To stay at home for the first time!

[deleted account] ( 5 moms have responded )

My name is Tammy I am a Mother of two girls and one stepson. For the first time in my life I will be a stay at home mom. I have worked since I was a teenager. My Husband is Military and we are moving. This time I will not have to get a job and we are secure enough so I don't have to work. I have already resigned from my position as being an Assistant to the Assistant Superintendent of our public schools here. I am so scared that I will not know what to do with myself after working for many years. I am always on the go and now things have just slowed down. Though we are moving and that will keep me somewhat busy what am I going to do with all my other free time. My Husband told me if I don't like it I could always go back to work if I want but still have the option of not going back to work. I am having very mixed feeling about this whole situation and am very confused. Maybe its because for the first time in my life I have to depend on someone else taking care of me! I just don't know!


View replies by

Rebecca - posted on 03/30/2010




Be thankful that you have the option and that your husband is supportive. I would say that if taking care of the kids, husband, and home don't take up your day you have the option of volunteering. When it comes to the "taking care of" part don't discount what you do. You are taking care of everyone else's needs.

Julie - posted on 03/30/2010




You will probably find in the beginning that you don't quite know what to do with yourself and that you feel like you "SHOULD" be doing something to contribute financially. At least that is how I felt for a while. That should pass however and you'll fall into a routine. If you have any hobbies, you'll have more time to allow yourself to enjoy them, and if not, maybe you'll find something new.

Good luck to you with your move and enjoy the time you now have to be at home and be available when your kids need you :)

[deleted account]

Thank you so much, the both of you! I do value your encouragement. I will have to keep myself busy! And the way you both sound is that I will find a lot to do. I guess I am just scared that I won't like it or that I do have to depend on my Husband now to take care of me. Thanks you both so very much!

[deleted account]

You'll find plenty to keep you busy. =)

Being Assistant Superintendent, I'm sure you know how much parent volunteers are needed in schools. Perhaps you could volunteer one day for each of your children. Teachers always need papers run off, bulletin boards done, etc. So that's three days already taken. =)

The other two days: (and this is really how I spend two days of my week)

1. Go through all store ads that comes in Sunday's paper and go through all coupons (keep old ones too, filed by date). Match coupons to store deals. Then go shopping and make a game out of seeing how much you can save. That really is my favorite hobby.
2. Give your house a deep cleaning. Not the most fun job in the world, but you are creating a happy clean environment for your family.

And if you really don't like doing all that, I'm sure you could find a job. It sounds like you have a great hubby that will support whatever decision you make. We are both lucky in that. =)

Carolee - posted on 03/30/2010




It sounds like your husband is willing to do whatever it takes to make you happy. I know from personal experience how hard it is to let somebody else take care of you. I was a single mother when I met my husband (my son was 1). I worked part time and lived with my mother (I cleaned instead of paying rent). I've always paid my way, though. When my husband and I first moved in together (with my son, of course), I was still working... until we did the math and realized that it was actually COSTING us money for me to work (long trip to the babysitter, then work, etc.). So, I quit and stayed home.

It's really hard to trust somebody else to do what you're used to doing yourself. I about drove my husband crazy with all the constant questioning about what money we had for what bill and when it was going to be paid and how much we would have left over. I had a major feak-out when I was first completley dependant on him. After a couple of months, though, I calmed down (I'm a control freak).

It's really hard to get used to at first, but I absolutely LOVE being a stay-at-home mom! I crochet and draw to keep both my son and I busy (he LOVES drawing and "helps" me with the yarn). It also helps if your husband lets you have "you" days. Once a week, my husband will let me sleep in as long as I want. Whenever I wake up, I can do whatever I want for the entire day while he stays home with Corbin. That way, he gets one day off work, and I get one day off work every week!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms