Stay at home MOM with a part time Job and dont like it.

Denese - posted on 03/25/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I got a part-time Job to hopefully afford a car since ours is done now and im exausted and dont want to work anymore. But we need the car but Hubby says if I dont want to then not to work but I feel like we slowly drowing farther and farther. He just got another Job with higher pay not much just more then he was making. I have aslo made many failed attempt to DHS for food stamo assistance that would allow us to afford the groceries and pay more bills or even get a car. Im frustrated and just looking for other suggestions.

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Kristin - posted on 03/25/2010

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I'm so sorry you feel like you are drowning. I don't know if you have considered this, but have you met with a financial planner. Your bank may offer this service to it's members. Also, have you taken a look at where your money actually goes? You would be amazed at what we spend money on without thinking. Much of it can come down to taking lunch to work, reducing the cable, slower internet (annoying I know, but cheaper), make coffee not buy. As for assistance, you may be eligible for WIC. Not the same, but could relieve some of the pressure.



You don't say if you are a 1 or 2 car home. If a singe car home, is it totally done or can it be repaired. Yes, repairs are a pain, but in some cases cheaper than a newer car. If you are a 2 car home, do have to have two cars or can you make it work using public transportaion; fewer repairs and maintenance needs and one less vehice to insure.



What about finiding a different part time job? You don't say what you do, but you might be able to turn a favorite activity into a part time paying job; dog walking, teach sewing, teach painting, piano. Really if you hate working though, just be done. The best gift for your family is to be happy, healthy, and sane. Good luck.

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You would probably be better off if you quit your job and just do school full time. Here is the reasoning--the welfare system in America is messed up and inadvertently penalizes people who make just above the qualification amounts. By quitting your job, you will probably reduce your household income enough to qualify for more aid (food stamp $$, healthcare) than you could buy with the money you make at work. Does that make sense?
Also, most states offer childcare or credit vouchers to mothers who are full time students at state accredited colleges. Most of those programs cover 60-100% of the cost of childcare.
I would normally not recommend this, but it sounds like you have a clear and set plan for getting off of financial assistance in the future.

Dara - posted on 03/25/2010

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That's a good idea Denese. I was actually thinking about doing the same. Putting my girls in daycare and working there I think would make both their father and I more comfortable with the situation. It is quite a bit of work. I worked at a daycare briefly when I was pregnant with Trinity but I think being pregnant only made it harder. Anyway, best of luck to you sweetie and your family! I'm sure your boys would love gardening...it's fun. Go to your local Home Depot and talk to someone in the gardening dept and find out what grows well where you are and start with that. :)

Denese - posted on 03/25/2010

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OH . As for school I go full time online. It takes alot of my time depending on the asignment week but its working well. Just trying to push thru till i get my degree and can have a career and better pay. Have another year to finish my associates degree then on to my Bachelors in Early Elementary education. I am debating checking out the daycares for positions since I am in school for teaching. :-)

Denese - posted on 03/25/2010

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Kristen and Dara,
Ty soo much. I will hang in there and we will make it. I love the idea of a garden. :-) Old fashioned or not it would definitely help the grocery bill and be an event the boys and I can do together. I just need to figure out what will grow in my yard and work hard at it. I have not yet to be successful with plants or growing things.llol. Im very bad at it. Mostly cause i dont keep up with it. But its a great start and ty soo much for the advice I really appreciate it. :-)

Kristin - posted on 03/25/2010

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Denese,



It really does sound like you are doing everything you can. Dara is spot on in that perhaps it's time to find a different kind of job, something less physically demanding. Loving your customers is not going to compensate for hating that you are doing it at all. What about full time school? You will finish faster and be better suited to the higher paying jobs out there and your school schedule may not work perfectly with the kids schedule, but you can minimize child care time.



Do you live where you can have a garden and some cool storage space? If you do, you can always grow stuff that you can store for winter; potatoes, squash, etc. This may be really ambitious but there is also canning for things like tomatoes, beans, peas, beets. In the summer you will have fresh corn and salad. I know, super old-fashioned, but you can cut down some of what you have to purchase at least for a while.



That pretty much exhausts my ideas. While our situation isn't as tight as yours, I do understand the challenges that you are going through. Keep your chin up, this will get better.

Dara - posted on 03/25/2010

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At this point it sounds like you ARE doing everything you possibly can. I'm in a similiar situation. However I am able to work but my fiance doesn't want me to...can't stand the idea of putting our daughters in daycare. Not that I like the idea either. We've been living with his father for just over a year now. Just keep up the good work. I don't know what the job market is like out there, it stinks here but maybe find something that isn't so draining. Being on your feet the whole time will take it out of you. Maybe you can find an office job...or desk job of some sort. You'd be suprised at some of the places that have desk jobs you never would've thought about. Like hair salons. Anyway not sure how helpful I have been but I tried. Just remember...tough times don't last, tough people do! Keep your head up Mama, your family needs you. :)

Denese - posted on 03/25/2010

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I work as a waffle house cook and waitress. I do love the customers and it feels like second home but its breaking me down physically as I am partially disabled and in need of medical attention but do not have insurance at the time. We only have on car as the second car broke down a year ago and we decided then that one car would work better with finances anyway. We dont really pay for anything we dont need like cable or home phone dont have it. Just a cell phone and internet thru Criket which is cheapest in our area which we have for my schooling I take online. The car is still driving but is leaking 2 quarts of transmission fluids a day. My dad is a mechanic and says the car has two months to two day no way to tell just that it is done and time for a new one. Have put several repairs throught 3 years and it is done. I have rearanged our finances and only have what we need. Have been making lunches for hubby for two year now so no added income there. Just income does not meet the resources we use as we have 3 sons who eat as much as their father and grocery bill is 1500 a months to which i cut down to 200-300 with me goin to food pantries but Ive found this soo much less nutricious for them.
As for WIC My youngest son just turned 5 so we no longer qualify to recieve WIC. Im just ready to be in a better financial situation.

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