This is just crazy!

Deundra - posted on 05/21/2010 ( 18 moms have responded )

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We went out to eat and I went to fix me a plate and left the my daughter with her dad. When I came back to the table the waiter was holding her because she was crying with her dad. Now when I see this happens it makes me feel real uncomfortable about leaving my baby with him because he can't care for her. What is this happening?

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Alynne - posted on 05/24/2010

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I know how you feel. My son is 18 months and he's the same way. Except, my husband had to leave to work overseas only a few days after he was born for eight months so that's probably why he cries with his dad. We just try to have at least an hour together, walking around, him holding both our hands. Also, my husband gets quite a bit of time with him in the mornings to play with him because that's when my son is in his most agreeable mood. It'll get better day after day.
You just really have to try and establish a routine where she is with him, taking care of her. I don't know how you deal with the games, but with my husband, who is also quite a bit of a gamer, I just sat down with him and laid down some rules that when I ask him to take care of the baby while I do some chores and whatnot, 100% attention is on the baby.
My advice is that you two need to get on the same page and establish your desire for him to bond with his daughter, and what you two can do to achieve it.

Natasha - posted on 05/22/2010

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well i think one years old is still very young...both of my children at one were very clingy to me and didnt like to go to go to anyone...they both grew out of it around two.

Jennifer - posted on 05/21/2010

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I wouldn't worry about it so much. Our kids are used to us being around 24/7, so when we leave for even a second, they freak out, even with their own dad. My husband used to tell me that our son hated him. Even with me in the house, my son would scream if I left his sight. Part of it was because he was so used to me all day, that Daddy seemed like a stranger. The other part was that my husband wasn't quite comfortable with him, because he was used to me doing all the care. Just sit back and relax and things will get better. Our son is a little over 2 and is the biggest Daddy fan (he won't even let me tuck him in at night, because he wants daddy to do it).

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mommy alarms are going off giving you a warning. talk with him...see where his head his. always keep a door open!

Melissa - posted on 05/24/2010

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I am so sorry for you!! I wouldn't say that my husband is that lazy but for a while he was upset our son did not want to go to him or stay with him... I read that if they change their diapers, give them baths, and feed them then they will grow that same bond they have with mom. I BF solely until he was 8 months so all of those things helped with my husband.

I say if he wont get off the game to help when he is playing UNPLUG it... I would if it was my husband! I am very straight forward with him if he is slacking off I will say something and make him do everything... once he is doing it he enjoys that time with our LO. Sometimes they need a little push... if you leave them alone take the game console with you so he has to pay attention to her.

Veronica - posted on 05/24/2010

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It may be his voice that scares her. Some mens deep voice scare kids very much. Plus it sounds as if you are the one who is always with her so you two have a great bond. And if he isn't doing anything with her tell him to get off his lazy a$$ and do something with her develop a bond that is needed.

Cherry Mae - posted on 05/24/2010

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it's separation anxiety..and that's common for children in that age esp when they are used to be with mom all day...babies tend to only want with mom and seemed to hate everyone else..but you can work it out by letting dad be with baby and spend quality time.. seeing dad often esp before he goes to bed makes him familiar of dad's scent.. that's how they recognize people... fortunately, my baby is so comfortable with her dad...i am separated with my baby's dad but he get's to visit us if he had time...the longest time he was not able to visit was more than 2 months..and i thought my baby will not be able to recognize him... but just when he arrived, my daughter stared at him for few seconds and eagerly reached for him...i thought my baby is just friendly with everyone else..but she cries with my cousin which she seldom sees too........my mom told me, she really knows who her dad is.....babies are really amazing!!

Myriah - posted on 05/23/2010

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Hmm...I hear you on the xbox. Well, I hope he realizes the time he is going to miss out on if he doesn't try to form a bond with her. But, it is up to him. Good luck and keep working on him...

Deundra - posted on 05/23/2010

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I married a GAME FANATIC! I have beg and begged him to spent some time with her but all he was to do is play video game, so I left it alone! I have asked him to watch her while I go do something as so as I get up to walk away look back at her she already had put something in her mouth and she was in arm length of him.

Myriah - posted on 05/22/2010

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I agree. Maybe have him start out slow with "them" time. For example, maybe he can read her a book or they can watch a movie together...maybe with you in the same room or not too far away. At one and breastfeeding as the others have said, it sounds like she just has a strong bond with you.

Marsha - posted on 05/22/2010

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maybe he needs to be reassured he can take care of the baby alright in his way, but he needs to be paying attention to her not just showing her off; my kids can be clingy to me since they always have been around me more than there dad so they usually go with me when i get up at a buffet or different things like that.

Deundra - posted on 05/22/2010

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My mean daughter is 1 years old. She spent a night with my mom and did the same thing, but my mom so her every so often, he is here all the time. I am about to sent her to her godparent this weekend but I am afraid. Also she is still brestfeeding could that be a problem to, cause she was attach my brothers at one point and time.

Deundra - posted on 05/22/2010

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she does that and I can't understand it if I call is name she comes running to me and hold me tight, and if he tries to get her she cries.

Deundra - posted on 05/22/2010

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he doesn't do anything with her, he tries to show off in front of people like he really do anything with her, but it doesn't work she just cries and I left them alone for about 3 hour and she cried the whole time.

Myriah - posted on 05/21/2010

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Hmm...does he feel confident when dealing with when she cries? I ask this because at first I noticed my husband was hesitant to pick our newborn son up or dress him. I asked him and he just felt he was going to hurt him. After reassurance from the nurse and him watching me dress him, etc...he felt very confident and in fact is a huge help now! Maybe it is just a matter of getting him comfortable? Just a thought. :) Hope this helps

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