Sibling rivalry

Tiana - posted on 10/10/2013 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hi I'm new to the site and I'm looking for some ideas about dealing with sibling rivalry and one child has ADHD.

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Debbie - posted on 10/12/2013

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You don't say how old your children are but I will make an assumption that there is at least someone who's 4 or older. Sibling rivalry is the bain of every parent! How do we keep our homes from becoming a combat zone with sarcasm, and degrading slang as well as jealousy and discontent? As a young mother I struggled with that too. I found that I was also the target of anti-mom protests and temper tantrums that stemmed from the unruly behavior between siblings. All I ever wanted was to be a good mom and raise happy children. I was considering giving it all up when out of desperation I found the most amazing book called, From Combat Zone to Love at Home: The Happy Face Token System. The author was describing my household and I instantly related. The system is made for mom's happiness, but because of the nature of the program, the children will do and accomplish otherwise thought to be impossible, tasks and objectives. They earn tokens in an unusual and simple way that I could control and be consistent with. They also lost tokens in a way I could control and administer without losing my cool and authority. They cash their tokens in for things on the reward list. These are things that the kids love, but often drive you nuts. For instance, stay up 30 minutes later on a school night, have an extra snack, have mom do the dishes, have mom make my bed... I found that the sibling rivalry improved dramatically because I encouraged them to play nice together to earn tokens. When they would share with each other, they earned tokens. Over time they became good friends. This program is a long-term family-building experience and is nothing short of amazing. The book also comes with attitude shaping charts as the children grow into more responsibilities. The author used all the charts she shares and I must admit they work well. Your ADHD child will love the token system too, because of the consistency factor of what is required to be able to get the desired reward. In fact, the author claims the more difficult the child is, the better the system works. There are a couple of sites that talk about the system I will give you for review maybe something will click. Good luck.
http://desperatemommy.com
http://christcenterdparenting.com

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