Son easily frustrated

Nikki - posted on 02/27/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi Ladies! My son will be 4 years old in April and he gets frustrated VERY easily. So, he gets very angry and he cries a lot. He yells at his little sister (2) when she doesn't do what he wants or if she doesn't agree with what he is saying. I'm having a hard time teaching him how to not be so frustrated and how to control his anger. It's getting really frustrating for me and I find myself yelling at him, which probaby makes it worse because he's modeling my behavior. Any advice on how to help him control his anger and help him get less frustrated? TIA!

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I agree totally with Julie's comment.  The only thing I would add is to try and have a discussion with your son, after he has calm down and is ready to rejoin the family, about other ways he could have chosen the handle the situation that up set him in the first place.  For example, my son starts screaming when he doesn't want to share a toy with his little sister.  After he calms down I try to remind him of other ways to handle the situation, like play with the toy at the kitchen table where his sister can't reach or taking the special toy to his room to play with by himself.

Julie - posted on 02/27/2009

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My oldest child is 6 and the exact same way. He also tends to be a little compulsive about things like having to have all of his toys put away exactly right or his clothing has to be a certain way so he doesn't feel "bunchy" or he gets very frustrated. I have found it very helpful to keep him on a very strict routine so that he knows what to expect. When he is having "the big one" over someone not agreeing with him or his sisters messing up his plan and will not calm down or let me try to rationalize with him then he has to go sit in his room until he feels ready to calm down and be reasonable. We have done this for almost two years now and he can now recognize when he is losing it and he will tell me that he needs to go have some quiet time in his room. Just keep consistent with a method and they will learn that the behavior is not exceptable, though they may still struggle with it eventually they can learn how to help control it. I hope this helps a little!

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