Son does not like his daddy

User - posted on 09/27/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Since my son was born, 18 months ago, he hasn't really taken to his daddy. We all lived together until my son was 5 months old, when him and I moved in with my parents' while my husband lived and worked out of town during the week and we saw him on the weekends. We are not living together again, but my son would rather be with me and only me.



While being at SAHM, I love every moment with my son, but when it comes to my husband coming home, and me looking to clean up some and just take a breathe, I can't get it because my son doesn't want to have anything to do with my husband. He screams or fusses if my husband grabs him to get a hug or something. Is this a phase? A phase that has lasted for 18 months?



Even before we moved, he would cry for my husband. He has never really been around kids growing up like I have, so he didn't know how to handle a little baby, but as the year has passed, I would have thought he would have picked up on some pointers from watching EVERYONE else play, and my son enjoying all of them.



Any advice on this situation? Is it because I'm with him all day? I wouldn't have it any other way, but I worry about his father/son relationship as he gets older...not to mention my house getting clean at SOME point :)

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Amy - posted on 09/28/2012

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It's completely normal for a child to prefer one parent over the other. Your husband should set up fun activities to do with your son where you aren't there for your son to turn to. He should take him to the park, zoo, children's museum, any place fun and start bonding with him. Leave your son home with his father while you run errands, you have to give them an opportunity to bond without you. It's going to take a little effort from both of you to help foster this relationship especially since there was a period of time where he only saw him on the weekends.

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Katrina - posted on 09/29/2012

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Just give him time, and as dove pointed out, if he doesn't see his dad much, it'll be like being hugged by a stranger. I wonder if doing family activities like painting, blowing and popping bubbles, collecting leaves, twigs, etc for a collage, etc, might help your son to see that his dad IS a safe person and him being around, will not make him miss out on his mum. Definately baby steps and never force him to do anything he isn't ok with.



My little man has "helped" do the dishes since he was little and letting him help was the only way to get it done. We used to pack up together (toys) and with the other general tidy up I'd do a super fast job of it after he was in bed, when I had a shower I'd get thew squeegie out and run it over the shower recess and then rinse, things like that,takes only a few more minutes but saves a bit of time later for when you have none to spare. Join your son in either "helping" to clean up etc, or try chattig to him about things he's doing so he's distracted from the fact that you're not right beside him. Oh and folding the washing while you chat can get it done too. Although, I'm saying this, and possibly he's so clingy he may not even get off your lap. If you're having alot of trouble I'd ask a close friend or family member to come either to watch him so you can do things around the house, or help you get it done. I wish you the best of luck. I'm sure they'll bond over time, before you know it. :) xxx

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