So lonely being a SAHM... what can I do?

Sarah - posted on 05/14/2012 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I'm a SAHM to my son who will be a year old in less then 2 weeks. I'm SO lonely especially since lately my boyfriend took on a part-time job on top of his full-time job.
He won't be home until 9-10pm tonight and left at 6:30am. most days are like this, he's even started working every second saturday! I've told him over and over again that I don't want the extra income, that I could do something for work if we really need the money. But he just tells me I have to stay home with our son. I don't even have a highschool diploma so even if I went to work I'd be making very minimal money, since childcare is so high (and I don't really trust it anyways) it's almost pointless for me to anyways...

On top of it all my son still wakes up 1-4 times a night so I don't even get that time to myself. I have no friends because I got so depressed during my pregnancy, plus I'm young so other moms don't want to hang out with me (I'm 18). I live 30 mins away from town so getting to me is a pain in the ass too.

Help mommies!! What should I do?

4 Comments

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Louise - posted on 05/15/2012

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Right Sarah this is what you do. Go and speak to your local high school and tell them you want to come back to school to graduate and see if there is anything they can offer you either night school or day classes with a creche. If you really want to look towards a better future for your son and you then you need to graduate at least. It would also give you access to other young mums in the area and a social life of sorts.

You do not have to sit at home all day alone, join the mums and tots group usually run by a friendly church although you do not have to be religious. It will get you and your son out the house and talking to other adults, which everybody needs. It is scary to take that first steps but do it. You have to make a life for yourself or you will always be lonely. People are not going to come to you, you have to go out and find them!

You could always do an on line course when the little one is in bed, but this would not give you the added bonus of physically seeing people and forming friendships. Make a few enquiries today and take that step to having a happier fuller life. Go on be brave!

Gina - posted on 05/15/2012

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Oh!!! Sara, don't you know that you have the most beautiful job of the world? It's a lot to do when you have a little one. Keeping your home clean, laundry, write notes to people, go to the mall for a walk. Read to your child even if he is sleeping, plan dinner (the whole week) and you do have a computer, so you can chat a little bit.
Go to the park and meet moms, I'm sure you will fin out more information where to meet other mothers and have the babies play together. Good Luck!!!

Rachael - posted on 05/15/2012

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Being a SAHM is lonely and i understand were your comming from. You may start to feel less isolated. by joining a playgroup or even going to a park where others mums will be and start up conversation while the children are playing. Have you concidered studying from home or taking up an interest or hobby? Its easy to start to feel like you have lost your identity so doing something that is beneficial for yourself could help loads :)

Megan - posted on 05/14/2012

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Girl, I am in a similar position as well but I am 25 with 4 children. My oldest is at school during the day but I still have three of them ages 4, 3, and 9 months at home all day with me. My husband works long days as well and I have NO time to myself ever! I have been battling depression as well and only have about a handful of friends but they all work. Being a SAHM is very tough! Having no adult interaction will drive you crazy. I am taking it day by day now and trying new things with my kids and different routines so things don't seem so redundant. I definitely understand where you are coming from, but think of how luck us SAHM's are getting to raise our children instead of paying a sitter to do it for us. Try to stay on the positive side of it. At night once your baby is asleep, then make some time for yourself...go into another room and grab a bowl of your favorite ice cream and watch a movie or even just a show you never watch anymore...promise you will feel better! Good Luck and remember, you can do this!!!

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