The Second Child...

Humphryes00 - posted on 02/22/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )

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First off I'm going to say I love my husband and he works very hard to support our family. He's a wonderful husband and father. Now with that being said... We have a 3 year old son and a 2 month old daughter. With my son my husband wouldn't change him until his umbilical cord fell off and his circumcision healed. But he still wouldn't give him a bath by himself until he was sitting up (Which I was okay with). On the other hand with our daughter the umbilical cord fell off within the first week and he has yet to change a diaper or HELP me bathe her. He says he feels weird changing her diaper because she's a girl. Which I say is BS. It isn't right and idk how to make him feel comfortable doing it!? Also when we had our son my husband would come home from work and go right to him and play with him(and he still does) but he barely will ever hold our daughter and it makes me feel like he doesn't love her as much. Idk it might just be my hormones but that's why I'm writing this hopefully someone can relate to me and help me!!

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Raye - posted on 02/23/2016

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I doubt he loves her less. I'm sure he loves her differently.

My husband changed some diapers with both his son and daughter. He said it was weird changing the diaper for his daughter especially when poop was all around her girl parts. It's usually not something that the father wants to think about (that his daughter has sex organs). It makes them uncomfortable. It seems quite a bit makes your husband uncomfortable (the umbilical cord stump and circumcision), so he might be telling the truth about seeing his naked daughter making him uncomfortable. If he doesn't help you with changing or bathing her, maybe he could do something else around the house to help out.

Men also usually take more interest in boys because they feel they have things in common with them. I know at your daughter's current age, he should be able to play with her like any other baby because there's not much difference in likes/dislikes yet. She's a baby. This part, he really should get over and spend time bonding with his daughter.

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Leah - posted on 03/01/2016

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I think you need to ask him point blank what the difference is. It seems very weird that he is SO focused on your child's sex. He needs to speak for himself. Ask for clarification until you understand him, and be loving the whole time. He'll either tell you what's going on, or hear himself sounding silly. I hope it's the latter.

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