stay at home mom who's really struggling...

Sandra - posted on 11/12/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hi, my name is Sandra Walker. I have a about to be two year old son. When I was working and going to school I was able to have free child care assistance. Now that I'm no longer doing neither, I am a stay at home Mom, and have been for about 6 months now and I'm going crazy. My bf works all day and then comes home and it gives me a break, but lately all we do is fight and he leaves me at home to take care of him and I do it all day! I feel so isolated, alone, depeessed, scared I can't make it for my child, what's worse is I've been abusing alcohol a lot lately. It use to be when he went to bed, not its sometimes late in the afternoons I'll pop shhooters. I feel so ashames. I use to clean up and play with my child, not all I do for most of the day since the Wether here has changed to it being cold, and I have no vehicle so most days were stuck n the house and I play with him when I feel up to it but usually just turn on the TV ..he looks like he's being brain washed I feel like a horrible mom but I'm at my wits in. Thank God he'll be starting the early head start program by the end of the month what a blessing. My son's incredibly smart but since he's been out of daycare his speech n language has fallen behind serverly. He is also he has some other issues...but he's so smart but I feel like him being here all day playing with the same ol toys and we ching TV is making him suffer. There are days when I feel good and not so depressed but I swear most days lately I feel lost. I'm tired, I'm depressed, I don't have a support system and my family I feel have all turned their backs they never watch him and they tell me to get off the Pitt party and suck it up. We'll I've been trying! It's just been NY son and I since I was born. He's a mama's boy. Like I said his dad works all day and is around when he wants to be. On top of tgat, my son is so clingy. I love him so much , so much but lately I'm just like, in NY mind leave me alone just please go away! And I don't mean it but he's super attached too me, sometimes I wonder if it's normal behavior. I can't even use the bathroom without him following me in there, sometimes he'll let me do dishes or be away for a few but he literally follows me everywhere and I just want to scream. I felt like a horrible mom..but I feel so alone. Is there any other moms out there who have been through anything similar including self medicating by using alcohol to escape the situation.? Then I look at myself in the mirror with black bags under my eyes I've gained 10 lbs when I had finally lost my baby weight and got down to 130 now I'm sitting at 150 my face is swollen probably from drinking. So on top if everything I feel completely unattractive. Yes I have to have some will power, and this week has been better, but it never last. Please help. From a 25 yr old female in Albuquerque nm. Also please excuse my grammer, typing way to fast. Thank you so much! Any feedback would be apreciated and God bless you all :)

3 Comments

View replies by

Lprietonunez - posted on 11/16/2015

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Hi
I'm a stay at home mom and started working from home and doing great I love the company I work with and there products are awsome if you are outgoing this is a great way to be financially secure!!

Julie - posted on 11/13/2015

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I absolutely feel horrible when I read stories like these. Being a happy and emotionally healthy mom is the most important thing to model to your child. Have you thought about going back to work?

Michelle - posted on 11/12/2015

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I strongly suggest seeing your doctor and getting help. You need to help yourself for the sake of your child and if you need to ask for help to do it then ask.
I would also suggest finding a playgroup or Mother's group in your area so you can socialize with other Mother's and your son can meet other children.

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