Step Daughter

Tara - posted on 06/22/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )




I have two small children, a 21 month old son and a 10 month old daughter, I also have two step daughters, a 10 year old and a 5 year old. The 5 year old is staying with us for the summer, and it's not going as well as planned. She's been picking on her younger brother and sister. She's always snatching stuff from them, pushing them, hitting them, yelling them, etc. I've tried to talk to her about these things and correct her, but she won't give me her attention for even a single minute. She ignores me most of the time when I try to talk to her about anything. She's been giving my 10 month old food, things that are hard and things that she could easily choke on, and then when I ask her if she did it she will lie to me about it. She lies everytime she does something wrong. Time outs mean nothing, because she doesn't listen and I refuse to spank her because she is not my child. I've tried taking things away such as toys or video games, but then I have to take it away from my children too. Can anyone help me?


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Shayna - posted on 06/27/2010




I also have a step-daughter who is 7. She doesn't live with us, but she does stay with us from time to time. She is the 'only' child that lives at her mothers house, and our son is the 'only' child who lives here, so they certainly go at it sometimes when it comes to our attention and sharing things. I make her father discipline her when she acts out, I don't see that as my place, since she is not my child. It may however be a different story if she lived with us though. I still think her father should be the one doing most the disciplining though. Perhaps you two should grow a closer bond, take her out separately and do things with her. She is probably acting out because she wants attention, or feels your not her mother so she does not have to listen to you. If you can grow a close bond, and she feels that you truly love her, and are not favouring you bio' children over her, I'm sure she will turn her attitude around.

I've also had a step-father when I was 9 year old. We had a horrible relationship growing up. I hated him telling me what to do, how to do, or punishing me. I thought you are not my father.. you have no right! I really carried the resentment on him and my mother for allowing it for years. Now that I'm a adult, I look back and do feel bad about it, and we get along great now.

Tara - posted on 06/27/2010




I have tried to discuss this with both her mother and my husband, but they don't really understand. They see a different side of her, than when it's just her and me. Both her parents have talked to her and told her that if she continues to act up she will punished, but she's went so long without being punished that this has no affect on her. I have spent alone time with her. I will paint her nails and we talk. I've taken her to the park and duck pond and a lot of different things, but she is very stubborn and likes to do things her way or no way!

Shannon - posted on 06/22/2010




If you will do a time out sit on the side of her so she knows you mean business. Tell her that you care about her just as much as you do your own. Take time to spend with her and make her realize that you want to be the nice guy and not always fuzzing at her. My step daughter is 9 and she was the same way with other children she need the attention from me. So I toke time to be just her and me and she realized that I was there for her. She will learn how to cope with this. Hope I helped.

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