stubborn head

Hanan - posted on 12/08/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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i have 4 yr old twin girls, one of them has a very stubborn head and i am afraid that things would go out of control as she grows older , please help a worried mom......

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Brandi - posted on 12/08/2009

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First and foremost, i would suggest that you really make sure that you are consistent (with both girls) the stubborn one will see that you mean what you say. Also, maybe it is a good time to hone in on their DIFFERENT interests and enroll them in something that nurtures them in the ways that they are different? i.e. if one girl is very athletic, enroll her in gymnastics or dance or maybe t-ball(if she's old enough) and if the other is more artistic, start a crafting club with some of her friends and let her explore that part of her personality. I believe that it can be really healthy (esp. for twins) to embrace your kids' differences and help them to nurture their own individual personalities. If you allow your children outlets for their unique personality traits, they should be less likely to act out in negative ways at home. Good luck. I would have loved to have had twins, I have always found the concept FASCINATING. I wouldn't trade my two for the whole universe though. God certainly knows what he is doing, as I am pretty sure I would have had trouble raising twins. sorry last part a little rambling oops.

Jackie - posted on 12/08/2009

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Speaking as the older twin... there is something behind what Renae is saying. Could the stubborn be her standing up for herself and her sister? I was that twin. I always felt i had to be a little louder.. a little stronger and fight a little harder because I wasn't just standing up for me... I was standing up for my twin sister too. She didn't need me to defend her... or fight for her "rights" but I did it out of loyality to her.

Renae - posted on 12/08/2009

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I don't know if this will be helpful as its not practical advise. It is common with twins for one to become the dominant one, the dominant one does all the talking for both, makes all the decisions and is more outgoing while the other is often more shy. Could this be what you are seeing develop? This is normal for twins and things usually balance out by middle childhood where one tones down and the other speaks up more. The interaction with other kids and not just being the two of them all the time when they go to school is supposed to help with this. IF this normal dominance is all it is, then there is no need to worry, it will sort itself out and has no bearing on what either girl will be like when they are older.

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