Staying home

Angela - posted on 08/25/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I have 2 girls. One is 3 and will be starting school, and the other is 10 months. I will now be leaving my job to stay at home with them. I am both excited and nervous. Any ideas on how I can ease my fears? I would love to hear from some other moms!

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[deleted account]

Personal time is a big issue. Unfortunately, it is one of the first things new sahm's end up losing. That is NOT to say that you don't need it--I think we all need a few hours of personal time each week--just that you kind of have to work hard to keep it.
It's easy for new sahm's to neglect making time for it. You have to work it into your schedule.

You'll be taking your 10 month old to story times, playdates, and other activities, so you can use some of those to your advantage. My library hosts a mommy's book club in the room next to the toddler story time so moms can drop the babies off and socialize over a grown up book for 45 minutes. Our gymnastics school has "free play" where the toddlers can play on the mat and climbing structures while moms chat after the "mom&tot" classes are over.
At the park, you don't have to play WITH her the whole time. Play for a minute and get her acclimated, then sit on a bench and enjoy your coffee. Obviously at this age you can't read a book or anything because you need to be watching her, but sometimes just sitting back to watch has an incredible calming effect.
At home, once you have the bedrooms, bathrooms, and other non-frequently used rooms clean, close the doors to them. Leave the frequently used rooms (kitchen, living room) until right before dh gets home. If you keep the living room "kid friendly" (no TV, large baskets for toys, minimal clutter) you can let her play fairly independently for a few minutes at a time while you read a book or tend to chores.

Also, make sure your husband remains active as a father. In the evenings when he is home, put him in charge of playing with the girls and getting them ready for bed. This will give you time to get dinner cooked and clean up the kitchen before they are in bed so that you can spend a couple of hours after bedtime with your husband. If he is hesitant, remind him that evenings are his time to bond and build a relationship with the girls. You aren't asking him to do chores, or cook, or clean up, because you are now a sahm & you can handle it, but you are asking him to be a father, and just because you are a sahm now, doesn't mean he doesn't have to share responsibility with parenting the girls. You can also remind him that you can't cook/clean up while giving the girls their baths, so he has to do one or the other.

Obviously, you'll want to spend most of your time interacting with your little one, but those are some of the methods I used to keep my personal time when J was that little.

Angela - posted on 08/25/2013

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I have been holding down my family for the past 2 years. My husband was outmod work and stayed home with the kids. I just hope I don't loose my own personal time... I am happy to be home with them.. It is what I wanted but I guess anything new is scary.

[deleted account]

What specifically are you afraid of? I find the fears vary a lot from one woman to another and we can't really ease them for you if we don't know what they are.

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