Sibling Rivalry! HELP!

Tisha - posted on 06/16/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Has anyone ever felt like their kids hated each other at a young age? I have an 8 year old girl and a 5 year old boy. From the time my son was born my daughter has never been excited about having a sibling. She was 2 years 10 months when he was born. The night my parents brought her to the hospital to see him she seemed excited. Then the nurse came in to take him to the nursery for a bath. When the nurse brought him back 20 minutes later she said "Oh, why is that baby back?" Two days after he came home from the hospital she asked me when we would be taking him back to the hospital and it has been down hill ever since!! My son has always adored his sister, but she has always been very hateful to him. Now here lately he is starting to treat her the same way. I can't compliment one of them without the other one getting bent out of shape. I can't do something for one without the other one getting upset. I try to keep things equal and not do for one if I can't do for both but something has got to give!!! I can't always reward both of them if only one of them deserves it!!!

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Chelsey - posted on 06/16/2010

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You can't make everyone happy all the time. Some people/kids just don't like certain others and just because they have the same parents doesn't mean that they are gonna like each other. I have a sister who is 2 1/2 years younger and we don't get along and don't speak and it's been that way since we were little. You just have to teach your children that they are going to have people in their lives that they don't care for, but that they still have to learn to act civily towards them. Of course you should reward good behaviour. If the other child hasn't done anything to deserve the reward then thats that.

Medic - posted on 06/16/2010

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So don't reward both of them. Just stick to your guns. It teached humility and they ability to be happy for someone else. They are going to have to learn that they can't always get what they want. I have two brothers and we would fight so bad our parents just sent us to the back yard to fight it out. But god forbid anyone else messed with any of us and now as adults we have had our major ups and downs but we will always be there for eachother whether or not we agree with what the other is doing. We were not raised in this new everything is fair generation that seems to be going on. We lost games, got cut from teams, didn't get invited to bday parties, and didn't always get the trophy, not everyone got the something on the others bday, and nothing was the same across the board. I think its a shame that kids these days are being taught by schools and society that everything is fair. We all earned our rewards and everyones were different and you know what as much as we told our parents they were mean we survived and I think we are better for it. None of us got the slap in the face of reality when we went out into the real world of lifes not fair. And yes we all spend a lot of time in our rooms with no tv, no cell phones, no computer and only allowed to come out for dinner and not allowed to speak to eachother. So just don't give in once you do they will use it against you. And for the record.....I never let on that I loved my little brother till he was 17 with a drug problem and had gotten kicked out of our home. He then moved in with me and after a few fist fights he got his act together and is now in the Air Force and an amazing uncle to my two kids.

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Tisha - posted on 06/16/2010

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they don't fight. fighting is not the problem. she loathes him. She has asked me numerous times recently if it is too late for me to put him up for adoption. (she wasn't joking either). she makes it very clear that she doesn't like her brother. it's been that way since he was born

Christina - posted on 06/16/2010

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Kids fight... I remember big fights with my brother when we growing up over a lot of the same things you mentioned (my mom used to call it the counting game because we were always tryin to keep score on who did what last or more) and I know it seems stupid but really taking turns with things can make a big deal or with somethings one always goes first like your daughter always showers first but your son always hugs dad first... and as for rewards make them earn it and if they dont earn it they dont get it! They will probably still find ways to fight but as they get older they will fight less hopefully I know my brother and I dont fight anymore

Medic - posted on 06/16/2010

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No I ment don't reward the one that doen't deserve it I thought I made that more clear i'm sorry.

Sandee - posted on 06/16/2010

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I don't know where you are try to barrow a DVD called
"123 Magic" also I believe there is a part 2 called "More 123 Magic" just search it. hope it help. let me know

Tisha - posted on 06/16/2010

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So you think that if one of them does a good job and deserves a reward but the other one doesn't I shouldn't give a reward to the one who does deserve it? I am all for teaching them that life isn't fair b/c it's not and I agree that they both shouldn't get the same thing just to make it fair but i don't think the one that does good deeds should have to suffer b/c the other one is jealous! But it really goes beyond being jealous of the other one getting a reward. They fight over everything from who gets the first hug when their dad gets home to who gets to take a shower first to who is going to choose what we watch on tv to, it goes on and on!!!!

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