Tired and too much to do! How do you handle it?

Mary - posted on 03/24/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I'm a new mom of a 3 1/2 month old little girl who demands a lot of attention. She will sometimes be ok in her swing or bouncer, but not for long. When she naps, I try to nap, but I feel like I have too much to do to waste the day away. We are super clean freaks in this house, and I feel bad when the hubby comes home and the house is a mess and dinner isn't ready. I do call him when I know that I don't have time to fix dinner, but aren't I supposed to be super mom??!! How does everyone else handle housework, cooking and basically everything else without going crazy and also getting enough sleep?

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Jessica - posted on 03/24/2010

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Honey let me tell you a secret. I used to be a ocd about my home and with three kids they cured my ocd. My mother in law tells me the same thing that I dont keep up with everything like I should, well here it is you wont keep up until your lil 1 learns to be alone for a while a day or take her with you while you clean and talk to her explain what you are doing and take that nap honey cause you cant be super mom that is an skill that I haven t even perfected and its benn 6 1/2 yrs I still have a mountain of laundry and dishes in my sink and and toys all over the place and though you try and try it seems to never end so getyour rest and set reachable goals and whatever you miss today get to tomorrow. you will miss out on a lot of milestones if you are too worried about all the household chores and this is your first and this is the times you cant get back and you will miss so much the laundry dishes toys and all else will always be there to nag you but that lil precious angel is inlt getting older and bigger every second of everyday and cherish it you have a lifetime to become a super mom and do all those chores but that lil 1 only has so much time b4 they realize they are independent and can do things on their own about 7-10 months left so hang on and kiss them always especailly when they are sleeping and worry about that other stuff later it will be there always.

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Mindee - posted on 03/26/2010

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Try putting the wee one in a front pack while you do the vacuuming and other safe chores. She probably just wants to be near you. Also, when she's in her bouncer try putting on a baby einstein video for 3+ months and see if she watches the colors/shapes. My little one liked this a lot which made it so I could fix dinner or fold laundry. BUT, the truth be told, when my little girl (now 18 months) was born, I was a mess for the first 5 months, at least! We ate a lot more take out. lol It's perfectly fine and normal to not be able to get it all done. In fact, I still don't. (partly because I'm pregnant again and so tired). I will pick a day here and there that's either a day I try to focus on getting a few more things done, (assuming I feel energized that day), or will tell myself that it's a day for me and baby, and not do anything at all but play with the wee one! Once and a while you just have to let the chores go completely and focus on what's really important; that little angel in your arms. =) Keep you chin up. You're not alone. ♥

Kristin - posted on 03/26/2010

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NO you are not supposed to be supermom. That is a myth perpetuated from te 50's through the magic of TV and movies. Your daughter is the most important job you have right now. Allowing yourself to heal up from pregnancy and childbirth come second. So, if you need the nap, take it.



Now, as for the house, let go of the clean freak attitude. You both need to understand that that little girl will not clean up for a long time, will not care, and will find it funny that you are going nuts trying to contain her personal tornado. You will save yourself a lot of stress, frustration, and anger if you can find a level of "mess" you can live with and be realistic. You and your husband need to sit down and divy up the chores. You are both parents and members of this house. You both get to clean it up. I'm sure you both have tasks that you are particular about, tasks that you hate doing, and some that can be let go for a bit. That being said, the dishes do need to be done regularly, floors and bathroom too. But, dust is not a big deal and clutter just seems to happen around kids. It only gets worse with more of them and just wait untl they start school.



So, cut yourself some slack. Let others help you, including your husband. If it is so bothersome, and you can afford it, maybe a cleaning service once a week or every couple of weeks. Life will one day come within sight of pre-baby normal, but you will get to a neater place eventually. Enjoy your daughter and your time with her. That's what she will remember, not that the beakfast dishes were stacked in the sink or that TV hadn't been dusted in so long it looked like it's got a beard. Your husband would rather have a happy wife and baby to come home to. The alternative is a fussy child and a wife who is exhausted, hostile, and wants NOTHING to do with him.

Larissa - posted on 03/26/2010

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LET IT GO. Let me say it again...LET IT GO. I'm ocd about a clean house, super-mom/wife, etc but you have a newborn! And it wont get easier until they're about 2. Your house being messy is a small price to pay for spending time with your child and taking care of YOU! Remember, she will grow up way to fast and not want hugs and kisses and be embarrassed by you...so enjoy it while you can!! Cook frozen dinners and let the house slide a bit...you can go back to ocd once she's older! lol Just let your husband know you are tired, wore out and have a lot on your plate right now so the house may be messy and dinners might not be the best...just assure him it wont last forever...and you'll see that once you given yourself permission to let it go, you'll feel a lot better!

Dana - posted on 03/26/2010

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Me and my Hubby was the same way always cleaning. But after some time it is going to break you down like it did me. I went nuts!!! You can NOT do everything there is NO SUCH thing as supermom!!! As far as my husband went that was the hard part till he got a taste of what happened in my day. Then he helped out soooooo much more. You can also try to run a vaccum- one that makes noise- near her to calm her more so you can get work done that worked for my son. He thought he had to be held alot between daddy and grandparents it was crazy but after he got use to not being held everything got easier. Moms need their time too or we go nuts.....unless that is just me. ( by my time it usually means doing dishes or soaking in the tub - but every little bit works for me)

Alina - posted on 03/24/2010

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I'm a perfectionist, too, and love my home to be super neat. And like the poster Jessica, my two kids (and husband) cured me of my OCD LOLOLOL. You are a super Mom not by what you do, but because of who you are - a Mommy! I listened to the wise words of my Grandmother, who raised eight children, and my Mother, who raised the six of us by herself!!! The house will be a mess for a while, dinner may be sandwiches and chips or bowls of cereal sometimes, but it won't matter, as long as you're there. Sleep deprivation affects your health and memory, so try to rest right now. Take it from me and other moms - take your naps!!! Your daughter is only three months and you have many more months where you're not going to be getting other things done, and it's okay. Unfortunately we feel we need permission to take care of ourselves. But you have to be healthy so you can be there for your family. The house will be there and you'll get around to the housework later. As for simple organizational tips - I have a big basket of baby essentials in every main room so I won't have to run around, and when the baby is wet, I have everything I need right there. It's cheaper to run the dishwasher than to wash dishes by hand, and I fill mine up and run it at night right before bed. When my kids were infants, I would buy meats that I could use for several meals - like hamburger for spaghetti, meatballs and gravy, salisbury steak, tacos, etc., and we ate lots of fresh veggies and fruits that didn't need cooking. We did still eat out much more than we do now. I would say your priorities are making sure the floors are clear of things your baby can put in her mouth, and save the larger tasks for when you have the time and energy. Things will get easier and you'll establish a flow, but for now, remember to rest and focus on your health and your baby.

Nicole - posted on 03/24/2010

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Hun, do you feel like the word super mom fits in your vocabulary? I certainly don't! I can't get to everything it's impossible!



When your lo starts getting a bit more mobile and can entertain herself ( this happened at about 6 months fir me) you'll have more time for house chores. In the meanwhile, put a cussion in a wash basket and put some toys in there too, make sure it's not top heavy and take her with you fr room to room as you clean. I have a hall way that goes straight through my house, so I put John in his camp cot with toys and wheel him from door way to doorway while u clean, bath, wash dishes, make dinner sometimes. But generally I sleep when I need to and cleaning comes second, I'll leave the baby in hubbys hands when he gets home and hop in the shower/ tidy the house then if I need to. Another thing, soon you baby will sleep through the night and give you longer hours. Then you can tidy during babys more forgivivg moments during the day and while hubbys making dinner you can bath and feed lo, then you can both sit down to dinner and spend a monmwnt together before baby wakes for the +_ 10 pm feed.



Remember, this stage is tiring, draining, but soon your baby will start smilling, giggling, showing affection, you'll get more sleep and have more time as baby plays with her toys. There is light at the end of this tunnel, I promise!

Jennifer - posted on 03/24/2010

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With my kids, the first 6months were always the hardest. Don't be so hard on yourself. Yes, the house is a little dirtier, and maybe dinner is from McDonalds, but that is ok. It's not like this phase will last forever. Enjoy the time you get to spend with your little one, because you can never get that time back. Too soon, she will be sleeping through the night, and running all around and too busy to even climb up in your lap to give you a kiss. In the end, you will never regret the time you took to care for her.

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