struggling to cope being a stay at home mum

Megan - posted on 03/15/2015 ( 76 moms have responded )

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hi just joined here as im struggling with being a stay at home mum,its hard work i have no friends im stuck in this house all day with my 2 year old i miss adult convo i feel like a prisoner in my home i feel like iv lost my identidy and have no life which sounds selfish but i cant help howi feel i wish i really enjoyed it but i dont:( any advice would be appreciated xx

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Megan - posted on 04/30/2015

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hi lia yes i have considered groups and am looking into them:)that must be hard being stuck at home with no car and i totally agree with what your saying about neigbours i would love to have good neigbour i could have a cuppa with! wish i was a more confident person! xxx

Megan - posted on 04/23/2015

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hi susannah i thinks its interesting and good that u speak so many languages:)yes maybe because she hasnt got me as much to do things with she turns to her mates more but just feel like shes forgotten about me sometimes! ouh yes i would love to get my old life back from
2010!! brilliant year for me lol yes my email is meganwmattg@icloud.com email me suz if u ever feel like a chat:)kisses to despinoula xxxxxxx

Sofie - posted on 03/31/2015

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Hi Megan,
I'm convinced that it's the hardest job. It's so tiring and taxing and the responsibility can easily be overwhelming. But it's 100% the most rewarding job you could ever have. After the first year, I was so close to getting a part time job and hiring a nanny. Looking back now, I'm so happy that I didn't. I would have missed so many amazing moments that mean so much to me.
Ha, you should have seen how bad I was when I first started (I really wish I had taken photos back then lol). I was painting the wall in the living room and decided to try re-plastering because there were holes and cracks everywhere. When My husband walked in he practically screamed. There was plaster everywhere, even on the ceiling (I'm still not sure how it got there) and I hat spilt the paint tin over and we had a massive green stain on our carpet. I'm not really all that artsy but I am really happy with what I do and it makes me feel so happy.
Cooking is a great hobby. Cooking and baking - I love them both (although I'm still not all that great at either :L) Be sure to share some of your creations with us. :)

you're most welcome Megan, I remember how difficult the first couple of years were for me. Just remember that whatever you're feeling, you're not alone, and I think I speak for everyone on her when I say we're all here for you. Take care of yourself and don't be a stranger :).

Sofie - posted on 03/30/2015

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Hang in there. We've all felt that way, I felt as though my 1st born was taking over my life (which he was) but I managed to find a balance and get my life back. I made other friends who were also new mothers and in the same boat. They helped me get through it in more ways than one.

I went to dance classes for toddlers and swim classes. I met some great people there and was able to be myself without everything being about my baby.

You might find that some of the other mums out see out and about look like they're the happiest mums in the world, but more often than not they're feeling the same way as you are right not. I went to see one of my friends the other week who had an old friend around and she seemed so peaceful and at bliss. As soon as her friend left, she literally collapsed onto the sofa. Some people will uphold an image despite how they're really feeling.

It's perfectly normal to feel the way you do. Try and get out the house, go for walks in the park, out for lunch things like that. I also found it helpful to have a hobby (mine was interior design - which the husband did not like at first ha). Good luck Megan :)

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Susannahchatzi - posted on 06/02/2015

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Hi Megs! Firstly I would like to say sorry for not replying to you sooner. Things for me have been tough so now that I am a little okay. I realized I haven't been in contact with you so I am truly sorry my friend. How are you and sweet Kacie?. Hope all is good with you.Xxxxxxxx.

Amanda - posted on 05/12/2015

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Hello.

I've had this problem as well. I am a stay at home mom by default as I don't have a job and didn't have one to go back to. It is hard to find you amidst baby food, dirty bottles, stinky diapers and laundry duty. It can feel a little overwhelming. I wound up having the baby blues that morphed into PPD.

Thankfully, my husband saw this before I did and I saw a therapist for a little while. I was on anti-depressants for a while too but now I'm fine. I don't drive either so I would either walk or take the bus to places I wanted to go (library or Dunkin Donuts). The fresh air did help clear my head and I was able to think for the first time in a long time.

Not enjoying motherhood is common and not something to be ashamed of. The important thing is you need to talk to your spouse or significant other about this. Tell someone close to you your plight and see if they'll watch your child so you can take a day, or even a few hours (I find that when you miss your kids to the point where it's hurting, you've been out long enough) so you can relax.

If you can, take a walk or ride the bus or train or tram somewhere where you and your son can have fun, if you can't seem to find someone to watch your child. I also have a church family that would gladly take my son forever if I asked. I find that having friends does help. If you have any, see if they'd mind you coming over with your child. That way, you can socialize with your friends and your son can play.

So, things to try:
1. Taking walks- fresh air does wonders.
2. Call a buddy- sometimes venting can help relieve stress that's built up.
3. Go to the library- most have a kids' section so you can relax and read to your child in a quiet atmosphere.

I'm working through it myself so if there's any advice you need, just ask.

~A.C

Cierra - posted on 04/29/2015

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I have a 19 month old and currently feel the same way.. I am 22 so fairly young mom. I am a SAHM and it gets extremely lonely. I have recently moved from California to Texas and find it extremely difficult to find friends my age here.. I live in daisetta which is in Liberty county

Lia - posted on 04/29/2015

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Hi Megan, its normal to feel that way if you are a social person and believe me, kids need to socialize too so they wont grow to be too shy or antisocial. I was in the same situation with my first child and I learned about the different groups of moms out there with great social activities. Look for a moms group in your area and join the group. Go to the meet up website, search for your area and request to be part of the group you seem to like the most, usually you can just go to one meeting and see if you like the group. Now with my third child I am completely stuck at home because we moved and we only have one vehicle that my husband take to work, but I will try not to be shy and start a group in the neighborhood or meet a neighbor that have a baby and may want to drink coffee, teas or have breakfast at least once a week. Dont be shy...

Susannahchatzi - posted on 04/29/2015

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Hi Megs how are you and Kacie? I hope you received my email Test. Let me know so we can get chatting... So how are things on your side? Despina is crazy about her pink bike to the point of driving her dad and I crazy Ola pane trela edo. all going crazy here.xxxxx

Megan - posted on 04/26/2015

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hi keyonna:) everything you have put in that message i can relate to! like feeling over whelmed by my the kids, as for the husband not understanding i totally agree! all mine says to me is the same thing go for a walk why would we feel like going for a walk and how would that help? never understood that..i think its important to still have that adult time having a laugh socialising other wise u will feel isolated i do all the time! if you dont have that time who woukdnt become isolated withdrawn and depressd!.i am also a very shy person to people i dont know so its hard for me meeting new people too! if you ever fancy a chat message me:) xxxx

Megan - posted on 04/26/2015

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hi susannah:) thats ok internet can be so unreliable sometimes!..no i dont have facebook hate the thing lol but we can email if its easier:)kacies fine thanks played up a bit at my mums but she always does when we are over there lol..ouhur so lucky its not warm enough for the beach here yet:( did despinoula enjoy it? god yes they would love each others company lol..and yeah we arent that cool are we so understandable but hurtful at the same timd,i totally agree that she doesnt appreciate or realise hoe much fun kacie can be sometimes she doesnt seem intersted in her..ouh kacies hates flies too lol!.. she starts screaming and says go away fly lol bless them!ok then sus! look forward to hearing from u cudles and kisses to des :) xxxxxxx

Keyonna - posted on 04/26/2015

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i just joined also. i literally feel the same exact way you do. my son is 4 and daughter 3 i have no friends because we jus moved to a diffrent military base. I feel stuck also because we have one..as if i would have anywhere to go. my kids overwhlem me and my husband doesnt understand, when i say i feel like im stuck in the house all the time. he thinks going to the park or taking a walk would help but it doesnt. i just need a adult time with adult friends. im too shy to just go up and talk to people so i know i wont have friends for awhile.

Susannahchatzi - posted on 04/26/2015

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Oh my word I am sooooooo sorry Megs for not responding earlier to your message I was relying on facebook to alert me and nothing showed up on my notifications. Sorry once again. Yes thank you for your email do you have Facebook too? I am linked to this circle of mums via Facebook. I missed you Megs!!!!! How is koukla mou? We went to the beach today and I was thinking of how nice if Des and Kacie would be playing in the sand building sand castles. lol We where at Porto Rafti beach and we got lost getting there howz that for fun. hihihi. How is everything thing by you? Sounds normal for your sis to want to be with her mates more as you know we aren't exactly cool to be around in her mind maybe but you know what she fails to see is how much fun being with a toddler can be especially when they make up words that sound so funny or do things that are hilarious. My Daughter is scared of flies so she says mama fly kill it. kill the fly and she will take the tissue and give it to me. So funny. Hehehe. I will email you.Kai dhosies polla filia thn Kacie. and you give a lot kisses to Kacie. xxxxx

Susannahchatzi - posted on 04/20/2015

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Hi Terri. Sounds like a very hard decision for you to make. How old are your kids if you don't mind me asking? You have to do whats best for your angels. If you relocate to Dakota is it permanent or do you see moving in the future and is DADs absence affecting the kids overall view at home,school at the moment... I really feel your stress.

Susannahchatzi - posted on 04/20/2015

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Thinking of the languages thing I speak Afrikaans but what good is it now such a waste of good brain space that now I need to learn Greek! lol actually it was forced on to us in our school years. It's my second language. No not creepy think of all those yummy candies... Could it be that something is troubling you sister to the point she feels the only way to handle it is to avoid by being with her mates but about the drinking is it often or a little more than the usual. Have you spoken to her and her age say she is at the stage of having fun and such... I know right 2010 we were in our prime and how can 5 years make such a great change that in everything. Maybe we can get it back what do you think Megs...we can motivate each other long distance style. lol. hihihi. Do you have e mail mine is susannahchatzi@gmail.com I wouldn't mind sharing Greek with you. adio fili mou. bye my friend. Filakia. little kisses xxxxx

Terri - posted on 04/19/2015

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Two and 1/2 weeks until he gets home. We are trying to decide if we should relocate the family to North Dakota where he will be working long term. So many choices. Would it be better to relocate and be with him more or stay at our current home to keep things normal for the kids? But how normal is it without DAD! Ugh suggestions ladies?

Megan - posted on 04/19/2015

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hi susannah:) yes iv had a roast dinner at my mums today so very bloated too lol!.. definatly des and kacie would love each other! such a shame:(.. my sisters 21 nearly 22 im 25 willbe 26 on halloween creepy ino lol! but yeah i just feel like shes got her mates gets to act how she wants like last night going out gettin drunk that much she cant remember! if it was me it would be so wrong! n omg yeah! tel me about it sus! 2010 was such a good fun year for me i look back n think how much fun i was having it depresses me lookng back!.. as for washing it never ends does it! as much as u try to keep on top its impossiblen i hate ironing it hurtsmy hands after a while! lol its not bad to be dramatic who can blame us with the lifestyles we have ay!! i wish i could talk a different language but all i can say is cudles and kissesto u and despinoula lol xxxxxxx

Susannahchatzi - posted on 04/19/2015

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Hello. We went to the seaside to have lunch.It was nice but now I feel so heavy as if I swallowed a horse or something.lol As for the weather looks like it will rain. How old is your sister?its not fair of her to be like this towards you.... Des and Kacie would be excellent together. I was looking at my pics in 2010 and how I evolved from then. Now I just feeeeeeeeel so down. I also have loads of washing to iron so I cant have a pity party about being down and out these days.Boohoo can you tell I am quiet dramatic now:-) Toso filia stin Kacie kai esi!!!!! alot of kisses to Kacie and you!!! xxxxx

Megan - posted on 04/18/2015

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ouh im glad shes doing well wity it bless her.. kacoe likes the slides too lol yeah its me and my sister just feel like shes not bothered about me anymore now iv had a kid and shes got her mates to hang out with.. and yes wheres family wen u need them
ay! yes il try and enjoy it but its quite boring lol xxxxxxx

Susannahchatzi - posted on 04/18/2015

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I totally understand, you probably on the go constantly being a mum, house wife leaves us with less time. Greek classes are improving but she needs to learn fruits and body parts. Yea Des enjoyed it. she loves to interact with kids and people. Which is Kacie's favorite the swings ...etc Des likes the slides. Was it really annoying,sorry about that I also become annoyed with family especially when they say they will call and then they don't! What can I expect from them when they don't help in the first place..anyway you have a lovely time with your boo watching footy. Tons of hugs to Kacie and you xxxxx

Megan - posted on 04/18/2015

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hi susannahh im so sorry havent beein in touch iv bin so busy my family have really annoyed me the last few days its a joke!! hows the greek classes going i hope des is enjoying them! and progressing well! kacies good went to the park today kacie really enjoyed it and im now having to watch footy with my boyfriend lol how r u xxxxxx

Susannahchatzi - posted on 04/18/2015

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Hello Megs. I hope you and Kacie are well. How was your week so far? Des is at Greek classes. Hope to hear from you. Kisses Xxxxx

Susannahchatzi - posted on 04/14/2015

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Good morning!:-), Yea those models have private trainers so it's not an option for them to look good given their job criteria and what about the diet thing they have to watch what they eat constantly. I cant go without chocolate. I guess if you get used to eating healthy it becomes a habit. When I was pregnant I was 69kgs! from 54kgs now 57kgs. Damn slow digestive system!!lol. You are totally correct tooooooo much pressure and for us no time to spare but wait Megs till our dolls go to school! At the moment Des is eating like a bird and I have put her on vitamins to increase appetite. I think the only way I did loose weight was due to stress - WHERE IS THE CHOCOLATE...lol heehee, Sooo how is Kacie, give her a big hug for mexxxxxx

Megan - posted on 04/14/2015

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hi terri,that must be hatd for u ur partner being away for that long makes my problems look so small lol.. yes it is quite hectic its the most hardest job in the world! i agree on getting out because if ur stuck in the house all the time it will drive u crazy!! xxx

Megan - posted on 04/14/2015

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hi susannah ouhh thats really good she got on well and coped without u glad to hear the progress!yes the sunshine made the day go quicker lol kacie enjoyed it!and yes i love my fashion telly too! workouts r going ok just when iv got the time to do it lol which is rare.. ther is so much presssure to look like these models isnt ther! all u have to do is look in a magazine see a page full of stunning models and diets! xxxxx

Terri - posted on 04/14/2015

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Doesn't sound selfish at all! I know exactly how you are feeling. My husband works away from home, he is gone 4 weeks and home for 2 weeks. Being a stay at home mom went to an entire new level!! Screaming kids, dinner, housework, dogs ugh the list never ends. Getting out of the house is a must and I am working on that.

Susannahchatzi - posted on 04/14/2015

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Hey hey. A relief today was Des's 1st Greek lesson! tutor said she did well and she didn't cry for her mama. hehehe. You must have enjoyed the sunshine.It is getting a bit hotter here. I am addicted to Fashion TV - Victoria Secret Models. I like Miranda Kerr and Candice Swanepoel. How is your workout going. I need motivation Megs....like did you see these models bodies!!!!lol. Hows koukla mou? Filakia kai kali nixta koukles mou. Little kisses and good night my dolls.xxxxxx

Megan - posted on 04/14/2015

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hi that sounds stressful hope u r both ok and yes would be a big help if we could! was ment to meet up with my mate today but shes working its sucha nice day here im in the garden with kacie the sun is shining so nice!!how r u today u up to much xxxx

Isobel - posted on 04/13/2015

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Morning ladies,
Megan, I've just sent you an email, hope you've got it ok 😀 xxx

Susannahchatzi - posted on 04/13/2015

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My day has been hectic because seeing my little girl speaking less Greek and I can't help her Megs, hurts like hell. The kids here don't speak English so you can imagine how difficult it is, right now she will be attending private Greek lessons before she goes to Kindergarten private school. How are you? Wish we could meet up and go for coffee to chat! Happy to know Kacie goes to nursery, I am nervous when Despinoula will attend........Hope I don't become toooooo overprotective mama bear! hihihi.xxxxx

Megan - posted on 04/12/2015

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hi isobel thats ok.. i havent got facebook unfortunatley, would it be ok to email me the information my email is meganwmattg@icloud.com thanks:) xxx

Isobel - posted on 04/12/2015

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Hi Megan, sorry for the late delay in getting back to you. If you would like to add me on Facebook I can then send over some information for you as it would be great to share it with you - Isobel Alice Ratcliffe. Hope you've had a lovely Easter and a great weekend xxx

Megan - posted on 04/12/2015

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very true! lol and yes ino it just really anoys me who so they think they are! i have seen how kacie reacts and interacts with children which she does at nursery but obviously i dont get to see this lol so at the park i really got to see how she reacts to certain situations how has ur day been is despinoula ok xxxxxxx

Susannahchatzi - posted on 04/11/2015

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Hi. When is too many clothes ever enough for a women with a sense of style! lol NEVER!!! hihihi. I also like the gym but koukla mou was crying from the time I left till the time I returned. I know how you must of felt when other parents give us mamas sass by giving us 'the look' what I have come to terms with is the fact that some parents and other people don't have empathy they're emotionally detached "short circuited" lol. When you are in that position smile and take Kacie giving her lots of kisses to a quiet area and do your thing that you are best at "Being A Mama" then return to your boyfriend with a calm cutie pie Kacie. Remember that Kacie is also has emotions to as she is playing with other kids,she may feel overwhelmed and react accordingly to the situation. Your kid is perfectly behaved too you will see a difference when she interacts with kids more often. Polla filia (many kisses). xxxx

Megan - posted on 04/11/2015

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thats ok us mums r so busy doing all the boring things to be able to reply instantly lol i look forward to ur messages to lol! its nice talking to sum1 who understands n has similar problems!.. and well we went to the pub/park me my partner and kacie was just playing up in front of other children which made me feel bad all these other mums with perfectly behaved kids.. the looks i got from the parents!..and yes i need a hobby too iv started doing workouts at home which i enjoy as and when i get the time! id love to join a gym but there so expensive!..ahh i do love fashion/clothes i have too many clothes lol! xxxxxx

Susannahchatzi - posted on 04/11/2015

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Sorry to reply late dear Megan. I couldn't get to the PC fast enough. Des is fine and why was your day bad if you want to talk about it?. It's hard juggling mama duties for me so I look forward to your messages! hehehe....and whats with the days flying by these days I mean seriously when I finish with tasks and thinking I have time for a cuppa it's already time to start a new day!!! I need a hobby but I find myself looking more at fashion. Clothes are the new thing for me at the moment what about you? Tons of Easter bunny kisses to Kacie and you..............:-)

Megan - posted on 04/10/2015

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hi! yes they are a handful chocolate definatly doesnt help lol! kaciesfine hows despinoula today.. iv had a really bad day to be honest:( xxxxxx

Susannahchatzi - posted on 04/10/2015

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Hello. Yes Despinoula is a handful but aren't all kids like that at times, must be those choc Easter bunnies!!! lol. How are you and koukla mou? I feel sooooooooo tired these days... xxxxx

Megan - posted on 04/09/2015

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hi susannah my phones data was cut off so had no internet very unreliable! so sorry for the delay! oh thats intresting i thought easter was the same for every country lol and as for cooking and baking i was the same was so proud when i baked my 1st cake lol it is beat to just use ur own receipes randonly lol!..ah no! comparing just really annoys me every child is different so that really isnt fair!..i love that saying of my doll in ur message lol very nice thank you.. hows despinoula still keeping you busy? lol xxxxxx

Susannahchatzi - posted on 04/06/2015

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Hi Megan. I am so sorry for not wishing you and Kacie a Happy Easter and for replying late. Greece celebrates on the 12th of April (Orthodox Christians). Happy to hear both of you enjoyed it!!! It would of been so nice to live close to each other. We could of done lots of things together. Kacie and Despinoula would have enjoyed playing together. The pizza and chocolate cake were finished the same day. When I came to Greece 4 yrs ago I couldn't bake only cook Curry!!!lol but now I don't use recipes all out of my head.Lol. Crazy right?. A few days ago I had coffee with a friend and she said something to anger me well after telling her about my hectic time with bilingualism she tells me about how 1 lady's daughter is so gifted!!! The little girl stays in a home were they only speak 1 language. The little girl is a sweetheart but my friend should know better since she has 2 grown kids and comparing is not good. Thank you for your lovely message. Tons of hugs and kisses to you and Koukla mou(my doll) Kacie. xxxx

Megan - posted on 04/06/2015

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hi susannah sorry been a hectic weekend lol had a good easter kacie got spoilt lol did despinoula enjoy it?ahh u can make pizza wish i could lol how did the cake go?that must be so hard having no help or support its a shame that we dont live nearer i would love to of help u out with despinoula it would of been such a help to us both i think lol that makes it even harder the fact theyve past away:( thats sad:( givr despinoula hugs from me:) xxxx

Susannahchatzi - posted on 04/04/2015

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At the moment no plans.lol The Easter card sounds good soooo sweet Kacie is! I am making a pizza for Despinoula as she has been asking for it since I took her out for a drive. If I have time I will bake a choc cake.hehehe imagine the calories..lol. My husband and I own property so there is no need to work, but we are both so so so tired. Not easy when there is no help. His parents passed away my daughter has no grandparent some times it hurts and I end up with tears. Give tons of kisses to Kacie for me. xxxxx

Megan - posted on 04/04/2015

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it is i am very lucky! despinoulas bed time sounds fun lol yes i do like the odd romantic novel too:) lol and kacie loves drawing at the minute so shes done an easter card for my parents lol. i think you have to be organised but its so hard fitting everyhing in im going to do a proper spring clean this week my partners off so he can help out with kacie thats where like i said i am very lucky! what are your plans for easter xxxx

Susannahchatzi - posted on 04/03/2015

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Hey hi. That fantastic your boyfriend gets alternate weeks off!!!! I put Despinoula to bed at 9:30 always after I do her bedtime routine but lately we are having to stop after we start singing her favorite songs.She just stops and wont say anything but changes the song totally. I love to read to mostly romance novels:-) lol. Are you and Kacie planning to do some arts and crafts for Easter? What do you think of Schedules for everyday routine to get some organization around the house.....xxxxx

Megan - posted on 04/03/2015

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hi isobel yes i would appreciate it if you could sendme some information through would be a big help for me thanks:) xxxx

Megan - posted on 04/03/2015

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hi susannah:) i do like reading i usually keep busy by doing washing watching telly if theres anything decent on lol! i dont mind him working nights because he works for 7 nights then gets 7 days off which i find a big help! hows your little one you up to much today? when my partners at work i usually put kacie down at 8.30 but when hes off its about 7.30 how about you? xxxxx

Isobel - posted on 04/03/2015

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Hi Megan, would you like me to send you some information? That way you can have a look and see if it could be of interest to you. Your post on here really jumped out at me, and like I said before I'm working with and supporting other stay at home mums who want to be part of something, want their identity back and want to provide for their children giving them the best life and future xx

Susannahchatzi - posted on 04/03/2015

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Hello Megan. I totally understand about the delay not to worry, that comes with being a mama:-). Yea it was totally awful. I felt like throwing my self down and having a tantrum!!!! lol. Oh no, I believe you when you say its a bit lonely for you. Do you like to read or something like that at night time?...there isn't much one can do at night. When you are alone the hours drag before you fall asleep. What time do you put kacie to sleep at night? xxxxx

Megan - posted on 04/02/2015

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hi isobel thanks for the post! sorry this will sound stupid but im struggling to understand how your business works bit confused lol but it sounds helpful whats involved in it xxxx

Megan - posted on 04/02/2015

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hi susannah sorry for yhe delay been so hectic! oh that sounds awful and very frustrating lol how has today been? today forme had bin a struggle my partners back working on nights so bit lonely:( xxx

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