very responsible, caring person. I am sure you have a lot of love to give to a baby. Best wishes

Roxie - posted on 01/04/2012

55

0

2

Well as a young mom (25) at first i thought that i wanted to wait, but we decided to go ahead and have our first child, he was born 3/7/11. Now i am so glad that i did it now. Now i didn't have a specific career path that i was in beforehand so i didn't have a problem with staying home, but i'm using this time while i'm home to set myself up to go into a career when the kids are growing up. That way i can incorporate my career into my kids and not my kids into my career.

From experience from your step daughter's perspective, me and my younger brother are 14 years apart. My parents got divorced and remarried and my mom had my half brother at 36. It was different because there hadn't been a baby in the house since my younger sister, 9 years ago. But we fell in love with him!! kisses and hugs all day :0) Now he's 11 and i'm 25 and my sissy is 19, and it can be hard because we aren't as young as him, but my mom made sure she set "family nights" once a month so we can all hang. I just this past weekend had a "sibling sleepover" and we made pizza with Jay and got a wii game and he had a blast. I say all this to say, don't be afraid, they will love your LO like he/she is their own. There is never a perfect time that can be generalized for every woman, but who knows this could be YOUR perfect time! Everything will work out as it should whether you decide to wait or not.

For me and my husband, now was a perfect time because of where we were in our lives. With Love guiding you have no fear, your family will be fine and embrace baby. Expect trials and tribulation on occasion because nothing is ever perfect, but love always conquers all!

i hope that helps :0) Message me if you had any specific questions about your daughters and how my mom integrated my little brother and made having a baby fun if you want! I'm always on here lol

Crystal - posted on 01/04/2012

369

20

50

I had both my kids in my mid to late 20s, and I wouldn't have it any other way. If you want children soon, you might have to consider that it may take you a year or longer (or shorter) to get pregnant. With my 1st, I was 25/26 and it took us a year to get pregnant with him. My second came quicker, within a few months of being off BC. So that is something you may have to weigh as well if you decided to wait. At the same time...women are having children later and later .. have you talked to your Dr. about it?

Michelle - posted on 01/03/2012

5,046

8

3249

In my experience if you wait for the "perfect" time to have children, you more than likely won't have them.
I had 2 boys in my mid 20's (my 1st marriage) and then had my daughter when I was 35. When I had the boys I went back to work when they were pretty young and then ended up being a single Mum for 5 years and had to work full time. It was hard work but I had the energy to do it. With my daughter, I was a SAHM for 18 months and have only just gone back to work in the last few months. I only work 2 days a week, 4 hours a day and it's great. I wouldn't have the energy to work full time and look after the 3 kids.

I have also found that I am a lot more patient now I'm older than when I had the boys. There are pro's and con's for both sides but I know the pregnancy was harder on me in my 30's compared to my 20's.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms