Should i have to ask my husband for money even though i work too?

Caroline - posted on 11/30/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Hi Eveyone, I,ve been married for 14 years i have two girls one 15 and one 9, i work 21 hours a week come out with about £700 which i get paid monthly. My husband gets paid weekly so my wages cover the big bills for the month - so i do not see a penny of my wages at all.



I have to ask my husband for money have done for 14 years and i'm getting so down and depressed with it as everytime i ask he says what do you want that for you are only going to work you dont need it so hence he does not give it to me.



The last straw was a few weeks ago i was going to Derby with work in my car on a training course i asked my husband for car parking money, his response was you don't need money as there are no car parking levies in Derby, I did not know this but would have been nice to have a little bit of change in my purse incase of.

I feel so frustrated at times my children get more money than i do (Pocket money) I feel like i am in a no win situation. I have had enough to tell you the truth i don't ask for any money now as i am just so fed up of the response. What should i do next?

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Amy - posted on 11/30/2012

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I'm on the other side of this because my spouse can not be trusted with money. We closed our joint account and I opened my own a couple of years ago, his money was direct deposited into my account and he would get spending money each day. If he needed more than what was given I would get it for him but it was my way of protecting our assets. I do think you should always have access to cash for those emergency situations, sit down with your spouse and explain it from your perspective. Just out of curiosity where does his money go if you are covering all the bills??

Melissa - posted on 11/30/2012

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I have never understood married couples who don't have a joint account. In marriage you should be one and everything should be shared. I think what you need to do is sit down with him and have a serious talk about why things are the way they are and how you feel about it and listen to what he has to say about it and why he feels the way he does. But communication is key in resolving any conflict.

[deleted account]

Why do you even need to ask for it? Do you not have a joint account? Money isn't just for one person, when it comes to a marriage. It belongs to the household.



I would ask to set up one joint account. That way you have access to the money when you need it without asking.



The first year of my marriage we didn't have a joint account. It was so frustrating for both of us, for me to have to either ask for my husband to come with me to the store so we could use his card, or ask for cash. In our case we were just so busy that first year, we never had the chance to go to the bank and get it taken care of.

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This is what my husband and I do so that I do not have to constantly ask for money.

We each have a set amount of money that we can spend as we see fit each week without having to confer. It's the same every week--like an allowance. We came up with the amount by adding up all of the bills at their highest possible amount, then subtracting that from my husband's income. Then we looked at what was left and divided it between him, me, and our savings.



Big purchases do have to be discussed, but by doing it this way, I know that I can spend my money on whatever I wish, without having to tell him about every little purchase or ask him first, and there will still be $$ in the account or bills.

Caroline - posted on 12/01/2012

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Hi All

Thank you for all your coments, Yes we do have a joint account, just can't really draw from it - as with all the bills going out it would make us over drawn and incur charges, so a bit more complicated, It's just a no win situation for me i surpose i have to stick at it for my childrens sake - it was nice to know there are people out there i can talk to. Many thanks again xx

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