suffering depression

Lauren - posted on 01/27/2016 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I need some advice.

I am a stay at home mom with kids ages 6 and (almost) 2 & now pregnant. I was hospitalized about 4 weeks ago for a severe panic attack and depression. I didn't think I was depressed, just figured stressed. But now, I am just accepting the fact that I am depressed and need to find an outlet. My husband works about 80 hours/week. He works hard and I appreciate what he does for our family. But I literally have no breaks...EVER. I feel like my days are so repetitive and boring. I feel like my kids are beginning to feel it now too. I really love & enjoy being out with my kids, but even though my husband works so much and brings home healthy checks, we have so much debt (due to husband's poor decisions), I feel guilty even being out spending a little money on things we don't "need". I feel trapped and at a dead end. I just want to get away from the cleaning, the stress, the repetitive schedule. Even if it's just me and the kids taking off somewhere, I just need a break!!! (Sorry for the rant :( )

Anyone have any advice or suggestions for me to get out of his funk??!

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Natalie - posted on 01/30/2016

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I've been on antidepressants for almost a year now, and it has done wonders for me! Are you taking anything? If you're not into seeing therapists or anything like that (like I am) you could always get a script from your regular physician. If you're opting out of medication all together and think this depression and anxiety is only staying due to this funk you're in I would recommend leaving the kids with a family member/grandparent for a weekend and take some time for yourself. Take a hot bath, read your favorite magazine, order from your favorite restaurant. Worry about building yourself back up, and hopefully things will just fall into place. Just don't let the stress get to you, remember that you CAN do this and you WILL overcome it!

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Leah - posted on 01/30/2016

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I'm a stay at home mom right now but it's not by choice. I was in a car wreck in November and have 3 herniated discs in my back! My husband and I have a beautiful 9 month old baby boy who I adore and I stay at home with him. I'm not use to this. I worked as a waitress for 10 yrs and stayed working until a week before he was born! I went back to work when he was 3 months old but when I had my wreck I cannot work anymore!!! I am pretty sure that I'm suffering from depression because I have no drive to do anything! I can't keep up with the house work. (I was never great at it anyways) It takes everything in me just to take care of my baby and there are times when do to the extreme pain I'm constantly in I can barely pick him up. My husband does help when he's off work, but I feel that at one point he will finally get tired of me depending on him for everything! I'm not on any antidepressants( I don't have health insurance) but am trying to get into a doctor who takes cash and isn't incredibly expensive! I just feel hopeless and cry a lot for no reason and then feel awful for feeling this way when I have a beautiful healthy baby boy and a wonderful husband!!! Any advice or suggestions will help! Thanks for taking the time to read and listen to my rant!

Raye - posted on 01/29/2016

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Marie, you do realize this is an international forum? It's 36°F where I'm at (29°F with windchill). We had snow flurries this morning. We can't all enjoy a park in this weather. It's a good suggestion, though, for warmer days.

Marie - posted on 01/29/2016

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Im not sure what side of town you are in, I am in Winter Garden. There are like 7 beautiful parks in the area. Free fun! Being outside always helps me when I start feeling down and the kids can get a change of scenery and burn some energy. I hope your feeling better soon.

Google city of winter garden for their website

Kristine - posted on 01/28/2016

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I'm so sorry you feel this way and completely understand. My husband works a lot too and even though I appreciate it, it's beyond hard to be home so much with the same monotonous schedule and no outlet. I have a 3 yr old and am 36 weeks pregnant. Having friends can really help but since moving to a small town and not being part of the predominant religion, we definitely get lonely and bored with the same routine. The winter doesn't help with the depression either. Finding something fun just for you would be great I think and letting go of ever feeling guilty for it, but it can be hard with kids and little free time. I wish I had more helpful advice, but I just want you to know you're NOT alone at all!

Vianka - posted on 01/28/2016

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You cannot always control your circumstances, and bad things are bound to affect you at times. (Ecclesiastes 9:11, 12) You can, however, develop a practical strategy so that negative feelings do not dominate your life.

WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS
The Bible acknowledges that those who are sick need a physician. (Luke 5:31) So if you suffer from a debilitating mood disorder, there is nothing wrong with seeking medical attention. The Bible also emphasizes the value of prayer. For example, Psalm 55:22 says: “Throw your burden upon Jehovah himself, and he himself will sustain you. Never will he allow the righteous one to totter.” Prayer is not a psychological crutch; it is real communication with Jehovah God, who is “near to those that are broken at heart.”—Psalm 34:18.

Lauren - posted on 01/27/2016

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Raye,

Thank you very much for your advice. I will definitely be trying some of the suggestions you mentioned. I know how important the "me" time is, I just never seem to get it. I guess my time is when everyone is asleep at night and I'm up late just watching TV. The insomnia doesn't help my days either... Hopefully I can get back on the right mental track soon. I did get in a good work out today though! thank you again!! :)

Raye - posted on 01/27/2016

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Lauren, being a SAHM is a job. And you do deserve a break once in a while. If you don't take care of you, then you can't very well take care of others. Talk to your husband about how you're feeling. You should not feel guilty about spending a little money to do something for yourself. Do you have family that could babysit for you while you take an hour or so to get out of the house?

For times when you can't physically get away, try to plan some "me time" while the kids are occupied with other activities. Sit and read a chapter of a book while they're playing nearby. Maybe find a hobby you enjoy that the kids could participate in also (if you like gardening, you could have a weed-pulling contest, or have the older kids dig a hole for a new plant). Exercise is a natural anti-depressant, so take the kiddo's out for walks (when it's not too cold), or have a jumping-jack contest, or have them sit on your feet while doing sit-ups, or something that would wear them out a little too. Maybe all take a nap together.

Also realize that the house does not have to be immaculate. Yes, you're home all the time and should be keeping house, but life isn't about how well your shelves are dusted. The kids are old enough to help, too. Even the 2 y/o can put toys away. If you see that they have moved on from one toy to another, tell them to put the first one away, then they can continue playing with the other one. And once in a while, try to see through your kids eyes. Take a moment and look at them enjoying something they're doing. Don't forget the wonder of being a kid and feel good knowing you provide them such joy and a safe environment to live and grow. No one is perfect, so cut yourself some slack. Take pride in your accomplishments, and know your worth. You DO deserve a little something for yourself and not feel guilty about it.

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