So I really do have a friend....

Angi - posted on 05/31/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I have a friend that I met thru my mommy and me play group. Her daughter is about 1 1/2 year younger than mine, but they love playing together for the most part. The mom is a really sweet lady and I like to hang out with her... HERE is my problem....

In my opinion she is verbally abusive to her child that is almost 3. I don't remember the exact situation but she called her daughter retarded for not doing something. Or the child was getting in the fridge and licked some chocolate off some desert, then she called the child a little shit and yelled at her. When the kid threw itself down on the ground for some more chocolate she just yelled some more then said fine but you can't have chocolate. Then proceeded to get her some chocolate out of a bag on the counter.

So my daughter really likes playing with this child even though she bosses her around sometimes. I never let my child go over there with out me and I really don't like for her to hear how the mom talks to her kid. I know I am lucky and I usually dont' have problems with my child.
So my question is... Should I space myself from this mom, Should I say some thing to her? She is not from here and doesn't have many friends here. I hate causing trouble, but I don't think I can hear her call her child retarded agian!

Sorry for spelling errors, I know I am a horrible speller!

7 Comments

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Angi - posted on 06/01/2010

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Thank youi everyone, pretty much just told me what I needed to hear. I was thinking that I needed to space myself. It really bothers me her talking to her child like that. Makes me very uncomfortable. I think at hte next play group I will talk to her on the side. Then just space myself. She lives in my subdivision and even tho the girl can be alittle bit of a handful, my daughter really like to play with her. I have been looking for some more kids closer to her age.

Kelina - posted on 06/01/2010

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You could let her know that you would prefer she didn't talk like that while you and your daughter were around, or you could distance yourself. The thing is, even if you do distance yourself, this verbal abuse is still going to go on. It's really your choice, and it's always difficult inserting yourself into others lives, but if you're thinking of distancing yourself from her, it might do some good if you do say something rather than just leave. Good luck!

Tamara - posted on 06/01/2010

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As suggested try outtings if it continues remove yourself and your child from it. If this is bothering you chances are it is bothering your daughter to, she just doesn't have the right way to express it yet.

The way I see it (others probably will disagree) she is also abusing you and your daughter. Being around the yelling and belittling is hurtful and it breaks your spirit even if it isn't directed to you.

As far as saying something its a fine line It would depend on how close you are with her and if she is the type of person who is really open to things. It sounds like she isn't.

Good luck

Rose - posted on 06/01/2010

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I had an issue with my neighbor/friend she has twins and my daughter would play with her two kids and everything was great when they were babies and I really like the mother. But was the twins started to get older there started to be problems .... They werent parenting them telling them no or time outs and they were hurting my daughter. luckly this became a problem right as the crapy winter weather and holidays started. And we just stoped getting together. I would still talk with there mom from time to time. Which was hard but i really like her. Anyways I thought it wasnt my place to bring up a convo like that to her and yours seems the same they could take it the wrong way or over-react. Good luck! I know it isnt fun and its hard to find kids and parents that you and your children like.

Christina - posted on 06/01/2010

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For your childs on being you definately should space yourself from this mom. I agree with Emma. You should try a public outing with her and if her behaviour doesn't change then maybe you should let the friend go. If you feel her behaviour is more than inappropriate and is very harmful for her children then you may think about letting someone know about it. Good luck!

Emma - posted on 06/01/2010

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i wuld space urself frm her completely as its nt really fair on the children if they get on so well try meeting her n go out rather than stay indoors u may find she only behaves like that in the comfort of home, if there is a crowd around n she still does it u may find anufer parent may say sumit if not then she obviously nt gr8full 4her kid n shuld b ratted on so 2 spk as that is y kids end up they way they r nowa days coz they think its hw u treat others n its not rite

it may look like a lot but hope it helps

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