
Kimberly - posted on 04/04/2011 ( 49 moms have responded )
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I am a stay at home mom without a car and no license. My mom refuses to babysit and cant find a sitter who wont charge me twenty bucks an hour. I have a job across the street for an hour a day but i cant take my son with me. I just need some ideas of what to do. I would walk into town, but town is ten miles from me and my husband works twelve hour days. I am getting so frustrated with no break from my 7 month old.
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Jane - posted on 04/08/2011
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Don't think about what you can't do. Think about what you can do. You seem to have computer access - is there anything you could sell on eBay? Could you start a garden and thereby save money from your allowance? Is there a park or a playground close to you that you could walk to? If so, you might go at various time to see if any other moms with young children show up there that you could befriend? Are there any churches nearby with activities for moms with small children? We don't know your neighborhood, but I suggest you try looking at it with an eye for opportunities for you and your baby to socialize.
Also, is there any chance that once you do get your license back you could drive your husband to work at least one day a week so you could have the car? That would give you a bit of freedom from the four walls and make it easier to do things you need to do such as take your baby in for well-baby check ups.
You could also consider looking for a used bicycle and use it to expand your range somewhat. Put the baby in a sling and go explore.
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It is very important that you have balance in your life, especially when you are a SAHM and being unable to get out much does not contribute to achieving balance.I have a friend who was down to one car for about 6 months so she decided to take her husband to work and pick him up, I do not know if that would work for you because it does not sound like your husband sees your needs as needs. Can your friends pick you up once in a while so you can be with them? Also, if you join a moms group you could host the playgroups at home so that you can at least have some interaction with other adults even if you don get out of the house. I hope that the fact that your husband leaves you home with no transportation and has all financial control is not his way of controlling you and isolating you. If you think it is, then you may want to have a serious conversation with him. to be emotionally healthy and a better mom and wife, You need balance and that includes social interaction, getting out of the house so you can be part of a playgroup for your baby, etc... Good luck.
Stifler's - posted on 04/06/2011
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I used to walk to town just to get out of the house when Logan was 7 months. Even though I had a car it was more convenient to put him in the stroller and walk off to town and buy a few things like milk etc. and walk home and have a look around the op shop on the way home and find bargains and books for us to read and clothes in the next size up for like $1. Is there a bus you can take to town? Lift with the neighbours to town? Give the neighbours fuel money to take you to town? Do you have neighbours you can hang out with and do coffee one day a week. Even if they're old and have no kids it can still be a fun thing to do. I used to visit my neighbour every week at 9 and usually didn't leave til 12 and the kids played and we had coffee and good chats.
Medic - posted on 04/05/2011
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Then do what you have to do to pay the fine and get it taken care of. Take charge of your life and do something about it if your not happy. There is never a situation where you don't have options and are not able to change the situation for the better. I am a big believer in "grab the bull by the horns". Lots of people are more than willing to help but to rebute everything with an excuse makes others feel like you don't really want help, that you more just want to whine about the situation.
Demi - posted on 05/14/2012
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I completly understand you im a stay at home mum without a car or lisence(dont have my lisence as was in a car crash when my girl was 2 weeks old and have enough trouble being a passenger in a car) my familys useless for babysitting as they live atleast 6 hours away and its even harder when my inlaws all live near each other so they use each other for babysitting but they are a good 1-3 hours away so its also useless to us. for they time being ive given up the idea of working as my only option for my daughter would be daycare which me working would only just cover and my partners a truck driver so hes just to unreliable to have him care for her while i would work. i just try to find bits and pieces to sell to make some extra money. to get out of the house i just take very oppportunity i can to put my foot down when partners on days off to say look i need a break im going out or you take our daughter out and do something. this probably isnt very helpful but thought id let you know your not alone.