Tired of being the butt of everyone's jokes...

Jennifer - posted on 06/01/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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So, about three years ago, my husband and I were able to purchase our first home. Before then, we had rented a trailor home, then a large very old drafty home that was in no way energy efficient. We bought this home off of my sister in law and her husband, because they had just left the place empty for 2 years. They wanted to live closer to my mother in law, so moved, but just never even put the place up for sale. They agreed to sell it to us for $30,000 under apraisal. Of course we jumped at the opportunity. At first, I wasn't quite sure, because it was really far out in the country, and I had always lived in a city/town. I quickly (like within the first day) fell in love with the place. It is the first place I lived with my husband that really felt like home. My kids have tons of room to play out here, and I feel like they are safe. They have a back yard with tons of climbing toys, swings, and a trampoline. We have a giant wrap around deck where they can race little ride on toys or do whatever, and we have a huge spot behind our garage where they get to ride their 4-wheeler. Our road is dirt/gravel, and not very biking friendly, but the kids still manage to have fun with their bikes on it. Traffic is very minimal. We have maybe 5 cars and 10 4-wheelers that pass our house on a daily basis. The neighbors are all great, and I just love it all! My problem is with my family. They are always putting the place down. Our house is about an hour from where my parents live, and they act like it takes an entire day to drive here. We had a little bit of problems with our water pump at first just from the house sitting empty for so long, and they acted like we bought a piece of crap home. My mom is always making comments about how the kids need to go to her house to ride their bikes, because they just don't have anything to do at our house. My uncle makes very rude comments about how far in the country we are, and how horrible it is that we have to drive 15-20min to get to a town. The worst one of all was when my mom called my brother who was comming out of state to visit us, and told him not to drink our water because it was contaminated, even though we had reassured her that we had it tested and it wasn't! I just don't know how to get them to stop all this bashing. We are very happy about where we live. The kids love it too. Sure they can't just ride their bikes to the local park, but in town, they wouldn't be able to ride their 4-wheeler, or even run around so freely like they do here. I've tried telling my family about how happy we are, but they just don't get it. I swear one day my husband is just going to go balistic on them, and I wouldn't blame him. I guess I don't really have a question, just need some support from other moms that where we are living is great for our kids and not as horrible as my family makes it seem.

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Had the same thing. My brother in law even had the nerve to criticize me one day when he phoned and I was baking bread. He asked if I had nothing better to do and did I know I could buy it at the store. 2 weeks later he called again and I was baking pie and he had the same comment.
Even the niece and nephew who were 6 and 8 at the time found fault with me baking and living here with their uncle.

When they come out and I have fresh cookies, cake, bread, whatever and they want some, I tell them that it is sold in the store in the city where they live and that they can buy it.
When they want to bring their dogs out to run on our farm I make them leave the dogs in the car cause their might be something laying around that will finish them off.

I got real sick and tired of it. When the kids want to come out for an overnight, I tell them that there will be nothing to eat cause I bake it/make it myself and it won't be any good. Stops that in a hurry.
My husband backs me and it's his family. I just go sick of the crap so put a stop to it all.
We are happy and if they are not and jealous, it all has to do with choices we make. I'm happy with mine.

Michelle - posted on 06/01/2012

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I agree with the other ladies, it sounds like a great place to bring up the children. I grew up in the country and loved it. We had over 2500 acres to explore and couldn't even see any neighbours.

Next time any of them complain about how far it is just tell that they don't have to visit if they don't want to. My ex husband's Uncle lived 15 mins away from us and he never visited because we were too far away!!!! Some people just don't like to make an effort to see others and think everyone should come to them.

If you and your husband are happy that's all that matters.

Liz - posted on 06/01/2012

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I agree, it sounds like a bit of jealousy to me. Often when someone is jealous they find an unrelated topic to pick on you for. When I got married and my sister's engagement ended, she became jealous and started criticizing my husband right to my face. Then when we moved into a bigger home she called it a dump and said I should "put my foot down" about it. LOL. I was more excited about the house than he was. Well, my hubby put a little elbow grease into the superficial fixing it needed and now people can't stop admiring our home! She even criticized us for moving on a Sunday and said it was a sin!!!!!!!!!! (We are pretty strict Christians, but there was no other day, and she knew that!) So basically, there is something about your marraige, family, etc that drives your family crazy with jealousy or inadequacy and they have found a spot to poke at. Just smile and tell them how HAPPY you all are and drive them even crazier! : )

Erica - posted on 06/01/2012

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Your home sounds amazing! As you said there are always issues with a home when it sits empty for so long. As far as your mother goes it sounds like it's time to give her a piece of your mind. If it were my mom I would tell her that we are happy and I'd apreciate it if she'd either be happy for us or shut up. May sound disrespectful but how is it any different from the way she is treating you! If they can't back off then maybe a little more distance between you and your family is needed. Show them your serious about wanting them to stop with the comments. If you go to a get - together when they start harping on you and your spouse for your home decisions pack up and go home. I wouldn't say a word just pack the kids up get in your car and leave. They try to argue with you that your being over sensitive or whatever I'd tell them all that you've had enough and you only want people in your life who are supportive. There is nothing wronog with critisim but it should be done respectfully and tactfully they are doing neither! Hold your head up high and stand strong by your life choices!

Louise - posted on 06/01/2012

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If you, your husband and the kids are happy then that is all that matters. The next time your parents moan about the length of time it takes to your house just say "well it keeps the rif raff away" end of subject. Maybe your mother is jealous that you have done well for yourself. Just let the bitter comments go, you are happy so sod em!

Sandie - posted on 06/01/2012

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How rude of everyone, your house sounds pretty amazing to me. There's bound to be more fresh air out in the country, space to play like you said. You get on with your neighbours and you love it so tell them to just keep their opinions to themselves. Glad you've found somewhere you feel is like home, enjoy it and just try to ignore other people's comments...I would definetely tell them to say nothing if they have nothing nice to say though. :)

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