staying at home and a little lonely

Joyce - posted on 11/05/2008 ( 33 moms have responded )

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Hi, my name is Joyce and I am a sahm of Matthew who is 8 months old. Before he was born I was very busy with work and workouts and socializing. Now I am at home and sometimes I am a little lonely. Would love to have some online friends to chat with.

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[deleted account]

I know it is lonely-- chatting online is how I cope -- have you tried coffee shops?-- or even a local stroytime?

Nicola - posted on 12/05/2008

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hi im a stay at home mam n i live in newcastle upon tyne in sunny england. my son has just started nursery so im in the middle of gettin ME back wen im a person on my own not just kories mam which is really hard to do wen its all iv nown 4 3 n a half years! iv just started college and iam working 6 hours a week just to get me back out in to the world. after having my son i was fine then i started staying in all the time not even going out shopping and stuff like that and i got so lonely my boyfriend wud have t do everything if it meant leaving the house it took me 2 yrs t relise i suffered from post natal depression but now im great although it stil gets lonely at times im here to talk most days if ur bord or u just want a moan xxxxx from nicola

Megan - posted on 11/12/2008

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I am knew here. I am a SAHM of two. My daughter is 22 months and my son is 9 months. I work part time and do some volunteer work as I have to get out of the house sometime. My husband tends to work between 12 to 15 hours days and now getting ready to go back overseas(he is national guard) and will be gone for around 15 months or longer. I have only a couple friends here as we moved from our families so have no help or breaks. My church has a program called a babysitting exchange where you take turns babysitting for each other to get a break and do not have to pay for it. I only get on here when my kids happen to take naps at the same time-which happens maybe a couple times a week. I also watch another littls girl who is 2 and half to get alittle extra money-and need more if anyone knows a good way to make money-daycare isn't worth it-and I love being home with them, I wouldn't trade it for the world, but would love an adult conversation and night without cooking once in awhile:)

Erin - posted on 11/11/2008

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Hi, my name is Erin and I am a stay at home mom of 3. My 2 boys are in school but I'm home with my 21/2 yr old. I don't think anyone who isn't a stay at home mom would ever understand how hard it is. It is lonely sometimes and feels like you are losing a part of yourself...or you almost start to forget how you used to be. Thank goodness for email and things like that....a link to the outside world and other adults. I am always up to chatting about anything from our kids, celebrity gossip, TV....whatever you want. Feel free to email me any time you want.

[deleted account]

I was also that way til I found I stay at home job that pays me to simply talk to people about them. I love it, I get to talk to new people everyday (if I choose), I can make my own hours, and not miss a single thing that my crazy bouncing boy does. If you want to know more email me at krisdenise136@yahoo.com

Sarah-Anne - posted on 11/11/2008

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yeah the problem with me, is that i get lonely, but i dont have a vehicle..id have to bundle up my baby in the winter and take him outside on the bus..so it makes me not want to go out side lol..so now im not sure what to do

[deleted account]

there is baby and mom groups in every community. almost anything too. You can do baby and mom work out classes in or out of the pool or just groups

Amanda - posted on 11/10/2008

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I am a homemaker with three children (5, 3, and 2). I get very lonely too. Sometimes is brings me to tears. I worked with my first two and then stayed home right before my third. I started my masters program about 5 months ago. That has helped to keep my mind active. I know that is not realistic for everyone, but speaks to finding something to do for yourself. That does not take away lonliness, but it helps. It is funny that we are all out there sitting in our homes, looking at the same walls, the same dirt on the floor, and all the while we are all "together."

Sarah-Anne - posted on 11/10/2008

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hi, i have a 4 month old, and at the beginning, since i wasnt able to nurse, i worked because i was soo used to being out of the house all day that it felt weird to be home, I am now staying home and it does get rather lonely, i spend alot of my time on the phone (when my son doesnt need attention obviously) ..and im not really sure what to do now a days, cuz im soo used to having a big social life, of going out every day with friends, now that ive become a mom, and my friends arent at that stage yet, ive seem to have lost them all.
It also isnt easy because my husband spends alot of time on his games, so even when he does come home from work, im still pretty much feeling alone..and im not really sure how that feeling goes away...

Paula - posted on 11/07/2008

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Hi Jpyce i'm a stay at home mum with 2 at school and a 6mth old x i used to get lonely but now i have started enjoying my own company a little more i know how u feel though feel free to chat anytime take care xxxxxxxxxx

Joyce - posted on 11/07/2008

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I want to thnk everyone for their overwhelming response. It has really made things a lot better. I am not feeling so alone. If anyone wants to chat, feel free to send me a friend request. I would love to have some new friends to talk to on a regular basis. P.S. I live in Canada and it is starting to get cold and snowy out so friends are extra welcome this time of year. I also joined a Mom's group on Tuesday mornings and it seems pretty nice. I will go to that as often as weather allows. Talk to you all soon. Thanks again!!!!

Ginnalee - posted on 11/07/2008

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i know how you feel i am also a stay at home mom, i have two sons, the oldest is almost 4 and the youngest is 10 mos. we moved from florida(where i am from) to pennsylvania where my husband is from and i don't really know any one. i find myself waiting for my husband to get home so that i have an adult to talk to. you can always chat with me and just remember even though it gets a little lonely sometimes you are providing your child with a great start by staying home with him!

Cheryl - posted on 11/07/2008

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Hey Joyce:



I noticed that you have teens and preschoolers. I do too, in fact, your 17 year old is only 4 days younger than mine! My kids are 17, 13, 4, 3. I'm always excited to find other moms who have the same age spread and I would love to talk to you online.



Cheryl

Maria - posted on 11/07/2008

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I have been there! I know how you feel. My kids are almost 8 and 10 now and I get lonely... even when they are home I long for adult conversation!

Sarah - posted on 11/07/2008

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Hey Joyce! I thought I'd drop you a quick note on the board to see how everything was going while my little girl is catching a cap nap (who knew you could get so much done in one of those five minute windows!). Reagan is only a month old, so we're still trying to work out some kind of a routine. As much as I don't want her to grow up, it will be nice to be able to plan my days a little bit better. Hate to cut this short, but I hear squeaks coming in the other room and it's about time to feed her! Hope all is well! Take care and hope to hear from you soon!

Dawn - posted on 11/06/2008

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Hello Joyce!! How about a MOPS group. It is Mothers Of PreSchoolers. They are held at local churches and you can go even if you don't attend that church. The children go into "daycare" it is a MOPPET program and they do fun stuff with the little ones, while YOU have adult time. Eat, make crafts, sometimes listen to a speaker about different things to help you in your life. They also have "mentor moms" who have older children to help you out. I've been going since my oldest was a few months old and I LOVE that time to myself.

Sarah - posted on 11/05/2008

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Looks like there are a lot of us in the lonely boat! I have a 13month old son, Xavier. Prior to him I worked full time in a very busy high stress field. It is definitely a difficult transition. Plus my husband is gone 3 days a week, so I struggle w/being home alone.

I too joined a mom group, Holistic Moms Network and even checked out the Meetup.com. My son is also in swim and gymnastics. For me though the best thing was reaching out to people that I once considered acquaintances or only knew in passing. I just started calling or emailing them and asking them if they wanted to go to dinner. Now I feel I have more friends then ever and we have more things in common. You might also trying sending cards through good old US mail. We all love getting something in the mail that isn't a bill or asking for money. I do this quite a bit. It lets your friends know you are thinking of them and gives you a since of being w/them even though you are too busy to actually be there.

Richelle - posted on 11/05/2008

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I completely know where you are coming from. My husband works a lot of 12 hour shifts and I am home with my 16 month old son all of the time. I would also like some online friends to chat with.

Emily - posted on 11/05/2008

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Hi, Joyce! I just started staying at home with my kids, what a transition! You need to find a moms group in your area. It might take going through a few groups before you find one that works for you. I finally found one, and not only do both of my kids always have someone to play with at group gatherings, but I have ladies my own age to talk to, and there's been no drama. Get out with your son, go to the museum, the park, wherever, and you're bound to strike up a conversation with another mom that could lead to a group invite, or even a playdate! Good luck!

[deleted account]

AWWWWWWWW Honey! Thanks for reaching out we're both in the same boat with the exception that I move from house to house between my In-Laws and my husband's brother's place in Bellingham. We currently don't have our own place but we are looking to rent a decent apartment pretty soon some place close to Bellingham, Ma. But when I get the chance I find comfort in chatting with old and new friends online...so anyone who likes to do the same I'm here for ya: Lesia Cerone on face book look me up and seend me a friend request...it would make my day...thanks!!

Melissa - posted on 11/05/2008

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I am in your same boat! :) My son is now 10.5 months old & if we don't have an errand to run or nice weather to take a walk, and we are stuck in the house, we both get cranky! :) I am looking into a Mom's group myself for my son to play and for some adult conversation as well for me. Facebook has been really helpful - finding friends and seeing faces instead of plain old emails. I just found this group, so I too, am hoping to find friendships with Moms like me! :) Chat with me any time! :)

Alison - posted on 11/05/2008

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I know just how you feel. I am a sahm of 3 and 2 of them are in school. The one that is home is almost 5 and doesn't really need me for too much, so I get really lonely during the day. If I'm ever on and you want to chat, feel free. I'm going to send you a friend request. The one thing I did notice, my house has never been cleaner :)

Joyce - posted on 11/05/2008

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thank you to all who responded to my post. it was wonderful to get such a warm reaction so quickly. i would love to chat with all those who offered. i don't know if you just add me as a friend or just leave me a message on this board but i welcome the opportunity to make some new friends. talk to you soon.

Leah - posted on 11/05/2008

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Online mom's to chat with is great, but I would suggest joining a mom's group. Meetup.com has some really great groups. You can look up the groups specific to your needs ie stay at home mom, work at home mom, even mom's with dogs. It is a really great way to meet people in your area with same likes. :)

Ashley - posted on 11/05/2008

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You can chat with me, but I would suggest starting to make friends with other moms with kids the same age - I went to a MOMS club - it was ok. I also found some age appropriate classes at the local rec center - I found a couple moms I had a lot in common with, and we have been friends, getting together at least once a week for he last 15 months or so. Our kids know each other and love to get together, also if we have a bad week, if the kids are sick, or if we just feel down, we call each other up - and we understand that stay at home moms sometimes have challenges arise, and we don't get mad if someone has to cancel.

That is the thing that helped me the most - because I had a chance to meet people, and choose whether or not to trade numbers and get to know them better. And I met some amazing people.

Rochelle - posted on 11/05/2008

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I would get out the Moms club website. You can meet a lot of moms with kids all the same age. Also I would check out through the school district if they early childhood programs that you can sign up for. I met a lot of Moms through that!

I know it is hard to be home all alone, but it does get better! Take care

Samantha - posted on 11/05/2008

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There is a website called Meetup.com. This is a wonderful online community of groups. I have found two wonderful SAHM groups on this site. If you look up your area and there isn't one, don't be afraid to start one up! Chances are there are other Moms just like you wishing they had someone to meet at the park with the kids or help you get acquainted with the area.

Kimberley - posted on 11/05/2008

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I too am a sahm of 3 boys and it is not easy. I am lonely often as we just moved to a new community, there are no moms groups and alll my friends live a great distance. I haven't been employed out of the home in a long time and it is a scary thought that once the boys grow I'll need to re-enter teh work force. I am on often maybe we can chat sometimes

Sarah - posted on 11/05/2008

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Hi! I completely understand the getting lonely part. My little girl is only a month old, and I have already had days when I count down until my husband get home so I have someone to talk to. I went from working full time to staying at home, and it has been a complete shock to my system. Thankfully I have a wonderful mother who doesn't mind coming over everyday for coffee. Whenever you need anyone to talk to (even if it's just to see what the weather is like here in Indiana), feel free to drop me a note. Take care and good luck!

Andrea - posted on 11/05/2008

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Hi, I'm also a stay at home mom. I know it can get lonely. I joined a MOMS Club in my area. It has been great for me. I've met other moms. We have playgroups, field trips with our little ones and moms night out once in a while. It would be worth checking it out. MOMS Club is a national organization with small local clubs. You can google it and check for one in your area.

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