To work or not to work?

Lilibeth - posted on 11/24/2009 ( 16 moms have responded )

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Hi everyone! I am very undecisive whether or not I will get a job or not. Last year, after having a difficult pregnancy, my husband and I decided that I should just stay home to take care of myself and the baby. Now that Hunter is 8 mos. old, I am wanting to go back to work but then my husband keeps on stopping me. He said it would be better for me to stay home and take care of him instead of getting a job and paying babysitter. I love my son but I think it would also help me if I get a job so I don't get really bored and tied up in the house...pls help!

16 Comments

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Jennifer - posted on 11/28/2009

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it's still you to make the decision... i once had a chance to work in United States, all is set i had my visa just need to book a flight then go, but when i looked at my kids that night i realized i can't leave them like that just to give myself the fulfillment of my dremas to visit America and have my own career as a woman. Nothing compares to the greatness that you'll feel seeing your kids grow with you around, witness their all firsts (smile, walk, laugh, talk). I really enjoyed those moments, but if i chose to leave that will be impossible and in the end you cant turn back the time even if you wish so.... good luck! :-) May God bless you and your family! :-)

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There is a season for everything, When kids are young they need to have a parent available to them. My husband wasn't supportive and I still insisted on staying home, maybe very part time work, hobbies that could bring in some income, do craft fairs and such. They are only little for such a short time, enjoy it, find friends, If you get used to the 2 incomes, you will always need them, I have learned to do with less. The ymca idea sounds great.

Stefie - posted on 11/27/2009

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I am in a similar boat. My husband is in the Navy (we have moved three times since our 15 month old was born!) We did the math and planned our second child (I am 16 weeks pregnant) and hope to return to work in a few years. It bothers me not having a job. I keep sane by sewing and baking as most of the gifts we give. We do free cycle and good will and WIC to keep out of debt. But my saving grace is a membership at the YMCA with baby and me swim classes. It gets us out, keeps us fit, and lets us meet other people. Good luck.

Marie - posted on 11/27/2009

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I had the same problem! Three boys stay home or work... My husband and I made a deal that I would stay home until the little one started a full day of school well that didn't work for me I waited til he was 8! I still didn't want to work, afraid I would miss out on school activities he was my last baby and I wanted to be there for him!! I then decided a night job, I work 8-3 and I love it!! I'm always there for my kids it gets me out of the house and I've met new people!!

Cameron - posted on 11/27/2009

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Hi Lilibeth...find something that has all the qualities that you want while raising your baby. Example...flexibility, control of your own schedule/hours! I agree that you always need some "ME" time! In doing this...it is a win...win situation for both you and your child and that's what its all about. Please share your decision when you have one as you do have our support. Take Care...

Renae - posted on 11/26/2009

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If you feel like you want to get out and work. Then you need too. Otherwise you might end up resentful, bored and somewhere that you don't want to be. Me, I'm the opposite, my baby is 8mo too and I love being at home. I have no plan to if I don't have too. But everyone is different and I think this is a decision your husband needs to leave up to you. There is nothing wrong with spending a little time with a babysitter.

Carolee - posted on 11/25/2009

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My fiance and I went through this. He actually let me keep working for a while... until I decided to sit down and do the math. While working part-time, I was bringing in a whole $5/week more than what we paid for things like gas to go to/from babysitter's house and work. If the math works out in favor of you working, and it makes you feel like you again, do it. But, if the math doesn't point in favor of you taking on a job, try picking up a hobby. I love to read and crochet, and I play games on the computer when my son's asleep to relax. Good luck, and it will turn out for the best, either way!

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Get a part time job, I work one day a week, I never thought I would enjoy it but it's good to have a day out of the house, my son is watched by my grandma on the day I work.

Lauren - posted on 11/25/2009

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I have found being a stay-at-home mom to be so rewarding, but I cant imagine being bored! I was solely "Mom" for the first 5 months and two months ago became a Pampered Chef consultant which is perfect for a stay-at-home Mom. I make my own schedule and I am making my own shopping money! My husband wanted me to be able to stay with the boys (6 years and 7 months) but is 100 precent supportive of me becoming a consultant. I love it and im making momeny while staying with my babies!!

Jamie - posted on 11/25/2009

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I have been a stay at home mom for several years and I absolutely love it. I think the kids are better off having someone to come home to and I know the values that are being instilled into my children. I also have a home-based business that allows me to contribute financially to our household. I work wtih a great team and have lots of fun. Also get to meet lots of other stay at home moms. It is absolutely wonderful. If any of you would like to learn how you can do the same you can contact me at www.workathomeunited.com/jamiewolfe

YVONNE - posted on 11/25/2009

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I work from home for a wellness company & would love to help you all do the same!!! I love being home with my 2 boys (2 years & almost 4 months old!) They are the reason I started doing this. I have converted my home to safer & healthier products & feel better (consciously) knowing that I'm able to help with the bills now too! Message me or visit my website www.LearnToBeToxinFree.com to learn more.

Happy Thanksgiving All!!!

Lilibeth - posted on 11/25/2009

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Thank u so much girls... I do go out with my friends once in awhile to get "some air" and it helps me feel refresh. Oh by the way, hubby told me the reason why he wont let me get a job yet is because he wanted another one next year...hahahaha! I guess it will be awhile b4 I go back to work or maybe not at all...hahaha! Happy thanksgiving to all!

Gretchen - posted on 11/25/2009

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I've been an at-home-mom now for 10 years.... and like you contemplating whether or not to return to school or work. Yes money is VERY tight. I too have been thinking about going back to work however; the best comment made to me was by my boys.... we're glad you stayed home mom to help us. Best of all... I really don't miss the morning fights about whose staying home to take care of sick kids either that's MY job.

Farhana - posted on 11/25/2009

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I am in the same boat ad you. I feel like I'll never be able to get back to work because every time I think about it I also think abou how much i'd bring in and how much of it would be spent on child care. I do have to say that having one night a month with girlfriends (dinner and drinks) has been very helpful for the last few months. We make dinner at one of our houses together and when my kids are asleep (my friend don't have any yet) we go out for drinks. It saves us money on dinner and sometimes we find restaurants that have ladies' night specials where we can have sushi or such for $30 and one special free drink and free manicures or massages (whatever the deal is going on). Until I get a job and start bringing in my share of payment for the bills I look for ways to save money and still stay sane.
I hope you and your husband can figure something out. =)

Kathleen - posted on 11/24/2009

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You need to do what helps you to feel whole and sane....I am stay at home mom now due to outsourcing and the fact that daycare for three toddlers is outrageous....weigh the pros and cons...look at whether the amount you will clear is worth the time you are putting into the job.....if more than 50 or 60 percent of your pay goes to daycare, dry cleaning, work clothes, lunches out, transportation costs, etc then is the job really worth it....on the other hand, does your sanity depend on some adult conversation? I spend hours some days wishing for an adult to speak to....share your concerns and desires with your husband...yes it is nice to have house clean and dinner ready at five but that may not be the life you planned for yourself...unfortunately there is no yes or no to this question....I worked full time when my oldest (now 19 and 16) were young....loved working even with the hassle of getting to daycare on time and getting them to this or that event after school....two incomes allowed us to become debt free.....now with my younger three (5, 3, and 1) I am getting to be a stay at home mom...some days are good...other not....stress of not bringing in my share of the budget worries me a lot...on the other hand, husband is very supportive and does not make me feel any less of an equal partner....am planning to go back to work when they are all finally in school....

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