Stressed my Husband Has Seizures and I do not Know How to Cope

Kelley - posted on 07/27/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Hello. Brief background many years ago my husband was in a car accident that nearly claimed his life. He is strong, doctors said he almost died and with support was able to do most everything he did before the accident. Then a few years ago my husband had his first seizure. He has more and finds out he has epilepsy due to head trama. Then suddenly everything got worse!

We brought home our baby who was on a breathing (apnea) monitor. Without warning he had a a couple of seizures back to back. I called 911 as longer than 5 mins or more than one it is a good idea. Thank God I decided I should take the baby upstairs to put to bed! Over a year now his seizures have changed. Now he has many multiple seizures and they are increasing infrequency.

Then last time he had one at home but barely had enough time to put the baby back in his crib as I rushed in the baby's room. He went to work against my advice and had two more. He fell on some shelving and then hit the hard floor at work. He broke his nose, cuts on his face missing some flesh, blood loss, black eyes and half of his front teeth are missing. Before that he fell down the stairs hitting his head months prior. But now I worry about him holding our baby, working, walking, driving or even leaving him alone. Sometimes the type of seizure he has will make him paralyzed and he will just drop with no warning.

He is a great man and father, but hard headed. He wants to be independent. I finally confined in some church friends and his family. For support, we moved far away from everyone while I was pregnant for job relocation. I'm worried, I sometimes feel alone, tired and scared. I have little help because of my DH medical condition, living so far away from friends and family. Every noise he makes and every thing he does I'm watching him. This is draining, I have some medical issues I was battling and had surgery for before I became pregnant. So I am already fatigued and in pain. I have a small child to take care of and he is premature on a breathing machine. It is difficult to take care of my DH and focus on baby who I breast feed every two hours, including overnight feedings. Sometimes I do not get to sleep for days because of my child's re flux. I feel as though I am slowly losing my mind. I try to do most all the grocery shopping, manage out fiances, etc by myself. I finally gave up on keeping a clean orderly house. This is very difficult.

He has a Dr. but the Neurologist claims there is nothing more that can be done but keep changing his medicine. I husband has not been able to drive over a year because he can not go pass 6 months without a seizure. The last few happened 3-4 times in a day, stop and start again in 3 weeks. We have insurance but the hospital bills are leaving us broke. I am afraid he will die from a nasty fall or no longer be able to work. I am on disability but hoping that during the recent review they will grant me to a work program so I can go back to work. Right now if something needs to be done outside of the home we all have to go, and I have to drive. I have been forced to drive extremely tired and afraid I could fall asleep behind the wheel. My mom will not help. Even if we just need one thing from the store I can't send my husband (in fear of him having a seizure while he's driving or walking in the store.) I can't leave him alone with the baby and I don't want to leave him alone period. I just want to know someone else out there is going through something remotely similar? I see other moms with 2 months old that look well rested and have makeup on. Can they Handling it just fine? Please someone tell me I'm not alone. I'm so worried I am fearful this stress is going to drive me nuts or make my health decline. It feels almost like I am taking care of two children except he can do and do what he wants even against his doctors advice. He wants to be a good father, provider and husband. He doesn't want sympathy, keep working and he feels bad. I am so happy God has given me the ability to stay calm when it is happening though. I love my husband more than anything and it pains me to know that it may get much worse. I would appreciate any support and any knowledge about epilepsy. We are getting a second opinion from a doc that sub-specializes in head injuries and epilepsy. How do we know where to go from here? UGH! I could cry again but only when my son is not in the room. Thanks taking the time to read this long post.

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Leslie - posted on 07/28/2014

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Well, it's good to vent, you need to get things out sometimes! I think you need to tell your husband everything you wrote here because you sound like you're hanging on by a thread. You husband is in denial for sure, I dont blame him, thats a really crappy card to get dealt. I would imagine that there have to be some type of programs and supports available to you, all three of you have some form of health concerns that sounds like they'd be considered a form of disabilty so there has to be something. Im not sure how healthcare works in the US but I know there are differences even state to state so its worth looking into. Do you belong to a new chruch where youre living now? Im sure that some members would be willing to lend a hand once in awhile. Thats a really difficult situation momma, try to give your husband a reality check(in a gentle but firm way), and go from there. Good luck, and dont worry, I can assure you that not all new moms always feel great or wear makeup (or even have a chance to shower everyday). It will get better but you need to reach out to anybsupports you can in your area. Feel better!

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