Jodi - posted on 09/16/2010 ( 71 moms have responded )
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I am a very proud stay at home mom, I love what I do and wouldn't trade it for the world! BUT, there is one particular comment that gets under my skin that I just don't know how to respond to! It's always when people ask if I work. I always say, "Yes, I'm a full time mommy." And the lmost inevitable response is, "So you just stay home?" Gah! I don't want to start a fight or come across as a b*tch, but I also don't want to just say yes! Most recently it was my new OBGYN and then my physical therapist (carpal tunnel). It's never said with derision or meant as a dig, just as a clarification of what I do...or don't do as I'm rarely actually home all day, but it is a bit offensive!
So, how would YOU respond? And does this little comment get under your skin too?
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Kelina - posted on 09/17/2010
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lol, i watch alot of reba so whenever someone asks me what i do, I answer that I am a domestic consultant. It usually gets a laugh and they know exactly what i'm talking about! I also got this e-mail a while back, it's abit lengthy but i hope you like it!
A woman, renewing her Drivers' Licence at the Motor Registration Office,
was asked by the counter clerk to state her occupation.
She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.
"What I mean is," explained the counter clerk,
"do you have a job or are you just a ...?"
"Of course I have a job," snapped the woman.
"I'm a Mum."
"We don't list 'Mum' as an occupation,
'housewife' covers it,"
said the clerk emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Medicare Office.
The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like,
"Official Interrogator" or "Town Registrar."
"What is your occupation?" she probed.
What made me say it? I do not know.
The words simply popped out.
"I'm a Research Associate in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations."
The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in mid-air,
looking up as though she had not heard right.
I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words.
Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written,
in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.
"Might I ask," said the clerk with new interest,
"just what you do in your field?"
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice,
I heard myself reply,
"I have a continuing program of research,
(what mother doesn't)
in the laboratory and in the field,
(normally I would have said indoors and out).
I'm working for my Masters, (first the Lord and then the whole family)
and already have four credits (all daughters).
Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities,
(any mother care to disagree?)
and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it).
But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are
more of a satisfaction rather than just money."
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she
completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.
As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career,
I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3.
Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model,
(a 6 month old baby) in the child development program,
testing out a new vocal pattern.
I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy!
And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished
and indispensable to mankind than "just another Mum." Motherhood!
What a glorious career!
Especially when there's a title on the door.
Does this make grandmothers
"Senior Research Associates in the field of
Child Development and Human Relations"
And great grandmothers
"Executive Senior Research Associates?"
I think so!!!
I also think it makes Aunts
"Associate Research Assistants".
Lisa - posted on 09/21/2010
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omg this absolutley drives me crazy!!!!!! I had a hard time enjoying it for along time becuase i felt like i was looked down on for it!! .........for instance i died my hair and it wasnt quite the color i was wanting soooo i was going to do it a little lighter, she suggested i wait, and i responded that i just felt like it looked brassy..........wait for it.........are you ready to hear what she says to me????? She says to me that its not like i work so why does it matter!!! Yep thats what she said....so along those lines why get dressed at all, or wear makeup???? sorry just a little venting LOL
Lea - posted on 09/17/2010
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This reminds me of an email I got awhile back that basically has a husband coming home from work to find his home in total chaos, kids in disarray running around in PJs, front door wide open with a trail of toys and stuff from inside out into the front yard, refrigerator door hanging open with the kitchen a nightmare. He follows the trail of toys and mud up the stairs to his bedroom to find his wife in bed reading a book (and probably eating bon bons). When he asks whats going on she tells him: " you asked me what it is I do all day when I stay home so I decided to show you."
I love it! We do tons more than others will ever know..even our husbands sometimes. Don't sweat it. They're all careless idiots that don't think before they speak. And if they do plan to say those very words I feel sorry for them. Their parents probably had to work when they were young (like mine did) and they never stayed home with their own kids. Its hard but definitely worth it! Wouldn't you agree?
Some work because they have to work to support their family. Others work because they want to. Chosing to stay home and put your children first is sometimes a hard choice for most to make. Those that do make it reap the rewards of precious time and memories with their children, raising kids who are more self-confident and firm in the the knowledge of who they are. Kudos to all you stay at home moms!
Chantelle - posted on 09/21/2010
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I can relate my fiance has actually asked me why I need to put make up on after all I just sit at home with the boys. Just because we stay home doesn't mean we don't need to do things for ourselves. I put make up on because I can, I straighten my hair because I can, and I need some new clothes because I deserve to look nice in spite of what I do or don't do in other people's eyes. People that aren't stay at home parents don't understand the many sides and jobs to what we do.
Marisa - posted on 09/19/2010
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I got offended as well when people made comments like that to me. Before baby, I worked a full time job, did 2-3 internships and attended classes for my masters degree ...all at once! Every day I was working from 7am until at least 10pm every night. Let me tell you, being a stay at home mom is more work! You should be proud of the fact that you are a stay at home mom. It is a 24 hour a day job...with no breaks! I would not give up being a stay at home mom for anything in the world. Don't let those people make you feel like what you do is not work. Maybe they are jealous because they have to work or maybe they don't understand the importance of raising your own kids! Cheers to you for raising your own kids!