sometimes I feel unappreciated

Sarah - posted on 10/01/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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Don't get me wrong I love my hubby but I sometimes feel like I am unappriciated and like a single mom, I stay at home with my 6 week old son all day, cook, clean, and give him baths by myself, while my husband is outside helping his friends w/ cars four-wheelers etc. even at night I don't get help from the hubby I wake up in the middle of the night and feed him myself (breastfeeding), sometimes I feel like ending my relationship w/ him because I know I can do this on my own and what is the point of him being there, I try to talk to him about it and he just says oh boo hoo is this feel sorry for you day, what can I do it really hurts my feelings and I really feel like he doesn't care anything about me!

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Sarah - posted on 10/05/2009

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I can totally relate. My husband used to be at eachothers throats because we both felt under appreciated. I felt I wasn't getting any help and he felt I didn't appreciate the fact that he works so hard and so much so I don't have to. It took me leaving a couple times to get him to realize that I do everything for him and the kids. Of course I took the kids with me, and he wasn't pleased. I hate that it came to that, but now we are much better. I think men need to be shown that we appreciate them as much as we need to shown. Now if ur man doesn't work, then he's useless. JK. U don't need a man to be happy or to raise a child, but it is very hard to do everything. Take care of the house, the child, work, grocery shopping, making enough money to pay the bills, and take care of urself. Of course, my husband just started taking prozac, now he's the man I need. Good luck to all of you. Don't let a man rule ur life, unless he's worth it. They need to know they are not gods and will not be treated like one, until the favor is returned.

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Rhonda - posted on 01/26/2010

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also, there's a reason why it takes a mommy and a daddy to make kids, so it should take a mommy and a daddy to TAKE CARE of the kids and household they've established together....it is VERY hard alone!

Rhonda - posted on 01/26/2010

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Im not a SAHM but I have been following all of your topics on sex and hubbys. I don't think it is very fair but men are still stuck on the whole "male dominant" society outlook. It pisses me off too. I hear your stories about being a stay at home mom and it seems the even you can't get all the work done that needs to be done in one day, on top of that put full-time student like me. He thinks since I'm going to school and I get to sometimes take fun classes to fill up my class load (and keep some sanity!) that my role is less significant than his. He does have a hard stressful job and puts up with lots of bull-poop, but still if you add it all up there isn't much difference between physical and mental (work: him, school:me). I've tried telling him about it and he just either laughs or gets pissed off at me for griping. Back to society and the way men think about women and women's roles, it is very clear they are old fashioned! I'm not even going into how he acts about sex and when i refuse......but, Also, just a side note, statistically men who watch more porn tend to think women want sex more than they really do, especially your tipical MILF!

Tiffany - posted on 10/05/2009

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i know how you feel sarah its like we have the same husband, we have to boys austin will be 7 in january and travis is turning 5 oct 7 and im expecting another, the hard part was he was there like the first couple of years but then i noticed that he was spending more and more time away, it hurts, i know, the way i feel is that if im going to be alone why am i married we even talked about a third child thats what gets me so mad, he also has a four wheeler, and he is a vol. fire fighter, plus he works full time, and then there r the friends, but in all when he is here its good so what i am saying is i know how you feel but your the only one that really knows what to do i hope it helps im sure he'll come around as he gets older, the baby i mean lol

Sam - posted on 10/02/2009

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yep i sure know where your coming from.I stay home with my 2 nearly 3 yr old daughter and my 3 month old son.Yes its hard work,having the two kids,cleaning and cooking and doin it all alone.My partner works on the oil rigs.He is gone for 3 weeks and only home for 1 week.We have has big issues in the past and i just sat down and said,look im the one who keeps this end running.Yes you make the money,but if it wasnt for me he couldnt work away to earn good money.Its so hard because as he comes home,he wants to rest from work,but "hello" so do i ! I tell him that as soon as he walks in the door i could hand him his kids and say,right my shifts over like he does at work.But i cant, im a mummy and mummys dont get days off( or i dont).So deal with it. Get ya ass into shape and take some pressure off me and look after ya kids.I tell him even if he can watch the kids while i get a shower in peace or cook,without 1 child screaming for my attention in 1 direction and the other trying to climb on the cooker lol,.................

there has to be a balance and,yes it is hard but i tell him straight.Look deal with it and respect me for what i do.He goes to work,finishes,gets a shower in peace,has his super cooked for him and goes and watches tv.Im the 1 who has to cook super and try eat it b4 one of the kids needs me for "something" and have a shower with a 2 yr old that finds it funny too empty my shampoo and conditioner lol............

So i fully understand how you feel and all i can say is,tell him staright.There his kids aswell and he has that responsiblity to help you.

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There is a book. It's called the Love Dare. Its from that Fireproof Movie. It might help turn him around and how he treats you. It has helped me with my marriage alot. You can buy it at any book store I believe. Walmart even carries it. Praying for your husband might help to. I know when I cant get through to my husband. God Can. God Bless! Praying for you!

Christina - posted on 10/01/2009

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I know what you mean, i stay home with my 2 babies, out 14 yr old is off to school, i take care of the babies by myself and let him sleep in until 10 or 11, then i ask him to keep an eye on them so i can shower. he looks at me and laughs, and goes back to reading his book.......then naptime comes i go to take my shower, and he joins me?! WTF i dont want turned on i want to wash the baby spit up, poo, pee, toddler mess, and food off of me. he doesn't get it, take care of the kids for 15 min let me get myself feeling 'sexy' and then we can have fun. but thats all my hubby wants from me, sex, sex, sex. and i am not all about it now, i am to tired from being up at 630 am and not going back to sleep at 1 am becuase my husband annoys me and trys and trys and i dont want it........ i want to sleep i even try to be asleep b 4 he gets home and he still wakes me up. my hubby dont care about my feelings just his sex drive.

i just give in now, i dont moan or nothing, maybe he will start to tell i dont want it, if he would help me once in a while, like make lunch once a week, would be a great start. i might even find him sexy once agian. :-)

maybe we just need to talk to our men, i know they dont think of things the same as us. i leave my baby with my hubby once a week, i tell him i have an appt. and he dont know any better. :-)

Crystal - posted on 10/01/2009

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ok.. where to start..i am a stay at home mom with 3 girls.. one is 8 so she goes to school.

my husband works 7 days a week the only day he has off is christmas day.. really! he works from 4:30 am to 2 pm 7 days a week.. then on mon. fri. sat he does that and goes back to work from 4 pm-1am WHEW!

so even with all that working he still finds time for me and the kids.. he can sit down and literally fallasllep in the chair.. he goes grocery shopping for me.. changes diapers. and he certainly does not mock me if i am having a bad day... excuse my language but if my husband acted like you i would tell him to go fu.... himself.. i also breasfeed... if you need to talk you can find me on facebook under crystal pool/adame

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