Some ideas for a Mommy Time Out?

Katherine - posted on 09/27/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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Hello to all the brave SAH mommies,
I am new to this and am counting my blessings that I have found a site like this! I am a proud sahm of a soon to be 20 month old little boy. He is my pride and joy. However, we have just learned that our bundle of joy is in his "Terrible Two" stage and has been for a few months now. I am with my son pretty much all day except for nap time and the couple of hours that my husband spends with him when he gets home from work. He works anywhere between 10-12 hr shifts 6 days a week. Not including drive time. So, I am with our baby the most. Anyways, I am just curious to know if any other moms have ideas on "Mommy Time Outs"? I love my son to pieces, I couldn't express that enough however, when the tantrums strike and the misbehaving starts not only does he need a time out but so do I. By the end of the day I am exhausted and trying to get the hubs to fully understand is like pulling teeth lol I have tried several things to calm down and few of them worked. Just curious about any other ideas to keep me from having a melt down without it affecting my busy schedule of getting things taken care around my house.

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Angeline - posted on 09/30/2009

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OMG i am on the same boat...my hunny work 10 hrs a day and I also tried to tell him how hard it is...and i have three girls that are all four years apart oldest is 12,8,4 so they all wine and beg and always asks for things...the most i hate is they all screaming and yelling so i do the same... my hunny says i shouldnt scream so much...i told him just because you work doesnt mean u dont have to help out wit the kids...try helping and spent time wit them...well tghat didnt go well...he did that one day...and i am right back where we were...its hard...the only time they listen is when i tell them its time for bed.... i would like some ideas too.and i only get alone time to myself once a month...

Cheryl - posted on 09/30/2009

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I have the exact same problem with my15month old son he hitting the terrible2stage too. I have booked him into a nursery2 half days a week 8am to 1pm where i if im not working!! can get time to my self and cach up on anything i have to do. You could try this and see how things go they need to learn they cany have mummy all the time what about when thet start pre-school. Hope this helps x

Andrea - posted on 09/30/2009

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Depending on how big your community is try getting involved in an activity. Like for me, I bowl on Wednesday nights. I live in a super small town in the middle of nowhere in Arizona. Anyway, it's the one night of the week that my man has to tend to our daughter and I can reclaim the pieces of my sanity that are slowly slipping away everyday.



I also have a 7 year old stepson who lives with us in the summer. During that time I swap with another mom and have playdates. For example, her son will come over on Tuesday and I can take my stepson over on Friday. Even when he isn't here we still switch and her kids come hang out with me and my daughter goes over to their place.



Another option, if you can afford it (I want to but can't!) is to send your little one to a daycare for a day or two a week. Even if it's just a half day at least he gets to socialize and you can take a bubble bath or just finish the laundry in peace and quiet.



Like Kathy said, it's very important for us to recope. It sure is!!!



Good luck to you,

Andrea

Darci - posted on 09/29/2009

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I have a 3-year old, 2-year old and a 4 month old. And, terrible twos haven't been too terrible for us most of the time. I try to practice Love & Logic (google it) most of the times. Which is pretty much giving kids choices (most of the time) that you, as the parent, can live with. I find that when I give them choices with the easy things like: this shirt or that shirt; walk to school or drive to school, this snack or that snack... I get more cooperation when I make a decision for them when it's necessary... we need to get shoes on now or we will be late. I recently read the book "Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours" which deals with reality discipline (similar to Love & Logic). It was an easy read though a bit dated with some of the real-life examples. It mostly talks about letting real consequences be the teacher. This weekend, my 3-year old daughter didn't want to change her clothes so we could transition from church to going to a birthday party... We ended up arriving at the birthday party about a half an hour late.

Katherine - posted on 09/28/2009

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Thank you Kathy for the encouraging reply! You sure do have your hands full and from the sounds of it, a grip on things :) My son is on a great schedule that I can't complain about. Bath, bedtime story, and tucked in for the night by 8:30. He sleeps till 7:30 am and nap is at 12:30. He is rather a great little boy. Keeping him on a schedule is very important to my little family. I am however guilty at turning down offers with friends for lunch or dinner some times because I do feel guilty doing some of these things. I don't feel comfortable enough to leave my son with a sitter other than my husbands mom. Which she is great with him. I have a problem that I am working on, and that is letting someone else do something for me. I don't like not have control over a situation, it stresses me out. I am guilty at thinking that someone else can't fulfill his needs while I am gone or busy doing something else. Hence the reason I stress myself out and tired my self out by the end of the day. Taking on everything. Something I have been working on for a while now.
The time outs have been working in our favor and my son caught on right away. He is not a big fan of them but knows his father and I mean business when we put him in his time out corner. He responds well. I do admit that I am a strict mom but please don't get me wrong when I say that. I do allow my son to have fun. I just want him to know that I am the adult and he will learn to respect his adults. I will take your advice and take my friends up on offers more often. Its a little difficult for me but this is one more challenge that I am willing to take :) Thank you for listening and sharing some in sites on you and how you raise your family.

Kathy - posted on 09/27/2009

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hi Katherine

I wish I could tell some great thing to do but I don't really have one. It is so hard being a SAH mom, but it is the most important job you will ever have. I love this group because we all need encouragment. I have 2 teens, a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old also. needing a time out doesn't mean you don't love your baby, it is just very important for us to recope.

You have to take care of you before you can take care of him.

I always make sure that they were/are in bed at 8:00pm unless church got in the way and then home brush teeth and go to bed. Then I would have time to me for a cupple of hours. Also don't be afraid to ask someone close to babysit for while. Take people up on their offers. Also stay constant with his time outs so he knows you mean bussiness. My oldest was in time out from the time he got up until he went to bed for 2 weeks. ( it seemed like a year.) but he finally got and then life got a little easier for me too. You will get through this, it is an envestment you wont see the results for a long time, but the pay off will come when is all grown up a tell you what a great mom you were to him.

hang in there we are all with you

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