To work or not work? Expecting 2nd child....

Darci - posted on 06/02/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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We have a 3 y/o and are expecting our 2nd in four weeks. Our 3 y/o goes to Grandmas 3 days a week and daycare 2 days. The baby will need daycare 5 days a week! Between daycare and insurance is it worth working? I make decent money but it seems like I'd be working just to pay for daycare. I'm also afraid that I'd go crazy being home ALL the time with 2 lil ones!! How do all you stay at home moms do it??!!!

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Christy - posted on 06/03/2011

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Darci, You have caused me flashbacks. LOL! When I was exactly where you are (except my oldest was not yet 2 when I was due), I quit my job to be a stay at home mom. After a week of chasing my toddler and being so worn out, I cried and cried, thinking, "What have I done?"

But honestly, I've been a stay at home mom for 13 years. There have been points in time that I have done things from home to generate income for the family and to give me a break once in awhile.

A couple things that saved my sanity: I found a mom that I trusted and we traded sanity time. Once a week she'd take my kids for two hours so I could do something, anything without them! And I'd take her kids for 2 hours a week. We also traded date nights so that we had a free sitter! We'd go on Friday night, they'd go on Saturday night. The nicest part was we didn't have to go anywhere. We were broke most of the time, but we could go home and enjoy the peace and quiet.

I got involved with church so that I had activities to go to with the ladies! And my friends and I would get together nearly every week for lunch at a fast food restaurant with a play place!

If you can afford to live without your income, I am a strong believer that no one else can do as good a job as you raising your kids. However, if you can't pay the bills without your income, figure out if you'll be making enough money after paying daycare. If not, start job hunting!

Another nice thing about being a stay at home mom is that you actually have time for a hobby or two! Good luck with your decision.

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Katrina - posted on 06/10/2011

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I work from home for a wellness company. If you are interested in working from home, I would suggest that your 3 y/o continue going to Grandmas. That way you will have time to focus on work...you can work while the baby sleeps. You can make excellent money with the company I work with. My friend makes enough to support 10 kids & her husband was able to quit his job & now helps w/the house & kids while she works.

Michelle - posted on 06/02/2011

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Seriously if you're not making any money at the end of the day how can it be with it to keep working? You won't go crazy although some days it might feel like it. You'll find ways to get and do things that'll keep you and the kids busy (and happy). Do the math but you have to decide if missing your children's childhood is worth it if you're not even bringing in any money at the end of the month.

Elfrieda - posted on 06/02/2011

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I work one day a week during the school year. Love it! It's the perfect balance for me. If you can do some sort of part-time thing, it might work for you, too, although Laura makes a good point.

I can't really advise you, because I don't know your personality. Can you take some maternity leave and then decide? Or take a year off and then decide? One thing to consider is that the kids will be in school in 6 years. Will you still be able to get back into your line of work, or will your knowledge be obsolete if you take 6 years away from it?

It's really a hard decision. You and your husband need to be united on this one, and sort of decide what your role would be and what his would be. If he thinks you staying at home is useless, and that it means that you're on vacation all the time, it's going to cause a bit of stress in your marriage.

On the other hand, if I had to choose between working full-time and staying home, I'd choose staying home. Actually, I had the choice of working 3 days a week instead of the 1, and it took a bit of nail-biting decision-making, but I declined. This was when my son was 9 months old, and I felt like I had put in my time with nursing and diapering a squalling infant, and just now was getting to the fun interactive part of having a baby who was starting to communicate. Why would I go away now and miss stuff just when it was getting good? :)

Laura - posted on 06/02/2011

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I thought it would be nice to work part time, just to get out of the house. It actually has been causing more stress of having to work around a work schedule. I was starting to go crazy being at home, but now I think I would rather just go to play groups and be out with other friends with kids. I'd rather have a busy schedule that works around me, rather than have to work around a work schedule.

Personally I would not go back to work if it means just working to have your kids be taken care of someone else. The only reason I am still at work is because I'm pregnant and I'm trying to get my hours in so I can take another maternity leave.

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