Stay at home mom to a 2 1/2 year old...6 months pregnant very depressed

Rachel - posted on 02/06/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I never thought I'd be writing in one of these but I'm so lost right now and have no where else to turn. I'm 26 and I just moved 23 hours from all my friends and family and quit my job of 8 years to move from Virginia Beach to Tulsa for my husbands job promotion. I always dreamed of being a stay at home mom but now that I am I feel selfish because I'm so depressed. I find myself constantly breaking down and having to hide from my son so he doesn't see me cry. I have absolutely no one to talk to all day...no friends...no family...I recently started going to church but their ages there are 50+. My husband doesn't understand at all. He says he works all day too but he doesn't get that he actually gets a lunch break and gets to talk to people. I've been searching for a job but once people see that I'm 6 months pregnant I never get a call back. People told me to do pampered chef or Mary Kay or whatever but I can't pay for my son to go to daycare in hopes that I might possibly get a sale especially when once again I don't know anyone. I feel so trapped and I just don't know what to do. I feel selfish for even complaining about it. My husband was in the military before we had our first child and I know there's moms who have to deal with this with out a husband at all for months and months....

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Laura - posted on 02/06/2014

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I would love to be in your shoes. I know it is hard to be a stay at home mom. I once was to, and it does get depressing. Our family situation has changed and now I am working from home doing a job that I dislike, and to top it all off I am the main income now. I wish I could turn back time and be where I was three years ago, taking care of my kids being able to go out and do whatever i want. Be thankful your husband is able to provide for you and your child, and try to enjoy every minute:)

Chet - posted on 02/06/2014

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Look for a playgroup, check the library for mom and toddler programs, or sign up for an activity that you and your 2.5 year old can do together.

You could also try starting your own playgroup. Some people run them out of their home, or your church might be able to offer you a space. A lot of the playgroups that I've attended ran out of churches. They weren't religious, the church just donated the space.

Try to get out of the house for a walk, or look for prenatal yoga or aqua fit. Exercise will help your mood. Walking is something you can do with your two year old, and Ys and rec centres often have drop in daycare... or you could find something in the evening when your son is in bed.

You could look for kid friendly volunteer opportunities... like visiting seniors and running errands for them or dog walking for shelters.

It might also be worth mentioning to your doctor at your next prenatal visit that you're feeling really depressed.

It is really difficult to be isolated with young children all day, and honestly, it cam take six months to a year to really settle in after you move and get to know people.

Have you looked at these websites?

www.tulsakids.com
kids.tulsalibrary.org/whatshappening
tulsametromoms.tripod.com
momsclubtulsa.webs.com/howtojoin.htm

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